My visit with Mark was so, so nice on the 3rd. I have missed him so, so, so very much. It was emotionally extremely difficult, but I managed to hold it together until after I was in my car on the way home. I wanted to hold him and hug him and kiss him and snuggle with him so, so badly, but instead, this was the closest I could get, and even that was a stretch, for a few seconds for a picture with him.
I mean, stylin', right? I'm so far beyond the whole conversation about to mask or no to mask, and I'm not about to talk about it more, other than to say, if they told me I had to come buck naked wearing a tiara and glitter everywhere in order to see Mark at this point, I'd do it. There is no possible way he could be anywhere other than where he is right now, and he doesn't have years left. I don't even know how many months he has left. Whatever it takes at this point. And if you have a problem with that, then congratulations on having the kind of time and energy in your life where you have time to even debate it all.
The 4th of July weekend was kinda a bust for us this year. The little two have been boycotting naps about 60% of the time these days, and this particular day was one of those, which means a SUPER early bedtime, and therefore...no fireworks :( Previous years, we've attended Worthington's Beach Bash on the 3rd, and the kids just take short naps on the drive down so they're ready to go for a late night, but not so this year. Hopefully a year from now COVID doesn't steal all the fun away and we can get back to our normal routine.
Finally getting my toes done! Oh man, did it ever feel good!
These guys have sure enjoyed having their Uncle Daniel around lately.
I do NOT want this kid to get any older. I need to find a way to bottle up 4 year old Ryan for rough days down the road.
This kid was SUPER patriotic this year. He went ALL out, with socks, necklaces, all the patriotic apparel, and wanted to be the one to handle the hot dogs this year. His enthusiasm was super contagious!
I had gotten this for the little two, but the big kids are kinda into it too lol
My big kids are coming back around to snuggle me more lately, and I'm LOVING it!
Even her half smile conveys joy :)
The way Kendrick's room is set up now is PERFECT for cool blanket forts.
♥
Ryan has just started therapy through the county with the program that Kendrick has completed, and he LOVES it! We weren't sure when things would lift enough to begin classes, but we've been able to at least start with outdoor sessions, and he can't wait for his turn each week. We're hoping to be able to stay ahead of some more difficult emotions that have begun arising, and therefore more outbursts, which we saw with Kendrick earlier on and I didn't know he had the option for this type of program before things got a little too much. In fairness, these kids have had to deal with a LOT in their young ages, but while an "average" kid might deal with "big" emotions like jealousy or anger on a smaller scale, or even things like loss of a grandparent, which is devastating in and of itself, they are dealing with the ambiguous loss of one parent, and the emotional toll that it has taken on another one. This is an incredible program to walk them through these emotions and work on appropriate responses to them. I am SO grateful for it!
I have to admit: I've been cheating a LOT on my whole food sensitivities stuff, mainly on account of not having found any really great replacements. I mean, I've not been actively searching, but I did join a Facebook group for dairy-free people, and I'll peruse through the posts if they pop up on my feed. I came across this one the other day, and had to take a screenshot to remember to look for it (or have our local HyVee order it), because YUM! I'd be perfectly fine with this as a replacement for "normal" ice cream any day!
I absolutely adore this little guy! We have had a really, really rough past couple of years, but man have the behaviors calmed, and he just seems so much brighter these days. I think a big part of it is on account of our childcare changes this year. All 4 of the kid are at the same place now, and while there are certainly still spats on occasion, it's NOWHERE near what it was in the past, and they come home each day actually very happy most of the time.
Another big "win" this month in the treat department was to discover that DQ has dairy-free dilly bars! Wooohooo!!!
This little lady had her first year of swimming lessons (parent-child), and let's just say she was way happier in this picture than she was being forced to do swimming stuff in the pool lol We did get through some bubble blowing and a little kicking, but she mostly wanted to chase around her little turtles while clinging to me like crazy. She only wanted to stay where she could touch most of the time, and loudly boycotted any attempt to get her head anywhere near the water.
I mean, I told you so! lol
This guy passed level 3 this year, and I'd say he's pretty darn proficient in swimming at this point! His big thing this year was learning to do more strokes and being able to touch at the bottom of the deep end!
It felt like all I did for two weeks was work, feed people and haul everyone to the pool. I was SO grateful to be done after that!
One of my absolute FAVORITE parts about being a Mama is to watch my big kids take care of the little ones. They have been so, so good at encouraging each other (aside from when they're fighting, of course), and this just warmed my heart! Ryan had lessons at the same time as Kinsley and I did, so I didn't get to go down and cheer him on jumping off the diving board, but big brother Cashel sure did, and it was the sweetest thing! Ryan is such a little fishy, by the way. He skipped over preschool level 2 and is right onto big kid level 1 this coming year. He's SUPER excited about that!
I don't quite know what to do with Ryan's hair right about now lol He loves having it long so he can play with it, but it's kinda like a huge fro right now lol I might be biased, but aren't they the cutest?
Absolutely ridiculous picture of me, but this was pretty much all of swim lesons this year lol I am SO, SO, SO glad that this is my last year of parent/child swimming lessons! Next year, I get to drop them off and watch, and I could not be more ready for that!
Pretty sure that from now on out, we're going to just stick to making dough and eating it. This was pretty darn popular lol
I'm beginning to build my list of things I can eat that don't have obvious dairy or tomatoes in them, and this tops the chart at this point. Chiptole bowl with pork carnitas, corn salsa, black beans and guac = YUM!
His shirt says it all!
Kinsley HATES to wear any shirt that isn't part of a swimsuit these days. But she WILL wear twirly dresses, so I've added a lot of those into the mix.
Window visits were the name of the game in July. The kids went a few times before they got tired of going, so I'm beginning to try to start lining up childcare on the weekends again, or maybe just take a little more vacation time to go on solo trips during the week so I don't have to worry about what to do with the kids. The visits went so well, but man - I'm just really glad we can even just SEE him. It was so hard on everyone that we couldn't just go and crawl right up on his lap and give him hugs and kisses. I think it's safe to say that Mark was WAY more excited to see the kids than he was to see me the last couple visits lol
I wonder often what, if anything, he can even think at this point. Goodness, we all miss him so much!
Love this lady! Nance and I met in college at NWC, and Mark and her husband Curt were good friends growing up. Man, have we had good memories together as couples! It hasn't been easy to align our schedules, but we want to get better at that in the future!
The scene pretty much every evening after the kids go to bed at my house. It's oddly therapeutic for me, kinda like putting away groceries. I may "have" right now, but I remember what it was like growing up, and in college to "have not". It hasn't been lost on me that being able to afford food, shelter, transportation and clothing without great anxiety is not something everyone has the priviledge to be able to do. It's a regular reminder to stay humble and be grateful.
Her smile, guys ♥
The kids and I met Mark's Dad, step-Mom and step-Sister at Palisades State Park in Garretson, SD the second weekend of the month, and it was breathtaking!
This kid just continues to amaze me. He is just growing SO FAST!
I just love it when my kids are willing to hold my hand. ♥
When she's not angry, she's pretty darn cute!
I finally got around to doing a little recap on our entryway project this month. To check that out, click here
I finished the one for the lower level bathroom as well, which you can find here.
I wrote a new post about Rediscovering Yourself this month, and in part of it, I mentioned that my favorite colors are very different than they were in my past. I've been adding these sweet little pops of color everywhere, and I just love it!
Okay, I finished a LOT of posts in the first half of July. In fairness, they've all been those ones that I started months ago and am just now finished. This one was prompted by a meme a friend posted on her wall this month. Spoiler alert: My answer was "Mark". Obviously.
I mean, if he's gonna have to wear a mask in places, at least he looks absolutely adorable wearing it!
I love my new shirt, even if there are certainly days where I don't "choose joy". Wishing it was a tinge longer in the torso though. #MamaLikesFood
The kids are LOVING our Saturday morning walks down to the Farmers' Market in town. I am NOT loving, however, how things go down after that. They've gotten into the habit of wanting to go get food at the local eatery afterwards, and I guess the overall gist is that I need to pre-order some food before we get down there and have it ready when we get there. #MamaWisdom It was NOT pretty the last time we did this. Not even sort of.
The boys were REALLY into fish again this month. Kendrick went for a simple beta fish, so he was able to get it that day. Cashel, however, insisted on getting a starfish, which is saltwater, and in case you ddin't know, apparently saltwater aquariums are not quite so easy to maintain, and they require a heck of a lot more equipment. And THREE MONTHS to condition the water for the salt water creatures and fish. #TheMoreYouKnow
One thing that has surprised me a LOT about my kids is that you could get them a burger or chicken nuggets and fries and the car looks like a bomb exploded and they eat about half of their food, if even. You get them something complex, however, like fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and the like, or, in this case, SPAGHETTI...and literally not a single drop on the carseats or floor. Yeah. What?!??!?!
Mark's brother has been such a great sport this year. It was MISERABLY hot this particular day, but he took the big kids off on an adventure while I cleaned up the littles and got them ready for a venture into the woods at the Kiwanis area just off hwy 169. They spent probably 10 minutes
#OnlyInMinnesota
One of my very favorite meals is this BBQ chicken tacos! It has fresh pineapple, red onions, red cabbage and jalapenos on it. I'm technically not supposed to do the pineapple thing, adn it certainly bloated me up for a solid 4 days and left me feeling uncomfortable, but it was SO worth it! The kids even devoured everything but the jalapenos.
I really do try to do things with the kids that I know Mark would have enjoyed doing with them. This summer hasn't really worked out too well, but I'm hopeful that next year we can do dirt track races in Jackson or Brandon, SD. He was so good with taking the kids out on the jet ski too, so I've resumed that, even if it's a bit more of a hassle to do it with kids versus just on my own.
One particular evening, I got home, Cashel was at camp for the week, the two little ones hadn't had naps that day, so they both were out cold by 6pm. Kendrick had invited Uncle Daniel over for video games, and I had to take my car in for repairs in a couple days, so I slipped out after approving it with Daniel and took the jet ski out by myself for a couple hours. It was SO peaceful out there on the water, and I spent a good chunk of time in my favorite little bay in the quiet, listening to the wildlife and laying back there. Also, man, I need to take a brush to that gray part and get that cleaned up better!
Cashel attended his first week of overnight summer camp at the same camp his Daddy attended as a child. A friend tipped me off that if they get the most letters in a day, they have to put their hand in a bucket of something gross or slimy and guess what it is. If they don't get it right, they get a bucket of water on their head. Sadly, he didn't get it, even though he got 22 letters, because one girl got 3 packages in the same day, and each package is worth 15 letters, apparently. Good to note for the future!
This little girlie chose to basically just paint and repaint her toenails and fingernails 8 times for her mama and me date. What a drastic difference between the boys and her.
Tuesday nights are pizza nights at our house! The poor delivery guys can't even get out of their car without the kids being there lol
I'm such an advocate for physical and mental health going hand in hand. I wish I had more hours in a day some days, but every opportunity I can, I'm either out for a long walk outside or at the gym. I LOVE the walk near our house, being so close to the country.
A few observations here ;) 1) The kids are more excited about the snacks when going swimming than actually about swimming. 2) When I buy the next size up swimsuit for miss Kins, probably best to hide it away for a while, or else she'll want to wear the too-big-for-her swimsuit every day and have a tantrum when she doesn't get to. 3) HOW on Earth did I get so lucky? 4) I'm mildly terrified about the kids ever reaching dating ages. I have zero clue how to manage such handsome boys and such a beautiful girl. Thank goodness at least Kinsley will have 3 big brothers to protect her, because holy mylanta!
I've still got so much work to do on all of this.
Got some work to do, but I was stunned to see my arms here! I mean, I know I lift regularly, but I hadn't realized how muscular they had gotten!
One of the blessings of placement has been my ability to completely set aside all the annoyances of FTD and really just love on this guy. Between my kiddos and Mark, it's pretty difficult for me to contain the joy inside when I see them. He may not really be the man I married at all, but I still adore him and love him to pieces!
So much in this picture lol For starters, this is a common scene lately in our home around 6pm. Kins and Ryan are both going through a nap boycott, and while Ryan's is probably a signal that he's legitimately done, Kinsley still has a solid year or so to go. Also, this dress, guys. I cannot snatch it away long enough to wash it even most of the time, but she wants to wear it ALL the time. I did get her another one for her birthday in early August, but man.
I think my favorite day right now is Tuesday. I am LOVING these dates. Ryan desperately wanted to share a cinnamon roll with me on our date at the local eatery, but I didn't call the day before to have them ready, and they hadn't made any for the display that day, so I feverishly threw together the dough over my lunch break, and then Ryan and I whipped these puppies up during our date. It is so fun to see these guys' personalities come out. Best. Dates. Ever.
Everywhere she goes, I'm tellin' ya!
It was SO fun having family gathered together for dinner! Mark's aunt and uncle were in town from Oklahoma, so we invited them up for dinner one night.
It was so nice to catch up ♥
After I picked Cashel up from camp, we had a couple hours before we had to get the other kids, so for the first time in a decade, we went to the pool, and I got to be ME at the pool, not holding babies and screaming, squigly toddlers who want to "do it myself" in the big pool without life jackets. I got to lay out in the sun for an hour! By. Myself. Man, was it ever nice!
I feel like I shouldn't jinx this by talking about it, but here we are! This NEVER happens, guys. NEVER. So it was fun to see when I walked into the kitchen one afternoon.
Miss Kins and Ryan "Chararles" have been really into drinking my coffee in the mornings lol I only allow it on the weekends, but I won't hate it if they grow to love coffee!
Give this kid an adult coloring book and some Paper Mate Flair markers, and he's on board! He and Kendrick are definitely my colorers. They're so good!
This was so hard. For Mark's 41st birthday, I really wanted to get him something special, but he doesn't really need things at this point. It has been hands' down his very favorite thing in the world to look at the photo books I have made throughout the year, but they're all in chunks, so it's a year at a time. I decided this year for his birthday, I was going to write him a love letter in book format. It started off easy enough a few months ago, but when I got down to the crunch and had to get it ordered, it left me pretty depressed for a while. I don't often like to remind myself of how good our life was before FTD. I honestly don't know how to even handle it, if I'm being honest with ya. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that one day life will be good. Heck, right now, life is pretty good aside from things with Mark. But it's depressing to see all we've lost. To relive all the trips and all the babies being born and all of our memories before kids, THAT was really hard. But I wanted him to have this book, to remind him that he is a good man. I wanted him to have it to remind him that he has gone above and beyond to provide for his family. To remind him that we know he loves us and that we love him immensely. It will arrive on Friday, and I can't wait for him to get it!
Weekend vibes ;)
People tell me she looks just like me, and honestly, it has helped me love myself a little more. If she looks like me, and I think she's stunningly beautiful, then why do I feel differently about myself? #FoodForThought
I'm trying really hard to loosen the reigns and stop stressing about meals these days. This particular weekend I think we had PBandJ (and for Kendrick, that means just the J because he is allergic to nuts of all sorts, and he hates sunbutter and the like) sandwiches for 3 meals. They were so perfectly content with that. I need to simplify.
So, so many memories walking these trails with the family. I still enjoy it, and it has yet to become a trigger place. I really hope it never does, because it's just my favorite.
I am in SO much trouble with this guy. He has the flirtiest eyes and giggle, and he flat out knows that he's adorable.
I cannot even handle the cute here. She'll be three in August.
The kids' daycare was closed for a few days at the end of the month, so I found backup, which just so happened to be their old daycare provider. They were THRILLED to get to spend time with her, and hardly wanted to go home at the end of the day.
Found a new dairy-free creamer at HyVee. It's...okay. I struggle with the separation, which I know is normal, but I think I'll stick to my regular one.
I mean, stylin', right? I'm so far beyond the whole conversation about to mask or no to mask, and I'm not about to talk about it more, other than to say, if they told me I had to come buck naked wearing a tiara and glitter everywhere in order to see Mark at this point, I'd do it. There is no possible way he could be anywhere other than where he is right now, and he doesn't have years left. I don't even know how many months he has left. Whatever it takes at this point. And if you have a problem with that, then congratulations on having the kind of time and energy in your life where you have time to even debate it all.
The 4th of July weekend was kinda a bust for us this year. The little two have been boycotting naps about 60% of the time these days, and this particular day was one of those, which means a SUPER early bedtime, and therefore...no fireworks :( Previous years, we've attended Worthington's Beach Bash on the 3rd, and the kids just take short naps on the drive down so they're ready to go for a late night, but not so this year. Hopefully a year from now COVID doesn't steal all the fun away and we can get back to our normal routine.
Finally getting my toes done! Oh man, did it ever feel good!
These guys have sure enjoyed having their Uncle Daniel around lately.
I do NOT want this kid to get any older. I need to find a way to bottle up 4 year old Ryan for rough days down the road.
This kid was SUPER patriotic this year. He went ALL out, with socks, necklaces, all the patriotic apparel, and wanted to be the one to handle the hot dogs this year. His enthusiasm was super contagious!
I had gotten this for the little two, but the big kids are kinda into it too lol
My big kids are coming back around to snuggle me more lately, and I'm LOVING it!
Even her half smile conveys joy :)
The way Kendrick's room is set up now is PERFECT for cool blanket forts.
♥
Ryan has just started therapy through the county with the program that Kendrick has completed, and he LOVES it! We weren't sure when things would lift enough to begin classes, but we've been able to at least start with outdoor sessions, and he can't wait for his turn each week. We're hoping to be able to stay ahead of some more difficult emotions that have begun arising, and therefore more outbursts, which we saw with Kendrick earlier on and I didn't know he had the option for this type of program before things got a little too much. In fairness, these kids have had to deal with a LOT in their young ages, but while an "average" kid might deal with "big" emotions like jealousy or anger on a smaller scale, or even things like loss of a grandparent, which is devastating in and of itself, they are dealing with the ambiguous loss of one parent, and the emotional toll that it has taken on another one. This is an incredible program to walk them through these emotions and work on appropriate responses to them. I am SO grateful for it!
I have to admit: I've been cheating a LOT on my whole food sensitivities stuff, mainly on account of not having found any really great replacements. I mean, I've not been actively searching, but I did join a Facebook group for dairy-free people, and I'll peruse through the posts if they pop up on my feed. I came across this one the other day, and had to take a screenshot to remember to look for it (or have our local HyVee order it), because YUM! I'd be perfectly fine with this as a replacement for "normal" ice cream any day!
I absolutely adore this little guy! We have had a really, really rough past couple of years, but man have the behaviors calmed, and he just seems so much brighter these days. I think a big part of it is on account of our childcare changes this year. All 4 of the kid are at the same place now, and while there are certainly still spats on occasion, it's NOWHERE near what it was in the past, and they come home each day actually very happy most of the time.
Another big "win" this month in the treat department was to discover that DQ has dairy-free dilly bars! Wooohooo!!!
This little lady had her first year of swimming lessons (parent-child), and let's just say she was way happier in this picture than she was being forced to do swimming stuff in the pool lol We did get through some bubble blowing and a little kicking, but she mostly wanted to chase around her little turtles while clinging to me like crazy. She only wanted to stay where she could touch most of the time, and loudly boycotted any attempt to get her head anywhere near the water.
I mean, I told you so! lol
This guy passed level 3 this year, and I'd say he's pretty darn proficient in swimming at this point! His big thing this year was learning to do more strokes and being able to touch at the bottom of the deep end!
It felt like all I did for two weeks was work, feed people and haul everyone to the pool. I was SO grateful to be done after that!
One of my absolute FAVORITE parts about being a Mama is to watch my big kids take care of the little ones. They have been so, so good at encouraging each other (aside from when they're fighting, of course), and this just warmed my heart! Ryan had lessons at the same time as Kinsley and I did, so I didn't get to go down and cheer him on jumping off the diving board, but big brother Cashel sure did, and it was the sweetest thing! Ryan is such a little fishy, by the way. He skipped over preschool level 2 and is right onto big kid level 1 this coming year. He's SUPER excited about that!
I don't quite know what to do with Ryan's hair right about now lol He loves having it long so he can play with it, but it's kinda like a huge fro right now lol I might be biased, but aren't they the cutest?
Absolutely ridiculous picture of me, but this was pretty much all of swim lesons this year lol I am SO, SO, SO glad that this is my last year of parent/child swimming lessons! Next year, I get to drop them off and watch, and I could not be more ready for that!
Pretty sure that from now on out, we're going to just stick to making dough and eating it. This was pretty darn popular lol
I'm beginning to build my list of things I can eat that don't have obvious dairy or tomatoes in them, and this tops the chart at this point. Chiptole bowl with pork carnitas, corn salsa, black beans and guac = YUM!
His shirt says it all!
Kinsley HATES to wear any shirt that isn't part of a swimsuit these days. But she WILL wear twirly dresses, so I've added a lot of those into the mix.
Window visits were the name of the game in July. The kids went a few times before they got tired of going, so I'm beginning to try to start lining up childcare on the weekends again, or maybe just take a little more vacation time to go on solo trips during the week so I don't have to worry about what to do with the kids. The visits went so well, but man - I'm just really glad we can even just SEE him. It was so hard on everyone that we couldn't just go and crawl right up on his lap and give him hugs and kisses. I think it's safe to say that Mark was WAY more excited to see the kids than he was to see me the last couple visits lol
I wonder often what, if anything, he can even think at this point. Goodness, we all miss him so much!
Love this lady! Nance and I met in college at NWC, and Mark and her husband Curt were good friends growing up. Man, have we had good memories together as couples! It hasn't been easy to align our schedules, but we want to get better at that in the future!
The scene pretty much every evening after the kids go to bed at my house. It's oddly therapeutic for me, kinda like putting away groceries. I may "have" right now, but I remember what it was like growing up, and in college to "have not". It hasn't been lost on me that being able to afford food, shelter, transportation and clothing without great anxiety is not something everyone has the priviledge to be able to do. It's a regular reminder to stay humble and be grateful.
Her smile, guys ♥
The kids and I met Mark's Dad, step-Mom and step-Sister at Palisades State Park in Garretson, SD the second weekend of the month, and it was breathtaking!
This kid just continues to amaze me. He is just growing SO FAST!
I just love it when my kids are willing to hold my hand. ♥
When she's not angry, she's pretty darn cute!
I finally got around to doing a little recap on our entryway project this month. To check that out, click here
I finished the one for the lower level bathroom as well, which you can find here.
I wrote a new post about Rediscovering Yourself this month, and in part of it, I mentioned that my favorite colors are very different than they were in my past. I've been adding these sweet little pops of color everywhere, and I just love it!
Okay, I finished a LOT of posts in the first half of July. In fairness, they've all been those ones that I started months ago and am just now finished. This one was prompted by a meme a friend posted on her wall this month. Spoiler alert: My answer was "Mark". Obviously.
I mean, if he's gonna have to wear a mask in places, at least he looks absolutely adorable wearing it!
I love my new shirt, even if there are certainly days where I don't "choose joy". Wishing it was a tinge longer in the torso though. #MamaLikesFood
The kids are LOVING our Saturday morning walks down to the Farmers' Market in town. I am NOT loving, however, how things go down after that. They've gotten into the habit of wanting to go get food at the local eatery afterwards, and I guess the overall gist is that I need to pre-order some food before we get down there and have it ready when we get there. #MamaWisdom It was NOT pretty the last time we did this. Not even sort of.
The boys were REALLY into fish again this month. Kendrick went for a simple beta fish, so he was able to get it that day. Cashel, however, insisted on getting a starfish, which is saltwater, and in case you ddin't know, apparently saltwater aquariums are not quite so easy to maintain, and they require a heck of a lot more equipment. And THREE MONTHS to condition the water for the salt water creatures and fish. #TheMoreYouKnow
One thing that has surprised me a LOT about my kids is that you could get them a burger or chicken nuggets and fries and the car looks like a bomb exploded and they eat about half of their food, if even. You get them something complex, however, like fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and the like, or, in this case, SPAGHETTI...and literally not a single drop on the carseats or floor. Yeah. What?!??!?!
Mark's brother has been such a great sport this year. It was MISERABLY hot this particular day, but he took the big kids off on an adventure while I cleaned up the littles and got them ready for a venture into the woods at the Kiwanis area just off hwy 169. They spent probably 10 minutes
#OnlyInMinnesota
One of my very favorite meals is this BBQ chicken tacos! It has fresh pineapple, red onions, red cabbage and jalapenos on it. I'm technically not supposed to do the pineapple thing, adn it certainly bloated me up for a solid 4 days and left me feeling uncomfortable, but it was SO worth it! The kids even devoured everything but the jalapenos.
I really do try to do things with the kids that I know Mark would have enjoyed doing with them. This summer hasn't really worked out too well, but I'm hopeful that next year we can do dirt track races in Jackson or Brandon, SD. He was so good with taking the kids out on the jet ski too, so I've resumed that, even if it's a bit more of a hassle to do it with kids versus just on my own.
One particular evening, I got home, Cashel was at camp for the week, the two little ones hadn't had naps that day, so they both were out cold by 6pm. Kendrick had invited Uncle Daniel over for video games, and I had to take my car in for repairs in a couple days, so I slipped out after approving it with Daniel and took the jet ski out by myself for a couple hours. It was SO peaceful out there on the water, and I spent a good chunk of time in my favorite little bay in the quiet, listening to the wildlife and laying back there. Also, man, I need to take a brush to that gray part and get that cleaned up better!
Cashel attended his first week of overnight summer camp at the same camp his Daddy attended as a child. A friend tipped me off that if they get the most letters in a day, they have to put their hand in a bucket of something gross or slimy and guess what it is. If they don't get it right, they get a bucket of water on their head. Sadly, he didn't get it, even though he got 22 letters, because one girl got 3 packages in the same day, and each package is worth 15 letters, apparently. Good to note for the future!
This little girlie chose to basically just paint and repaint her toenails and fingernails 8 times for her mama and me date. What a drastic difference between the boys and her.
Tuesday nights are pizza nights at our house! The poor delivery guys can't even get out of their car without the kids being there lol
I'm such an advocate for physical and mental health going hand in hand. I wish I had more hours in a day some days, but every opportunity I can, I'm either out for a long walk outside or at the gym. I LOVE the walk near our house, being so close to the country.
A few observations here ;) 1) The kids are more excited about the snacks when going swimming than actually about swimming. 2) When I buy the next size up swimsuit for miss Kins, probably best to hide it away for a while, or else she'll want to wear the too-big-for-her swimsuit every day and have a tantrum when she doesn't get to. 3) HOW on Earth did I get so lucky? 4) I'm mildly terrified about the kids ever reaching dating ages. I have zero clue how to manage such handsome boys and such a beautiful girl. Thank goodness at least Kinsley will have 3 big brothers to protect her, because holy mylanta!
I've still got so much work to do on all of this.
Got some work to do, but I was stunned to see my arms here! I mean, I know I lift regularly, but I hadn't realized how muscular they had gotten!
One of the blessings of placement has been my ability to completely set aside all the annoyances of FTD and really just love on this guy. Between my kiddos and Mark, it's pretty difficult for me to contain the joy inside when I see them. He may not really be the man I married at all, but I still adore him and love him to pieces!
So much in this picture lol For starters, this is a common scene lately in our home around 6pm. Kins and Ryan are both going through a nap boycott, and while Ryan's is probably a signal that he's legitimately done, Kinsley still has a solid year or so to go. Also, this dress, guys. I cannot snatch it away long enough to wash it even most of the time, but she wants to wear it ALL the time. I did get her another one for her birthday in early August, but man.
I think my favorite day right now is Tuesday. I am LOVING these dates. Ryan desperately wanted to share a cinnamon roll with me on our date at the local eatery, but I didn't call the day before to have them ready, and they hadn't made any for the display that day, so I feverishly threw together the dough over my lunch break, and then Ryan and I whipped these puppies up during our date. It is so fun to see these guys' personalities come out. Best. Dates. Ever.
Everywhere she goes, I'm tellin' ya!
It was SO fun having family gathered together for dinner! Mark's aunt and uncle were in town from Oklahoma, so we invited them up for dinner one night.
It was so nice to catch up ♥
After I picked Cashel up from camp, we had a couple hours before we had to get the other kids, so for the first time in a decade, we went to the pool, and I got to be ME at the pool, not holding babies and screaming, squigly toddlers who want to "do it myself" in the big pool without life jackets. I got to lay out in the sun for an hour! By. Myself. Man, was it ever nice!
I feel like I shouldn't jinx this by talking about it, but here we are! This NEVER happens, guys. NEVER. So it was fun to see when I walked into the kitchen one afternoon.
Miss Kins and Ryan "Chararles" have been really into drinking my coffee in the mornings lol I only allow it on the weekends, but I won't hate it if they grow to love coffee!
Give this kid an adult coloring book and some Paper Mate Flair markers, and he's on board! He and Kendrick are definitely my colorers. They're so good!
This was so hard. For Mark's 41st birthday, I really wanted to get him something special, but he doesn't really need things at this point. It has been hands' down his very favorite thing in the world to look at the photo books I have made throughout the year, but they're all in chunks, so it's a year at a time. I decided this year for his birthday, I was going to write him a love letter in book format. It started off easy enough a few months ago, but when I got down to the crunch and had to get it ordered, it left me pretty depressed for a while. I don't often like to remind myself of how good our life was before FTD. I honestly don't know how to even handle it, if I'm being honest with ya. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that one day life will be good. Heck, right now, life is pretty good aside from things with Mark. But it's depressing to see all we've lost. To relive all the trips and all the babies being born and all of our memories before kids, THAT was really hard. But I wanted him to have this book, to remind him that he is a good man. I wanted him to have it to remind him that he has gone above and beyond to provide for his family. To remind him that we know he loves us and that we love him immensely. It will arrive on Friday, and I can't wait for him to get it!
Weekend vibes ;)
People tell me she looks just like me, and honestly, it has helped me love myself a little more. If she looks like me, and I think she's stunningly beautiful, then why do I feel differently about myself? #FoodForThought
I'm trying really hard to loosen the reigns and stop stressing about meals these days. This particular weekend I think we had PBandJ (and for Kendrick, that means just the J because he is allergic to nuts of all sorts, and he hates sunbutter and the like) sandwiches for 3 meals. They were so perfectly content with that. I need to simplify.
So, so many memories walking these trails with the family. I still enjoy it, and it has yet to become a trigger place. I really hope it never does, because it's just my favorite.
I am in SO much trouble with this guy. He has the flirtiest eyes and giggle, and he flat out knows that he's adorable.
I cannot even handle the cute here. She'll be three in August.
The kids' daycare was closed for a few days at the end of the month, so I found backup, which just so happened to be their old daycare provider. They were THRILLED to get to spend time with her, and hardly wanted to go home at the end of the day.
Found a new dairy-free creamer at HyVee. It's...okay. I struggle with the separation, which I know is normal, but I think I'll stick to my regular one.
