A pretty typical Saturday morning in our house. Someone is always trying to play with water, someone always wants to do whatever I'm already trying to do and cause it to take 20 times as long (grinding coffee in this instance), and the other two are nowhere to be found until breakfast is wrong lol Oh, and always a sink full of dishes, because Friday nights are not for staying up late to clean.
My favorite perfume these days.
Winter months are for Smule-ing! I always enjoy singing with Alex Cowsert
I know Smule is international and all, but I get a TON of these types of messages on Smule all.the.time. It's kinda funny to see who they're trying to impersonate so far. The other day I had another one from Callum Scott lol
The story of my life, no? lol
I struggle SO MUCH to get through any books these days. When the little two are awake, they're either making giant messes, or they're climbing all over me. There really isn't much downtime in between.
If she's doing ANYTHING, she wants my undivided attention. If I'm even not paying attention for 4 seconds, she's on my case.
I am SO proud of myself this month. I had really over-spent in December, and considering I hadn't had to budget for probably the past 15 years, it didn't hit me until I suddenly came upon the new year realizing that I literally have to live on just my paycheck and the kids' SSDI payments (which don't even cover daycare costs, much less living expenses for the kids and I). So...I challenged myself to not spend any money on any clothing or unnecessary personal items for the entire month of January. I also made a point to use stuff up in my deep freezer and declutter. I cut my expenses by about half for the month, and am going to really try to cut back going forward as well so I can really build up my savings again. Still, it was tough to turn down this really cute tunic top.
I love it when she actually just lays there and doesn't "cuddle" WWE style.
I've mentioned a time or two that I'm kinda aiming for a dairy-free lifestyle for myself, but it has taken quite some time to reach that point. I'm horribly bloated and gassy when I indulge in dairy, but finding a good DF cheese has been really hard. I found this at the HyVee in Worthington and am in LOVE! I could easily eat 2-3 slices easily just on their own. Any other DF cheese, I've felt like I have to only have it on sandwiches, and I'm never that excited to put it on there either.
Ryan is super into being "sneaky" these days. I couldn't find him for a while, and coudln't figure out where he'd gone. Exhibit A:
I am still just amazed at the continual definition in my arms and shoulders these days!
The memes from 2021 had me chuckling for quite some time this year. It sure has been an interesting past few years, watching both sides go to battle - a bit of a train wreck coming from all angles. I've mostly just sat back with some popcorn to observe, which has been super easy with Cashel's new...
...popcorn machine!
I adore getting pictures of the kids from daycare so much!
It may have taken 2 aides and some really great effort on my part to get a smile so big from this guy, but I love it!
I so enjoy my solo visits to see Mark. We play dominoes a lot (albeit, not correctly - we just put tiles down next to each other and cover the table), and otherwise, just walk the hallways or else go back and sit in his room and he listens to me talk at him or to the 1:1 aide.
I also thoroughly enjoy the sushi lunches I get to have when I'm on my own. The kids always pick different stuff.
I'm slowly kissing these babies goodbye, trading up for 20lbers. I still need the 15s for my flies and punches, but beyond that, 15 is getting too easy for the rest.
On a quick trip to the store, I realized that we'd had a really gorgeous Rime frost, so we had to stop at our favorite park to check it out.
It was absolutely gorgeous!
Homegirl does NOT like to be told "no", and she also very much likes to help with meals.
We sure enjoyed finally getting to celebrate Christmas with Mark's Dad, Pam and Jess!
Every once in a while, I actually get enough sleep and wake up looking perky and not half bad on a Sunday morning lol
I love it when she actually wears the pretty dresses in her closet!
We tried a couple Sundays sitting in the library instead of up in the balcony, which always leaves me wanting to pull all my hair out. It worked...better, but was still a lot of not sitting still and just...feeling frustrating for me. there's just something about the bathrooms there that my kids flock like moths to a flame, and it takes the little ones FOREVER to go and then come and actually wash their hands and dry them...always so fascinated. I'm just exhausted. We ended the month deciding on doing Sunday School, but then watching Cornerstone Kids when we got home.
I did a lot of reminiscing this month, after my baby brother and his wife had their baby girl last month. How was miss Kins ever so tiny?
Restaurants and bars FINALLY opened back up on the 12th, and you can guarantee I was out to eat with my Jill that day!
"I'm a big kid, Mom. You don't need to come with me anymore". Wha...WHAT?!?! I'll be registering him for Kindergarten in mid-March!
Now you see us, now you don't. I sometimes wonder if Mark even recognizes us with the masks and shields on.
The two big guys got to see their Daddy in December, while the little two got to see Daddy in January. He was excited to see them both, even if he didn't really express it well.
I swear my little ones interact with Mark better than any adults do.
I took Ryan in for his first well-child check, and as it turns out...
...he needed glasses! Isn't he just the cutest?
This guy got a stern talking to by the doctor, which, thank goodness, encouraged him to actually wear his glasses!
I read this one in January, and beyond the title making it a little questionable in my mind's eye, I just really wasn't a huge fan. There was a ton of language, a ton of personal stories, and just not a ton of the type of substance I had hoped for. Not necessarily bad, just not really my cup of tea, which is alright.
It got a little crazy up in here for a bit in January.
I had a nice day working from home without kiddos as a result, though, which was a nice treat!
Someone was doing this HS picture challenge on FB, and while I didn't exactly participate, I did go back and scrounge through my pictures, and came up with this one lol
Quite a far cry from this gem from 5th grade, no? lol
My snow crew! I'm going to get to stop supervising before too long.
I had to run out and kindly ask our neighbor to stop after clearing the end of our driveway, because this guy throws an absolute FIT if he doesn't get to blow the snow lol
My little sleeping beauty!
My biggest kiddo turned NINE this month!
We sure enjoyed celebrating with him, even if it was just us. On a side note, have I mentioned yet that Kendrick is kinda into fire? I'm very much hoping that he does not take after his Daddy in curiosity!
Keeping it real...this is probably the first birthday in a VERY long time where no one was crying or angry in a birthday picture...ever. I swear in most birthday pictures, I'm yelling at someone to stop ruining the moment, and to stop being so whiny and to just celebrate the birthday boy or girl. I literally walked over and we snapped a nice set of pictures, and then we were just...done!
He's such a little turkey lol
I see no need for utensils, do you?
I get about one simultaneous nap for these two every three weekends. It was glorious!
I snatched this from a friend's IG feed and really want to print it out and laminate it and keep it in my bathroom, kitchen, desk at work, and bedroom night stand. Very good reminders that it's not nearly as difficult as we make it out to be to slowly pull ourselves out of the down days.
They were SO EXCITED about their new glasses!
Well hello, there ;)
As we slowly approach the time when Mark won't be in the next chapter of our lives, it's hard to envision. I'll admit that I'm excited to start the next chapter, whatever that entails. I've done so much work over the past three years of therapy to process my loss. I've done so much hard, hard work to really embrace what has happened, and I've spent so many tears and sob sessions sitting in my car, or in the bathroom, or in the kitchen stirring spaghetti sauce. I've dealt with some seriously dark days. I know it's not over: It never will be. But those days are lesser and lesser and lesser these days. I have no clue what's next for my little family, but we're finally over the hard work of the constant change and unknowns and fears, and at this point, the future contains a lot more hope than we've felt over the past four or five years, and that feels good. I just hate that Mark won't get to see these days.
Kinsley and Ryan did SUCH a great job keeping their masks and shields on for their visits to see Daddy. I was worried they might not make it longer than about 5 minutes, and while Kinsley had some emotional acceptance moments, where I had to put the dang mask back on about 10 times, Ryan didn't have any issues whatsoever, and we were able to stay for an entire hour for each of them!
I love watching the little ones with Mark so much. They're so easy-going, and they don't really "get" that this is super sad. They are just their normal, bubbly, silly selves, and they are super excited to go walking with Daddy. The aides tend to redirect Mark when he gets near the dining room by asking him to go walk and touch the waterfall. Kinsley and Ryan were super excited to go touch the waterfall with Daddy.
I'm gonna be honest, my girl mom friends: I'm kinda disappointed that you didn't give me fair warning about allowing this little lady to enter Claire's. Oh holy mylanta, it was probably the most epic tantrum I've EVER seen the likes of in all my years as a parent! I'm glad she wasn't my first kid lol NEVER again will I go past this store with her.
Thankfully, it was lunch time, and lunch time for this little lady made ALL the things alright.
It has been a LONG time since I've gotten myself some new gym shoes. Probably 5 years? It's so nice to have a new pair, even if breaking them in is taking a tinge longer than I care for.
We're a solid bunch of weirdos around here lol
A nice DF protein shake for my mornings! I was really pleased with this one, and am adding it to my subscribe and save for sure!
The reason I lift like I do lol
I wish they'd play games like this with me more often. It NEVER goes well, nor does it last very long. EVeryone has an opinion, and no one wants to do what anyone else wants to do, or play what anyone else wants to play.
Apparently this is nine.
The benefit of having engineered hardwood as well as an open space upstairs through the living room and kitchen is that in the winter, small bikes can make their rounds. Miss Kins was SUPER exicted to finally be a "big girl" and ride her "big girl" bike. This spring should be interesting...
It isn't often that my bigger kids express a desire to want to crawl up in my lap, so I fully welcomed when Kendrick did this particular day. Three quarters of the kiddos all in one teeny chair. When I replace my furniture, you can bet that another cuddle recliner will be part of the equation lol
I saw this meme on a single parenting FB group I'm part of, and am still laughing a week later lol My kids aren't picky about onions, but this is definitely a conversation we might have.
Her giggles and smiles, even though she's the most aggressive cuddler I've ever met, bring me so much joy :)
Rolling out some cutout cookies. My sister taught me this trick so the cookies wouldn't be so tough: Just put the dough between parchment paper first, and then it doesn't stick.
Probably not going to go with this recipe again lol They were tasty, but completely lost their shape. Maybe it's because I didn't roll them out and add more flour? Hmmm...something I hadn't though of.
I love it on the weekends when I get to snuggle up with my little ones to watch a movie and they succumb to naps. This kid is growing in so many areas of life - confidence, size, maturity and so much more! He is just fully embracing life, and it's so good to see that! Still, I'm trying to hold on to what's left of his baby face, because I've already seen what happens when they get into elementary school.
My favorite perfume these days.
Winter months are for Smule-ing! I always enjoy singing with Alex Cowsert
I know Smule is international and all, but I get a TON of these types of messages on Smule all.the.time. It's kinda funny to see who they're trying to impersonate so far. The other day I had another one from Callum Scott lol
The story of my life, no? lol
I struggle SO MUCH to get through any books these days. When the little two are awake, they're either making giant messes, or they're climbing all over me. There really isn't much downtime in between.
If she's doing ANYTHING, she wants my undivided attention. If I'm even not paying attention for 4 seconds, she's on my case.
I am SO proud of myself this month. I had really over-spent in December, and considering I hadn't had to budget for probably the past 15 years, it didn't hit me until I suddenly came upon the new year realizing that I literally have to live on just my paycheck and the kids' SSDI payments (which don't even cover daycare costs, much less living expenses for the kids and I). So...I challenged myself to not spend any money on any clothing or unnecessary personal items for the entire month of January. I also made a point to use stuff up in my deep freezer and declutter. I cut my expenses by about half for the month, and am going to really try to cut back going forward as well so I can really build up my savings again. Still, it was tough to turn down this really cute tunic top.
I love it when she actually just lays there and doesn't "cuddle" WWE style.
I've mentioned a time or two that I'm kinda aiming for a dairy-free lifestyle for myself, but it has taken quite some time to reach that point. I'm horribly bloated and gassy when I indulge in dairy, but finding a good DF cheese has been really hard. I found this at the HyVee in Worthington and am in LOVE! I could easily eat 2-3 slices easily just on their own. Any other DF cheese, I've felt like I have to only have it on sandwiches, and I'm never that excited to put it on there either.
Ryan is super into being "sneaky" these days. I couldn't find him for a while, and coudln't figure out where he'd gone. Exhibit A:
I am still just amazed at the continual definition in my arms and shoulders these days!
The memes from 2021 had me chuckling for quite some time this year. It sure has been an interesting past few years, watching both sides go to battle - a bit of a train wreck coming from all angles. I've mostly just sat back with some popcorn to observe, which has been super easy with Cashel's new...
...popcorn machine!
I adore getting pictures of the kids from daycare so much!
It may have taken 2 aides and some really great effort on my part to get a smile so big from this guy, but I love it!
I so enjoy my solo visits to see Mark. We play dominoes a lot (albeit, not correctly - we just put tiles down next to each other and cover the table), and otherwise, just walk the hallways or else go back and sit in his room and he listens to me talk at him or to the 1:1 aide.
I also thoroughly enjoy the sushi lunches I get to have when I'm on my own. The kids always pick different stuff.
I'm slowly kissing these babies goodbye, trading up for 20lbers. I still need the 15s for my flies and punches, but beyond that, 15 is getting too easy for the rest.
On a quick trip to the store, I realized that we'd had a really gorgeous Rime frost, so we had to stop at our favorite park to check it out.
It was absolutely gorgeous!
Homegirl does NOT like to be told "no", and she also very much likes to help with meals.
We sure enjoyed finally getting to celebrate Christmas with Mark's Dad, Pam and Jess!
Every once in a while, I actually get enough sleep and wake up looking perky and not half bad on a Sunday morning lol
I love it when she actually wears the pretty dresses in her closet!
We tried a couple Sundays sitting in the library instead of up in the balcony, which always leaves me wanting to pull all my hair out. It worked...better, but was still a lot of not sitting still and just...feeling frustrating for me. there's just something about the bathrooms there that my kids flock like moths to a flame, and it takes the little ones FOREVER to go and then come and actually wash their hands and dry them...always so fascinated. I'm just exhausted. We ended the month deciding on doing Sunday School, but then watching Cornerstone Kids when we got home.
I did a lot of reminiscing this month, after my baby brother and his wife had their baby girl last month. How was miss Kins ever so tiny?
Restaurants and bars FINALLY opened back up on the 12th, and you can guarantee I was out to eat with my Jill that day!
"I'm a big kid, Mom. You don't need to come with me anymore". Wha...WHAT?!?! I'll be registering him for Kindergarten in mid-March!
Now you see us, now you don't. I sometimes wonder if Mark even recognizes us with the masks and shields on.
The two big guys got to see their Daddy in December, while the little two got to see Daddy in January. He was excited to see them both, even if he didn't really express it well.
I swear my little ones interact with Mark better than any adults do.
I took Ryan in for his first well-child check, and as it turns out...
...he needed glasses! Isn't he just the cutest?
This guy got a stern talking to by the doctor, which, thank goodness, encouraged him to actually wear his glasses!
I read this one in January, and beyond the title making it a little questionable in my mind's eye, I just really wasn't a huge fan. There was a ton of language, a ton of personal stories, and just not a ton of the type of substance I had hoped for. Not necessarily bad, just not really my cup of tea, which is alright.
It got a little crazy up in here for a bit in January.
I had a nice day working from home without kiddos as a result, though, which was a nice treat!
Someone was doing this HS picture challenge on FB, and while I didn't exactly participate, I did go back and scrounge through my pictures, and came up with this one lol
Quite a far cry from this gem from 5th grade, no? lol
My snow crew! I'm going to get to stop supervising before too long.
I had to run out and kindly ask our neighbor to stop after clearing the end of our driveway, because this guy throws an absolute FIT if he doesn't get to blow the snow lol
My little sleeping beauty!
My biggest kiddo turned NINE this month!
We sure enjoyed celebrating with him, even if it was just us. On a side note, have I mentioned yet that Kendrick is kinda into fire? I'm very much hoping that he does not take after his Daddy in curiosity!
Keeping it real...this is probably the first birthday in a VERY long time where no one was crying or angry in a birthday picture...ever. I swear in most birthday pictures, I'm yelling at someone to stop ruining the moment, and to stop being so whiny and to just celebrate the birthday boy or girl. I literally walked over and we snapped a nice set of pictures, and then we were just...done!
He's such a little turkey lol
I see no need for utensils, do you?
I get about one simultaneous nap for these two every three weekends. It was glorious!
I snatched this from a friend's IG feed and really want to print it out and laminate it and keep it in my bathroom, kitchen, desk at work, and bedroom night stand. Very good reminders that it's not nearly as difficult as we make it out to be to slowly pull ourselves out of the down days.
They were SO EXCITED about their new glasses!
Well hello, there ;)
As we slowly approach the time when Mark won't be in the next chapter of our lives, it's hard to envision. I'll admit that I'm excited to start the next chapter, whatever that entails. I've done so much work over the past three years of therapy to process my loss. I've done so much hard, hard work to really embrace what has happened, and I've spent so many tears and sob sessions sitting in my car, or in the bathroom, or in the kitchen stirring spaghetti sauce. I've dealt with some seriously dark days. I know it's not over: It never will be. But those days are lesser and lesser and lesser these days. I have no clue what's next for my little family, but we're finally over the hard work of the constant change and unknowns and fears, and at this point, the future contains a lot more hope than we've felt over the past four or five years, and that feels good. I just hate that Mark won't get to see these days.
Kinsley and Ryan did SUCH a great job keeping their masks and shields on for their visits to see Daddy. I was worried they might not make it longer than about 5 minutes, and while Kinsley had some emotional acceptance moments, where I had to put the dang mask back on about 10 times, Ryan didn't have any issues whatsoever, and we were able to stay for an entire hour for each of them!
I love watching the little ones with Mark so much. They're so easy-going, and they don't really "get" that this is super sad. They are just their normal, bubbly, silly selves, and they are super excited to go walking with Daddy. The aides tend to redirect Mark when he gets near the dining room by asking him to go walk and touch the waterfall. Kinsley and Ryan were super excited to go touch the waterfall with Daddy.
I'm gonna be honest, my girl mom friends: I'm kinda disappointed that you didn't give me fair warning about allowing this little lady to enter Claire's. Oh holy mylanta, it was probably the most epic tantrum I've EVER seen the likes of in all my years as a parent! I'm glad she wasn't my first kid lol NEVER again will I go past this store with her.
Thankfully, it was lunch time, and lunch time for this little lady made ALL the things alright.
It has been a LONG time since I've gotten myself some new gym shoes. Probably 5 years? It's so nice to have a new pair, even if breaking them in is taking a tinge longer than I care for.
We're a solid bunch of weirdos around here lol
A nice DF protein shake for my mornings! I was really pleased with this one, and am adding it to my subscribe and save for sure!
The reason I lift like I do lol
I wish they'd play games like this with me more often. It NEVER goes well, nor does it last very long. EVeryone has an opinion, and no one wants to do what anyone else wants to do, or play what anyone else wants to play.
Apparently this is nine.
The benefit of having engineered hardwood as well as an open space upstairs through the living room and kitchen is that in the winter, small bikes can make their rounds. Miss Kins was SUPER exicted to finally be a "big girl" and ride her "big girl" bike. This spring should be interesting...
It isn't often that my bigger kids express a desire to want to crawl up in my lap, so I fully welcomed when Kendrick did this particular day. Three quarters of the kiddos all in one teeny chair. When I replace my furniture, you can bet that another cuddle recliner will be part of the equation lol
I saw this meme on a single parenting FB group I'm part of, and am still laughing a week later lol My kids aren't picky about onions, but this is definitely a conversation we might have.
Her giggles and smiles, even though she's the most aggressive cuddler I've ever met, bring me so much joy :)
Rolling out some cutout cookies. My sister taught me this trick so the cookies wouldn't be so tough: Just put the dough between parchment paper first, and then it doesn't stick.
Probably not going to go with this recipe again lol They were tasty, but completely lost their shape. Maybe it's because I didn't roll them out and add more flour? Hmmm...something I hadn't though of.
I love it on the weekends when I get to snuggle up with my little ones to watch a movie and they succumb to naps. This kid is growing in so many areas of life - confidence, size, maturity and so much more! He is just fully embracing life, and it's so good to see that! Still, I'm trying to hold on to what's left of his baby face, because I've already seen what happens when they get into elementary school.
