I could never in a million years have anticipated how this month would progress. Never. The month started with me taking Mark repeatedly to the nursing home in Mountain Lake so that he could attend an adult daycare program. He was NOT a fan, and I couldn't keep on taking him, as it took 30 minutes out of my already crazy morning, so I lined up to have a bus take him. Except he never wanted to get on the bus, so I'd still have to leave work to go home to try to convince him to go on the bus. Here is a shot of the first day I got him on the bus successfully before I headed back to work. He did take the bus, successfully, twice, but after that, refused and started getting pushy, so I gave up and signed up for him to have in-home care. I'll continue the story down the page...
The sign of a very well-loved Bible. It has been an honor to search for wisdom in here from my Mama.
A very small glimpse of what it was like to have Mark living at home: All I could find to eat for lunch was a pile of overcooked bacon. All the bread, soup, chips, veggies, fruit and any sort of snacks to have eaten for lunch were all gone: Only bacon remained.
Cashel looks SO GROWN UP here!!
It is such a pain to keep this kiddo contained. He's constantly running off all over the place.
Neighbor kids have been a big part of summer so far! These guys act like siblings!
Don't even ask me how this happened, but it warms my heart. I mean, I love it when Cashel and Kendrick hang out like this, which is pretty regularly, but I just melt over how they have been so good at including Ryan lately. It's so cute, and he LOVES to be part of the action.
So continuing the saga of the month, as you recall, when I left off, we had decided to do in-home care 24/7 for Mark, which was going to set us back approximately $10K PER MONTH. I was pretty overwhelmed by that, especially as SSDI hadn't even been approved yet, so I wasn't sure, exactly, where the money would come from. While I was certainly open to placing Mark in a facility of sorts, I began panicking a big when I started calling around for information, they all turned him down due to his age alone. It was beginning to look like in-home care would be our only option, and I was starting to freak out a bit. Fortunately, Mark's social worker emailed the Thursday afternoon before we were going to begin with in home care, and she had 4 possible options for placement for Mark. Two of them were fairly nearby: Lake Crystal and Mankato! I called both of them immediately, and surprisingly BOTH of them had immediate openings. And what's even crazier, I had already planned to take the day off work to go with some of my girlfriends TO MANKATO. (There's the Lord at work right there!)
You can imagine my disappointment, however, when I got to the one in Lake Crystal to find this:
I mean, not to sound entitled or bratty or ungrateful, but this was NOT what I had in mind when I envisioned Mark's placement. It was going to HAVE to do, because we had so few options, but I had made up my mind it was just what would be. He had a queen size bed, so basically all he could have there was a bed, dresser and single recliner. Super fun for when we went for visits, right? The lady there kindly recommended that we not make up our minds until visiting the facility in Mankato, so we opted to do our girls' day, and then swing by there before lunch.
Before I go to much further in this "update", I have to pause to show you these two beautiful friends of mine. I know a ton of you guys want to help and can't. I just wanted to put a face in front of you so you can see that there really ARE people actively helping me. These are the ladies who check in on me regularly. They know when I'm having a bad day and check in, in person. They let me vent and hug me when I cry and speak truth and life to me. There are most definitely more of you who do the same. Jill has known Mark even longer than I have, and Angie has known him almost as long. They are in my corner. They may not have been close to Mark, but they have worked with him and known him for a very long time, and have seen very first hand what has happened. They realize that I'm grieving right now, and are holding my hand as I go through it. They're really, really good friends: The kind of friends who drop everything and tour assisted living facilities with me when it's girls' day.
So just as I was getting a bit down thinking about having to place Mark in the place in Lake Crystal, the Lord delivered BIG time.
And that was that. I took the place immediately, and a week later, I was moving him in.
And so we celebrated! I "wasn't hungry", but a couple things on the buffet looked good, and the buffet was closing in 5 minutes, so I just piled my plate(s) full and sat down to sample. (disclaimer: I only ate about half of this lol)
Her legs look SO LONG in these pants!
Melt my heart!
Mama's little Paleontologists!
I absolutely LOVE it when my kiddos decide to all sit down and color. It's so much easier to keep my eye on them!
Hammock swing naps are my absolute favorite!
This is one of my all time favorite pictures! They're so stinkin' cute sometimes ;)
My heart could not be more full when I see her smile!
I knew this was going to be one of the last times he was home with us. It was hard, but I knew I wanted to capture some moments with him and his babies.
Bedtime was chaos in the month of May. I hired a bedtime helper, but the little ones wanted nothing to do with her at first, and the big ones were still in crazy chaos mode, so it took a while to really get things under wrap: 6 more weeks to be exact. For a while, I would leave these two like this while I tackled the big ones.
As if May wasn't busy enough with Mark moving to his new apartment, Mark's brother was staying at our house, we had the master bedroom furniture in the living room as we were also were getting new carpet installed, I left for a 4 day trip to Vancouver, and upon arriving back home, the floor boards had to be replaced anyway, and it was a week between when the floor boards would be replaced and the carpet was installed, so I opted to paint the walls while we were waiting for the carpet installation. It took me one night and one coat (along with some weeping and gnashing of teeth), but it feels SO much fresher in there now!
The next day, we went for our first visit to see Mark in his new apartment. We took his Mom with us, and brought over Papa John's. It was my one reminder that as long as possible, we should eat out instead of bringing food in lol
This picture was going to be so cute, then Cashel ran off and caused ruckous, and Ryan decided he wanted down. Once we all got back on the bed again for the picture, not everyone was as happy as before lol Wrangling 4 kids and a husband with the attention span of a flea is "fun".
Wrangling Ryan these days is about like herding cats. ::sigh::
Kinsley is gonna be my little water baby, I think ;)
Another random act of kindness from a sweet co-worker. I feel like I should recognize the handwriting, but I don't, so whoever left these on my desk - thank you! They made my day!
We've been seeing this face a lot more lately. The "terrible twos" are upon us, full force!
Baby's first bomb pop! (disclaimer: No, I didn't give it to her, but it was too cute not to capture once I found her with it)
I tried my hand at a "dutch baby" pancake for breakfast one morning. It was okay, but I won't be making it again, if that says anything. We'd prefer Swedish pancakes for the effort, and well...the kids aren't nearly as big a fan of those as Daddy was, so I doubt we'll be doing much beyond regular pancakes.
An average Saturday afternoon at Daddy's apartment.
I am in so much trouble with this one! She's just so adorable, and those big, blue eyes!
Ryan's ready to catch some fish!
I still love this man with all my heart :)
Placement was seriously the best thing we could have done for our family in light of Mark's diagnosis. THE BEST. Our interactions with him are fun and lively, and we're all much more relaxed most of the time. We wish he could be closer, but him being further (Mankato) allows us to figure out life without him, which we need to do. Our kids need to be kids, not running in and out of an Assisted Living facility every day. They need to run around and play with friends and just...be kids. I haven't seen Cashel like this with his Daddy in at least a year. It warms my heart :)
Love, love, love these guys :)
The net fishing thing apparently DOES work...when the fish is already dead. If that says anything about the cleanliness of the water at Lake Okabena.
Rainbow ice cream TWICE this year? Say it isn't so!
This one is a farm boy at heart ;) Cashel enjoys a good tractor ride too, but Kendrick LIVES for it!
This guy will be ready for a ride later this year, I think. He's still a bit gunshy around loud machinery.
It was a wild wait for the big kids to come back from their ride ;)
Visiting Daddy is a lot of fun lol
Memorial Day Weekend fun for this patriotic cutie!
These crazy kiddos of mine ;)
My first born graduated from Kindergarten! He chose his outfit for the special occasion ;) I'm so, so very proud of him and how he has tackled this huge year and taken it by storm!
My big kids ready to pick out some flowers and cake for Grandma Pam's birthday!
Rainbow cake FTW! Happy Birthday, Pam!!
This kid is so unpredictable!
This picture warms my heart! I've been very focused on how Mark's illness has affected my family, but I am often reminded that I've only been in Mark's life for the past 13 years. Before me, there was this guy, and Mark's Mom and Dad and sister. His Grandma, his extended family, his buddies...They've all known him much longer than I have, and it's a really tough thing for ALL of them to deal with. It's hard. It was really special having Mark's brother Daniel come out to help with the transition to Laurel's Edge. It was such a whirlwind week, from finding the place to moving him in, and quite frankly, I couldn't have done it without Daniel in town. He has been dealing with a lot of really big emotions that guys just don't talk about. He's losing his brother, and that's really huge.
I spent Mother's Day alone this year with my babies. Last year, I was in a very big way saying goodbye to my own Mom, as she passed away from Parkinson's disease in October 2017. I still got my only Mother's Day gift I ever ask for from my family: A picture with all my kiddos ;) My sweet friend Lana also got me some beautiful flowers and a card "from" my babies, which was so sweet!
The sign of a very well-loved Bible. It has been an honor to search for wisdom in here from my Mama.
A very small glimpse of what it was like to have Mark living at home: All I could find to eat for lunch was a pile of overcooked bacon. All the bread, soup, chips, veggies, fruit and any sort of snacks to have eaten for lunch were all gone: Only bacon remained.
Cashel looks SO GROWN UP here!!
It is such a pain to keep this kiddo contained. He's constantly running off all over the place.
Neighbor kids have been a big part of summer so far! These guys act like siblings!
Don't even ask me how this happened, but it warms my heart. I mean, I love it when Cashel and Kendrick hang out like this, which is pretty regularly, but I just melt over how they have been so good at including Ryan lately. It's so cute, and he LOVES to be part of the action.
So continuing the saga of the month, as you recall, when I left off, we had decided to do in-home care 24/7 for Mark, which was going to set us back approximately $10K PER MONTH. I was pretty overwhelmed by that, especially as SSDI hadn't even been approved yet, so I wasn't sure, exactly, where the money would come from. While I was certainly open to placing Mark in a facility of sorts, I began panicking a big when I started calling around for information, they all turned him down due to his age alone. It was beginning to look like in-home care would be our only option, and I was starting to freak out a bit. Fortunately, Mark's social worker emailed the Thursday afternoon before we were going to begin with in home care, and she had 4 possible options for placement for Mark. Two of them were fairly nearby: Lake Crystal and Mankato! I called both of them immediately, and surprisingly BOTH of them had immediate openings. And what's even crazier, I had already planned to take the day off work to go with some of my girlfriends TO MANKATO. (There's the Lord at work right there!)
You can imagine my disappointment, however, when I got to the one in Lake Crystal to find this:
I mean, not to sound entitled or bratty or ungrateful, but this was NOT what I had in mind when I envisioned Mark's placement. It was going to HAVE to do, because we had so few options, but I had made up my mind it was just what would be. He had a queen size bed, so basically all he could have there was a bed, dresser and single recliner. Super fun for when we went for visits, right? The lady there kindly recommended that we not make up our minds until visiting the facility in Mankato, so we opted to do our girls' day, and then swing by there before lunch.
Before I go to much further in this "update", I have to pause to show you these two beautiful friends of mine. I know a ton of you guys want to help and can't. I just wanted to put a face in front of you so you can see that there really ARE people actively helping me. These are the ladies who check in on me regularly. They know when I'm having a bad day and check in, in person. They let me vent and hug me when I cry and speak truth and life to me. There are most definitely more of you who do the same. Jill has known Mark even longer than I have, and Angie has known him almost as long. They are in my corner. They may not have been close to Mark, but they have worked with him and known him for a very long time, and have seen very first hand what has happened. They realize that I'm grieving right now, and are holding my hand as I go through it. They're really, really good friends: The kind of friends who drop everything and tour assisted living facilities with me when it's girls' day.
So just as I was getting a bit down thinking about having to place Mark in the place in Lake Crystal, the Lord delivered BIG time.
And that was that. I took the place immediately, and a week later, I was moving him in.
And so we celebrated! I "wasn't hungry", but a couple things on the buffet looked good, and the buffet was closing in 5 minutes, so I just piled my plate(s) full and sat down to sample. (disclaimer: I only ate about half of this lol)
Her legs look SO LONG in these pants!
Melt my heart!
Mama's little Paleontologists!
I absolutely LOVE it when my kiddos decide to all sit down and color. It's so much easier to keep my eye on them!
Hammock swing naps are my absolute favorite!
This is one of my all time favorite pictures! They're so stinkin' cute sometimes ;)
My heart could not be more full when I see her smile!
I knew this was going to be one of the last times he was home with us. It was hard, but I knew I wanted to capture some moments with him and his babies.
Bedtime was chaos in the month of May. I hired a bedtime helper, but the little ones wanted nothing to do with her at first, and the big ones were still in crazy chaos mode, so it took a while to really get things under wrap: 6 more weeks to be exact. For a while, I would leave these two like this while I tackled the big ones.
As if May wasn't busy enough with Mark moving to his new apartment, Mark's brother was staying at our house, we had the master bedroom furniture in the living room as we were also were getting new carpet installed, I left for a 4 day trip to Vancouver, and upon arriving back home, the floor boards had to be replaced anyway, and it was a week between when the floor boards would be replaced and the carpet was installed, so I opted to paint the walls while we were waiting for the carpet installation. It took me one night and one coat (along with some weeping and gnashing of teeth), but it feels SO much fresher in there now!
The next day, we went for our first visit to see Mark in his new apartment. We took his Mom with us, and brought over Papa John's. It was my one reminder that as long as possible, we should eat out instead of bringing food in lol
This picture was going to be so cute, then Cashel ran off and caused ruckous, and Ryan decided he wanted down. Once we all got back on the bed again for the picture, not everyone was as happy as before lol Wrangling 4 kids and a husband with the attention span of a flea is "fun".
Wrangling Ryan these days is about like herding cats. ::sigh::
Kinsley is gonna be my little water baby, I think ;)
Another random act of kindness from a sweet co-worker. I feel like I should recognize the handwriting, but I don't, so whoever left these on my desk - thank you! They made my day!
We've been seeing this face a lot more lately. The "terrible twos" are upon us, full force!
Baby's first bomb pop! (disclaimer: No, I didn't give it to her, but it was too cute not to capture once I found her with it)
I tried my hand at a "dutch baby" pancake for breakfast one morning. It was okay, but I won't be making it again, if that says anything. We'd prefer Swedish pancakes for the effort, and well...the kids aren't nearly as big a fan of those as Daddy was, so I doubt we'll be doing much beyond regular pancakes.
An average Saturday afternoon at Daddy's apartment.
I am in so much trouble with this one! She's just so adorable, and those big, blue eyes!
Ryan's ready to catch some fish!
I still love this man with all my heart :)
Placement was seriously the best thing we could have done for our family in light of Mark's diagnosis. THE BEST. Our interactions with him are fun and lively, and we're all much more relaxed most of the time. We wish he could be closer, but him being further (Mankato) allows us to figure out life without him, which we need to do. Our kids need to be kids, not running in and out of an Assisted Living facility every day. They need to run around and play with friends and just...be kids. I haven't seen Cashel like this with his Daddy in at least a year. It warms my heart :)
Love, love, love these guys :)
The net fishing thing apparently DOES work...when the fish is already dead. If that says anything about the cleanliness of the water at Lake Okabena.
Rainbow ice cream TWICE this year? Say it isn't so!
This one is a farm boy at heart ;) Cashel enjoys a good tractor ride too, but Kendrick LIVES for it!
This guy will be ready for a ride later this year, I think. He's still a bit gunshy around loud machinery.
It was a wild wait for the big kids to come back from their ride ;)
Visiting Daddy is a lot of fun lol
Memorial Day Weekend fun for this patriotic cutie!
These crazy kiddos of mine ;)
My first born graduated from Kindergarten! He chose his outfit for the special occasion ;) I'm so, so very proud of him and how he has tackled this huge year and taken it by storm!
My big kids ready to pick out some flowers and cake for Grandma Pam's birthday!
Rainbow cake FTW! Happy Birthday, Pam!!
This kid is so unpredictable!
This picture warms my heart! I've been very focused on how Mark's illness has affected my family, but I am often reminded that I've only been in Mark's life for the past 13 years. Before me, there was this guy, and Mark's Mom and Dad and sister. His Grandma, his extended family, his buddies...They've all known him much longer than I have, and it's a really tough thing for ALL of them to deal with. It's hard. It was really special having Mark's brother Daniel come out to help with the transition to Laurel's Edge. It was such a whirlwind week, from finding the place to moving him in, and quite frankly, I couldn't have done it without Daniel in town. He has been dealing with a lot of really big emotions that guys just don't talk about. He's losing his brother, and that's really huge.
I spent Mother's Day alone this year with my babies. Last year, I was in a very big way saying goodbye to my own Mom, as she passed away from Parkinson's disease in October 2017. I still got my only Mother's Day gift I ever ask for from my family: A picture with all my kiddos ;) My sweet friend Lana also got me some beautiful flowers and a card "from" my babies, which was so sweet!
