Okay, I feel like I'm losing my ever loving mind with these blow up pools. What am I doing wrong?? I've either yet to blow one up that doesn't already have holes, or I'm somehow creating them while blowing them up, because they're always flat within a few hours, and it's maddening! Any suggestions would be great! This has happened 5 of the last 7 years.
I still just cannot get enough of these two. They're just so cute together ♥
Finally, a start to the final reno project of (hopefully) 2020.
I'm losing my mind with how fast she's growing, guys. It's not okay!
Well, another "chair" (loveseat this time) bit the dust for Mark. This time, it wasn't broken, but just so saturated with...well...you know...that it was unsanitary :( It breaks my heart that we're at this place, but as I was already in Mankato picking up construction materials, I found this chair to hold him over until the new chairs arrived. This time, we had them wrapped in chux pads and I have a water resistant cover over both of them.
This is EXACTLY why I wanted to have a mirror in the entryway! I didn't notice in my upstairs mirrors that there were so many "lines" that you could see through with this shirt: By my bra, and then down where my pants are. It's good to see that before I'm at work in the bathroom lol
I sent Mark this pillow to be able to snuggle when he's missing me. We miss him so much!
So...I put Messenger Kids on the kids' tablets (if your kids have it and want to add them, feel free!). They've enjoyed calling me to chat lol
Progress!!!
I ordered a pile of these from Mixtiles off a FB ad, and I'm anxious to get them in mid-July. It wasn't cheap, but I figure spreading them throughout the house and at Mark's, it'd be great!
I came across the cover photo of a teeny Cashel from just shortly after Kendrick was born in 2013. So much love for this sweet little kiddo, who is way more like a man these days. #CueTheTears
If you happen to find me at the vending machine at work, I am 100% of the time getting these. I only get them a time or two a week, but I've tried buying a box of them, and then I eat 2 packs a day, so I figure this is safer for my diet haha
This guy makes me smile every day! He also makes me want to pull my hair out, so there's that!
I'm still adjusting to the use of filters lol I am pretty sure I didn't look this hot that day, but I DO love my friend "Jeeeeeeeeel"
My favorite brand of coffee makes for a pretty great start of the day!
I'm glad I've been (mostly) doing my boys' haircuts most of their lives. It made this whole no haircuts during pandemic thing not so bad.
I'm learning things like...you have to actually put oil on the blades before a cut so that it doesn't pull. The boys used to SCREAM during a haircut. It also really helps to do them outside so the birdies can have some nest fodder with whatever doesn't make it into the garbage.
These two are on their Mama constantly these days. I was SO ready for another slowdown that happened at the end of the month (I'll get to that later) so I could just snuggle them without being home and focusing on all the stuff I had to get done.
So I totally botched this, my favorite summer sandwich :( The kids wouldn't even eat the pineapple, since I had charred it, and the teriyaki chicken was so gross and dry. I need to try it again. The pineapple really gives me heartburn, but like tomatoes, there are times that it's worth the pain.
Also occasionally worth the pain (very sensitive to dairy).
Seriously. This was something like 2 hours after blowing it up.
SO glad I stained the deck at the end of May! I love to see the water bead up like that and not be soaking into the wood!
Okay, so first of all, I have certain pics of myself and my kids that I do really want to blow up and put on their walls someday. I know eaxctly which ones they are for the other kids, but I didn't have one that just stuck out of myself and Kins. This is most definitely it!
Also, I'm going to be honest and say I've always hated oranges. Then I realized WHY I hated oranges...because I completely forgot that you can just CUT them, and not PEEL them. I hated them because peeling was so tedious. So...bring on the oranges this summer!
How I feel about listening to the kids fight over the hose while filling the pool.
Seriously...so much weeping and gnashing of teeth here.
SOOOO many band aids around here lately. I remember Shay from The Mix and Match Mama blogging once about how they were a staple item when she packed for a trip, and it dawned on me that I don't carry them on me or in my vehicle at all, beyond the first aid kid I keep in there. I mean, 99% of the "injuries" are a stubbed toe that magically feels better with a band aid, or a "teeny" scratch that isn't even actively bleeding.
I'm finally getting around to getting my outside fridge cleaned up and prepped as a beverage fridge. It sat all last summer, and upon opening it, was full of gross damp mold, so this year, I aired it out, bleached it and washed out all the bins. Now let's see how well I can keep it stocked with water and sports drinks and juice for the kids?
This guy doesn't let me take his picture often these days, but I just adore this one of him. He is so happy most of the time these days, even if he still does have little fits of rage, it's not nearly as frequent.
A new kind of flower for Mama. I remember as kid, we used to pick off the little petals (or whatever they're called) and suck the juice out of the bottom of them on the playground.
So for tablet time, I used to make the kids go to their room so I could just plop down and have some peace and quiet. One day I was doing laundry and realized that they were all sitting close together and playing together. It was so annoyingly loud, but it made me smile. I asked them why they weren't in their rooms, and Kendrick piped in and said, "because we like to be by each other, Mom". I gave up on that "rule" after that. If they want to be together, by all means!
Against my better judgement, I gave the kids (mainly Kendrick) another chance at a bonfire. This time, the experience was SO much better! I think a big part of it was that I bought firewood at the store and had very little kindling left, so Kendrick wasn't tempted to play around with it nearly as much. Hallelujah! Kinsley, however, was terrified of the s'mores lol Reminds me of when she was terrified of pumpkins a couple years ago.
It was a HUGE hit for the kids! Also to be noted...Ryan is the one who likes to catch them on fire and then blow them out repeatedly. Kinsley won't touch a roasting stick, but likes to observe. Kendrick likes his very lightly brown, hardly even soft. Cashel likes to burn them and blow them out, but refuses to eat them that way. He likes his a medium brown.
This was one of those moments where it just really hit me how far we've come. These guys are TIGHT. They may fight sometimes, but man are they close. This was what Mark and I had aimed for when we had them close, and I'm getting to the point where I am so glad we did. The baby and toddler years are SO HARD, especially with Mark's progression going on, but I'm coming to this point where they're really just funny, so sweet, can do almost everything themselves, and I don't have to carry them everywhere. It still breaks my heart that Mark doesn't get to experience this. I miss him so tremendously much. Aside from the very obvious reasons (him not suffering anymore), I think part of me is looking forward to the time where he can look down on us from heaven and be able to see that we're okay. Pictures and video chats aren't enough to see their faces when they see something exciting, or to hear them giggle, or to see them interact with each other. To be able to see how far we've come. To be able to see that these children, as exhausting as they were in those early years, are worth all the hard work we put into raising them. I've got a LONG ways to go with this parenting thing - many friends with older kids remind me that the hardest parts are still to come, but in this moment, my heart was just so, so full.
Queen Elsa was ready for our first drive-in church service!
It was so nice to actually get dressed up and go to church, even if we just sat in our car. To be able to see our church family was so great
Mark would have LOVED this! I sent him the picture through the activities coordinator at his facility.
This pretty much sums up how this little lady feels about the jet ski. She was by FAR the most adventurous out on the water, even letting me get up to 30kmph, and was laughing and giggling the whole time. Kendrick, on the other hand, completely flipped out if we went over 10kmph.
I think my favorite is Sunday afternoon tablet time. The kids have usually had a busy morning, they're worn out, and they're ready to just snuggle.
Feels like summer! I forget that when I'm not at work, I can sport shorts! I need to pull them out and find the ones that fit me. Also, the entryway is so close to being done! I still have to adhere the fabric to the bulletin boards, but you can see what I selected behind me in this picture! I finished the trim in the middle of the month, and I am just LOVING this new entryway!!
Evidence that our home is lived in, and an entryway reno doesn't resolve all the clutter. It just gives me a place to put it all when it's clean up time!
These guys love their Uncle Daniel! He came out to go jet skiing and help with the kids before he left to go back to California for a while.
Ryan and Kinsley were the most gutsy when it came to jet skiing. These kids had FUN! It was really choppy on account of being so windy, but they weren't wanting me to slow down at any point.
Sometimes I think the kids and I forget that this dark place we've been for so long isn't forever. We're reminded by friends and family of that often, but it doesn't always really sink in. It was so good to see them smile :)
His new chairs finally arrived (they hadn't set the other one up just yet). Also, although he had a hiatus for a while, I've noticed that he is constantly looking at photo books these days again. Whenever we're video chatting, he's looking at them, and when I peek in on him on the surveillance camera, he's looking through them too. It still just warms my heart to see it. For him to know that he's loved.
First haircut since early February!!!
How I feel by the end of most days. I know it WILL wind down as time goes on, but it's so exhausting right now balancing all the things.
Mark somehow broke the side pieces of his glasses this month, beyond repair. So...I was able to convince the optometrist to order him some new ones even though he should have had to come in for a visit. We'll see how they're fitting, but I didn't really have anything to go off. The last time he had ordered glasses was before he lived in Windom (contacts since then), so they didn't have any record of what he had ordered, nor do I know where he went before Windom.
I ordered this lightweight sweater off Zulily on a whim, and I LOVE it! It's far beyond cozy, and super flattering! I want to get more, but they've been sold out of them in any color other than black for a while now. I do keep checking, though, because I have a feeling it's goign to be my staple this winter.
This is the first time I have seen him smile in quite some time! Cue the waterworks! I know he's not Mark, the man I married, but he's Mark, this guy who I still absolutely would rope the moon for. I still just love him to pieces ♥
My feet have been out of this world awful with almost 4 months since my last pedicure. With it being summer, I find myself walking around outside without shoes and socks far too often. It was time for some TLC!
There was a huge emphasis on 5S (a lean term standing for Sort, Set in Order, Shine, Standardize, Sustain) a while back at work. (Technically, 6S, as at work, we added Safety). We had one particular employee who was pretty anal about how far he went with labeling things. This was our way to join in the fun. I just found it the other day and it made me giggle.
Back at it, and after two days, I was SO far beyond sore. So sore that I could hardly walk even!
Cashel brought me in one of my peony blooms and I am in love! Goodness do I love these flowers!
All the heart eyes for this one! I do NOT know how they got him to smile like this, but it absolutely made my day!
I mean...
So apparently we now have a little biker gang. It was so cute - they all insisted on taking their backpacks stuffed with their savings and their stuffed animals. It made me giggle so much!
This guy doesn't come up in a whole lot of pictures these days. To be honest, he just kinda likes to do his own thing, and while he's a social kid, he really cherishes his quiet time by himself. (Like his Mama much?) This month, though, he really started engaging with us as a family more, and I love it! He also rekindled his passion for his "friends" Creepy and Snowball ♥
Kendrick is a literal little monkey these days! He wanted me to take about 75 pictures of him climbing the pole lol
We stumbled across the farmers' market (with all of 2 vendors), and Cashel insisted on spending some of his money on some honey. It was so cute to see him take this whole thing into his own hands.
The kids were beyond parched, so we made our way down to River City Eatery and grabbed some ice cold lemonade. I looked at the appetizer menu and realized it was a little heavy for them, so we opted to order chips and pickles for everyone! These kinds of memories are the best! And hooray for outdoor seating!!
The backpack crew had some serious frog finding stuff going on.
My friend Chad and I were lamenting the other day about how annoying it is (and inevitable) that the toddler/preschoolers always end up making us carry them and/or their bikes if we take a long walk. See, this is why I opted for the glider bike versus his one with training wheels. And I'm going to take a stroller even with no one in it down the road just for hauling bikes back up the hill lol
The tides have changed lol She was pretty adamant about cleaning my face.
When it's kiddie pool time, Mama gets a break! I've been working my way through this book for a couple months now. It's good, and it has a lot of little nuggets of wisdom in there, but it's just not easy to find straight chunks of time to crush more than a chapter at a time.
That one time the pool stayed inflated the entire time they used it!
Salted Cucumbers and Watermelon may just be my latest summer favorite!
Oh a whim, I decided to take the kids down to Spirit Lake to the outdoor movies. In recap, I don't think I'd do it again, at least not until they're much older. It was WAY too late getting home, no one fell asleep, it was a disaster to clean up, no one was happy with any of the things I got at the concession stand, leaving the older kids at the car while taking Ryan to the bathroom about undid me...just not the right timing. Maybe one day.
Guys...she lost the race. These were some rough times.
My first taste of Tavis's t-bones, and let's just say Cashel and I know how good they were. I don't know what's wrong with my other kids that they wouldn't even try it. We're not going to talk about how there were no leftovers.
My first time ever making my Mom's potato salad recipe. I've been such a huge fan of Mrs. Gerry's original potato salad for so long that I just never attempted making my own (not since the not-quite-all-the-way-cooked potato salad incident circa summer 2006 - still makes me giggle, Jamie and Heather). I didn't have pickle relish (only onion relish), so I think that's what made it a little off, but I still loved it! Kenrick was holding his nose saying, "Oh my gosh, mom - that smells so bad" lol Apparently he doesn't enjoy the smell of the sauce that goes into it, which makes me wonder if he's my child. It was delicious, just slightly off from what my Mom made.
Okay, I need some help here in this room. It's Cashel's. He insisted on this red colored rug. I HATE it, but very long story short, it ended up being free (it's a $200 rug). But I HATE it. It's oversized for the room, but he LOVES it. So...the wall color, I think, is what's ruining it for me. What do I do? How can I make this not want to make me stab my eye out when I see it? I know the combination of it with the floor color is part of the problem, but that can't change, so I need new options.
My sweet friend Becky was in the area for her Dad's funeral, so she stopped by for the afternoon and we got a chance to visit.
Felt cute ;)
Ryan and Kinsley have been pretty darn clingy lately, which has been hard. I know they need more Mama time, but man - I have been stretched SO thin. And then when I am just about finished with stuff and ready to snuggle them, they make a mess to get attention that takes me even more time to help them clean up. As things are beginning to settle with all the changes we've had recently with childcare and home improvement and such, I finally have a little time to focus on these guys, which I'm loving! I picked Ryan up early from daycare this day and we had a cookie and park date out by the lake. He was GIDDY. I can't wait to get started doing this with ALL the kids!
One of the perks of their daycare provider dating one of their Phy Ed teacher is that they are now trying to impress him with all their physical activity lol So...they asked me if they could run home from the park. It's almost a mile, guys. It wasn't cool out, but I told them sure, but I'd be following along beside them in the car. I cannot even envision how cool it would be if they started to take up running! I've been wanting to get back into it, but then FTD hit and then I hurt my hip flexor, and then COVID-19 hit, and well...motivation is now in play if my kids would actually run WITH me!
I was in a little fender bender on the 16th :( I'm tired of talking about it, but everyone is fine, the fender was able to be snapped back on (although needs to still be replaced, as a lot was damaged).
It's weird, being in an accident and not being injured. I hadn't been in one before that I can ever recall, certainly not one in which an ambulance was necessary, but it's like, they get done asking you questions (while the other guy was being prepped for an ambulance) and then they just...they're like "alright then - thanks!" And then everyone just leaves. And you stand there like, "Ummm...what am I supposed to do next?" I ended up grabbing my fender and the broken off pieces and putting them in the back of the Palisade and just drove home, after filing my claim, of course. It just...it's weird. I feel like there should be more to do.
After 20 minutes at DeFries Collision Center, she at least looked mostly back to normal.
On the upside, I came home to my bathroom floor installed, and with the tile about halfway done, it's really starting to come together!
The evening before the flooring was to be installed, I had this epiphony (at 9pm, no less) that if I wanted to paint, NOW would be a great time to do so, as the vanity and toilet were already removed and the walls were clear. I ripped out the old border (which was a piece of cake), and then painted quickly, and it looked SO NICE! Two days later, I put up the new trim, both in the bathroom upstairs and the entryway (doing the lower level bathroom a few days later) which I also just absolutely LOVED!
It's kinda fun to have power tools and know how to use them! Mark and I flipped a house down in Worthington back in 2007 (hallelujah for no more student loans as a result!), so he had gotten some of these to do the jobs himself. Watching him, I knew how to use them, so mitre saw and air compressor and trim gun...check, check, check!
These are dangerous to have around. I can eat an entire box, no problem, in a handful of minutes.
I ate a LOT of sushi in my car in June compared to a "normal" month. This is my favorite roll: The crunchy roll from Tokyo Sushi and Hibachi in Mankato. I was there a handful of times, mostly to get more supplies for the home renovations.
I spent a LOT of time masked and shopping at Menards this month. From emergency runs to get more tile for the bathrooms (I had told my designer I only wanted to go up 5 feet, but decided when they started working on it to go to the ceiling instead, so we didn't have enough) to trim to waterproofing membrane to other random stuff, I took 3 trips for that stuff, and an additional trip to pick up our new garage door (which was the very last project!)
#WorthIt I'll be doing recaps if I ever get the time to sit down and focus on them and remember to take pictures of the finished product. But this is the basic gist, and I LOVE it!
For some reason, this alone just makes me giddy. Having my own little space to put my stuff, and high enough that the little ones aren't grabbing my razor finally!
I did a little update on Mark recently, but want to emphasize again what an incredible blessing Freedom Homecare has been for Mark. Their staff have been so wonderful with him, engaging, and encouraging and just so attentive and kind. If you are looking for homecare in the Mankato area, I would HIGHLY recommend them. This particular aide, I would say, has gone way over and above for Mark. They all like to do knucks with him (which has now become elbows, which is so cute to watch), and they are so great at figuring out what he still CAN do and having him do it. He likes to help water the garden in the outdoor patio and she was bouncing a ball with him while he was looking at photo books during our visit. It's just absurd to me how much he can still do when his brain is so, so gone.
After our window visit (recapped in the recent update), I took the kids to one of the trails I had discovered a few weeks prior on an afternoon off I spent in Mankato doing a little home reno shopping, where I had some spare time. This one in particular just makes you feel so small
It's hard some days to believe they're all mine. I feel like I know them all so individually that when I see them all together like this, it overwhelms me. The enormity of all we've been through, and coming out on the other side of this slowly, it's beautiful, really. It's a good reminder to me that while each day may feel like we're just surviving, in reality, we're thriving, and they're growing, and it's just...it's overwhelming. Also noted: Each of the boys has on one of Daddy's hats.
The cutest strawberry pickers I've ever seen ;)
I still can't believe it's (almost) done! I've still got to make a decision on what to do ont hat left wall, and where to put the new hand towel rack, but you better believe we've moved back in and are fully on board with using this bathroom again!
Everyone has been all "gyms are horrible places to be during this pandemic", which has worked very much to my benefit. They were given clearance to open back up, but there's hardly anyone there. Ever. I literally have the place to myself most days. The changes are basically that instead of using a wipe collectively on all the machines, you're supposed to use one wipe for each machine. You're also supposed to sanitize your hands between machines. Upon arrival, you're also supposed to sanitize your hands, then take your temp, write it down, then sanitize your hands again. I am THRILLED to be back!
This kid's eyes! ♥
Miss Kins is a hot mess to dress these days! She refuses shirts at all costs, so in an effort to not letting her run around topless in public, I've had to get creative. Apparently she DOES like dresses, so I've picked up a number of them more recently. Even then, though, she's pretty darn picky. She wanted the butterfly to be on her chest with this particular dress, so it's inside out and backwards. #PickYourBattles
Video chatting with Daddy draws a crowd. I mean, for the kids it tends to be doing "silly faces" as they call it (basically Snapchat for the portal), but I'll take it! Mark loves to see them, but they honestly don't stick around for very long most of the time without doing the silly faces or else doing a watch party on there.
Painting with Preschoolers is basically a lesson in body painting. Thankful for the little painting vests I got a handful of years ago!
I'm kinda thrilled that I'm done with big projects and can now focus on little ones. Like this closet! I had been wanting to add a half shelf at the top for a LONG time. it's perfect for housing all my photo books and leaving space underneath for storage. I'm giddy!
My favorite part of the day ♥
My Mixtiles came earlier than I had anticipated, and it made what had been an extremely stressful, exhausting day so, so, so much better. I know these pictures by heart. I know exactly where to find them on my computer and my backup storage, and they are engrained in my mind. But my kids? My family? No one else has seen many of these. To put them in our home as reminders of our past and the love in our home is so, so good for me. I had a good conversation with my dear friend Steff the other day that it's hard to remember many days that people do love us. Many, many days it doesn't feel like it. Many, many days it feels so dark. Add in the pandemic and isolation associated with that, and it's even worse. But putting the faces of those who love us on the walls is beyond therapeutic. Looking those people in the face and telling them they don't care is absurd, but I do it in my head when I don't see their faces. I've got SO many more I want to print still (this was just a bunch of ones I had posted to Instagram), but it's a good start. Sometimes I feel like I've completely forgotten that our lives were ever easier. I've forgotten that I wasn't always a single Mom with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I've forgotten what good is many days. This is a very small picture of what I've forgotten. Sometimes I just need to remember.
I absolutely love these sandals. I have horribly flat feet, so finding flat sandals that don't kill my feet (and thus back, legs, etc.) is hard.
Date #2 was with Cashel. For his date, he wanted to go to the gas station to buy all the junk food and Pokemon cards (he had money burning a hole in his pocket), and then go look for frogs and clam shells. #boymom
I still just cannot get enough of these two. They're just so cute together ♥
Finally, a start to the final reno project of (hopefully) 2020.
I'm losing my mind with how fast she's growing, guys. It's not okay!
Well, another "chair" (loveseat this time) bit the dust for Mark. This time, it wasn't broken, but just so saturated with...well...you know...that it was unsanitary :( It breaks my heart that we're at this place, but as I was already in Mankato picking up construction materials, I found this chair to hold him over until the new chairs arrived. This time, we had them wrapped in chux pads and I have a water resistant cover over both of them.
This is EXACTLY why I wanted to have a mirror in the entryway! I didn't notice in my upstairs mirrors that there were so many "lines" that you could see through with this shirt: By my bra, and then down where my pants are. It's good to see that before I'm at work in the bathroom lol
I sent Mark this pillow to be able to snuggle when he's missing me. We miss him so much!
So...I put Messenger Kids on the kids' tablets (if your kids have it and want to add them, feel free!). They've enjoyed calling me to chat lol
Progress!!!
I ordered a pile of these from Mixtiles off a FB ad, and I'm anxious to get them in mid-July. It wasn't cheap, but I figure spreading them throughout the house and at Mark's, it'd be great!
I came across the cover photo of a teeny Cashel from just shortly after Kendrick was born in 2013. So much love for this sweet little kiddo, who is way more like a man these days. #CueTheTears
If you happen to find me at the vending machine at work, I am 100% of the time getting these. I only get them a time or two a week, but I've tried buying a box of them, and then I eat 2 packs a day, so I figure this is safer for my diet haha
This guy makes me smile every day! He also makes me want to pull my hair out, so there's that!
I'm still adjusting to the use of filters lol I am pretty sure I didn't look this hot that day, but I DO love my friend "Jeeeeeeeeel"
My favorite brand of coffee makes for a pretty great start of the day!
I'm glad I've been (mostly) doing my boys' haircuts most of their lives. It made this whole no haircuts during pandemic thing not so bad.
I'm learning things like...you have to actually put oil on the blades before a cut so that it doesn't pull. The boys used to SCREAM during a haircut. It also really helps to do them outside so the birdies can have some nest fodder with whatever doesn't make it into the garbage.
These two are on their Mama constantly these days. I was SO ready for another slowdown that happened at the end of the month (I'll get to that later) so I could just snuggle them without being home and focusing on all the stuff I had to get done.
So I totally botched this, my favorite summer sandwich :( The kids wouldn't even eat the pineapple, since I had charred it, and the teriyaki chicken was so gross and dry. I need to try it again. The pineapple really gives me heartburn, but like tomatoes, there are times that it's worth the pain.
Also occasionally worth the pain (very sensitive to dairy).
Seriously. This was something like 2 hours after blowing it up.
SO glad I stained the deck at the end of May! I love to see the water bead up like that and not be soaking into the wood!
Okay, so first of all, I have certain pics of myself and my kids that I do really want to blow up and put on their walls someday. I know eaxctly which ones they are for the other kids, but I didn't have one that just stuck out of myself and Kins. This is most definitely it!
Also, I'm going to be honest and say I've always hated oranges. Then I realized WHY I hated oranges...because I completely forgot that you can just CUT them, and not PEEL them. I hated them because peeling was so tedious. So...bring on the oranges this summer!
How I feel about listening to the kids fight over the hose while filling the pool.
Seriously...so much weeping and gnashing of teeth here.
SOOOO many band aids around here lately. I remember Shay from The Mix and Match Mama blogging once about how they were a staple item when she packed for a trip, and it dawned on me that I don't carry them on me or in my vehicle at all, beyond the first aid kid I keep in there. I mean, 99% of the "injuries" are a stubbed toe that magically feels better with a band aid, or a "teeny" scratch that isn't even actively bleeding.
I'm finally getting around to getting my outside fridge cleaned up and prepped as a beverage fridge. It sat all last summer, and upon opening it, was full of gross damp mold, so this year, I aired it out, bleached it and washed out all the bins. Now let's see how well I can keep it stocked with water and sports drinks and juice for the kids?
This guy doesn't let me take his picture often these days, but I just adore this one of him. He is so happy most of the time these days, even if he still does have little fits of rage, it's not nearly as frequent.
A new kind of flower for Mama. I remember as kid, we used to pick off the little petals (or whatever they're called) and suck the juice out of the bottom of them on the playground.
So for tablet time, I used to make the kids go to their room so I could just plop down and have some peace and quiet. One day I was doing laundry and realized that they were all sitting close together and playing together. It was so annoyingly loud, but it made me smile. I asked them why they weren't in their rooms, and Kendrick piped in and said, "because we like to be by each other, Mom". I gave up on that "rule" after that. If they want to be together, by all means!
Against my better judgement, I gave the kids (mainly Kendrick) another chance at a bonfire. This time, the experience was SO much better! I think a big part of it was that I bought firewood at the store and had very little kindling left, so Kendrick wasn't tempted to play around with it nearly as much. Hallelujah! Kinsley, however, was terrified of the s'mores lol Reminds me of when she was terrified of pumpkins a couple years ago.
It was a HUGE hit for the kids! Also to be noted...Ryan is the one who likes to catch them on fire and then blow them out repeatedly. Kinsley won't touch a roasting stick, but likes to observe. Kendrick likes his very lightly brown, hardly even soft. Cashel likes to burn them and blow them out, but refuses to eat them that way. He likes his a medium brown.
This was one of those moments where it just really hit me how far we've come. These guys are TIGHT. They may fight sometimes, but man are they close. This was what Mark and I had aimed for when we had them close, and I'm getting to the point where I am so glad we did. The baby and toddler years are SO HARD, especially with Mark's progression going on, but I'm coming to this point where they're really just funny, so sweet, can do almost everything themselves, and I don't have to carry them everywhere. It still breaks my heart that Mark doesn't get to experience this. I miss him so tremendously much. Aside from the very obvious reasons (him not suffering anymore), I think part of me is looking forward to the time where he can look down on us from heaven and be able to see that we're okay. Pictures and video chats aren't enough to see their faces when they see something exciting, or to hear them giggle, or to see them interact with each other. To be able to see how far we've come. To be able to see that these children, as exhausting as they were in those early years, are worth all the hard work we put into raising them. I've got a LONG ways to go with this parenting thing - many friends with older kids remind me that the hardest parts are still to come, but in this moment, my heart was just so, so full.
Queen Elsa was ready for our first drive-in church service!
It was so nice to actually get dressed up and go to church, even if we just sat in our car. To be able to see our church family was so great
Mark would have LOVED this! I sent him the picture through the activities coordinator at his facility.
This pretty much sums up how this little lady feels about the jet ski. She was by FAR the most adventurous out on the water, even letting me get up to 30kmph, and was laughing and giggling the whole time. Kendrick, on the other hand, completely flipped out if we went over 10kmph.
I think my favorite is Sunday afternoon tablet time. The kids have usually had a busy morning, they're worn out, and they're ready to just snuggle.
Feels like summer! I forget that when I'm not at work, I can sport shorts! I need to pull them out and find the ones that fit me. Also, the entryway is so close to being done! I still have to adhere the fabric to the bulletin boards, but you can see what I selected behind me in this picture! I finished the trim in the middle of the month, and I am just LOVING this new entryway!!
Evidence that our home is lived in, and an entryway reno doesn't resolve all the clutter. It just gives me a place to put it all when it's clean up time!
These guys love their Uncle Daniel! He came out to go jet skiing and help with the kids before he left to go back to California for a while.
Ryan and Kinsley were the most gutsy when it came to jet skiing. These kids had FUN! It was really choppy on account of being so windy, but they weren't wanting me to slow down at any point.
Sometimes I think the kids and I forget that this dark place we've been for so long isn't forever. We're reminded by friends and family of that often, but it doesn't always really sink in. It was so good to see them smile :)
His new chairs finally arrived (they hadn't set the other one up just yet). Also, although he had a hiatus for a while, I've noticed that he is constantly looking at photo books these days again. Whenever we're video chatting, he's looking at them, and when I peek in on him on the surveillance camera, he's looking through them too. It still just warms my heart to see it. For him to know that he's loved.
First haircut since early February!!!How I feel by the end of most days. I know it WILL wind down as time goes on, but it's so exhausting right now balancing all the things.
Mark somehow broke the side pieces of his glasses this month, beyond repair. So...I was able to convince the optometrist to order him some new ones even though he should have had to come in for a visit. We'll see how they're fitting, but I didn't really have anything to go off. The last time he had ordered glasses was before he lived in Windom (contacts since then), so they didn't have any record of what he had ordered, nor do I know where he went before Windom.
I ordered this lightweight sweater off Zulily on a whim, and I LOVE it! It's far beyond cozy, and super flattering! I want to get more, but they've been sold out of them in any color other than black for a while now. I do keep checking, though, because I have a feeling it's goign to be my staple this winter.
This is the first time I have seen him smile in quite some time! Cue the waterworks! I know he's not Mark, the man I married, but he's Mark, this guy who I still absolutely would rope the moon for. I still just love him to pieces ♥
My feet have been out of this world awful with almost 4 months since my last pedicure. With it being summer, I find myself walking around outside without shoes and socks far too often. It was time for some TLC!
There was a huge emphasis on 5S (a lean term standing for Sort, Set in Order, Shine, Standardize, Sustain) a while back at work. (Technically, 6S, as at work, we added Safety). We had one particular employee who was pretty anal about how far he went with labeling things. This was our way to join in the fun. I just found it the other day and it made me giggle.
Back at it, and after two days, I was SO far beyond sore. So sore that I could hardly walk even!
Cashel brought me in one of my peony blooms and I am in love! Goodness do I love these flowers!
All the heart eyes for this one! I do NOT know how they got him to smile like this, but it absolutely made my day!
I mean...
So apparently we now have a little biker gang. It was so cute - they all insisted on taking their backpacks stuffed with their savings and their stuffed animals. It made me giggle so much!This guy doesn't come up in a whole lot of pictures these days. To be honest, he just kinda likes to do his own thing, and while he's a social kid, he really cherishes his quiet time by himself. (Like his Mama much?) This month, though, he really started engaging with us as a family more, and I love it! He also rekindled his passion for his "friends" Creepy and Snowball ♥
Kendrick is a literal little monkey these days! He wanted me to take about 75 pictures of him climbing the pole lol
We stumbled across the farmers' market (with all of 2 vendors), and Cashel insisted on spending some of his money on some honey. It was so cute to see him take this whole thing into his own hands.
The kids were beyond parched, so we made our way down to River City Eatery and grabbed some ice cold lemonade. I looked at the appetizer menu and realized it was a little heavy for them, so we opted to order chips and pickles for everyone! These kinds of memories are the best! And hooray for outdoor seating!!
The backpack crew had some serious frog finding stuff going on.
My friend Chad and I were lamenting the other day about how annoying it is (and inevitable) that the toddler/preschoolers always end up making us carry them and/or their bikes if we take a long walk. See, this is why I opted for the glider bike versus his one with training wheels. And I'm going to take a stroller even with no one in it down the road just for hauling bikes back up the hill lol
The tides have changed lol She was pretty adamant about cleaning my face.
When it's kiddie pool time, Mama gets a break! I've been working my way through this book for a couple months now. It's good, and it has a lot of little nuggets of wisdom in there, but it's just not easy to find straight chunks of time to crush more than a chapter at a time.
That one time the pool stayed inflated the entire time they used it!
Salted Cucumbers and Watermelon may just be my latest summer favorite!
Oh a whim, I decided to take the kids down to Spirit Lake to the outdoor movies. In recap, I don't think I'd do it again, at least not until they're much older. It was WAY too late getting home, no one fell asleep, it was a disaster to clean up, no one was happy with any of the things I got at the concession stand, leaving the older kids at the car while taking Ryan to the bathroom about undid me...just not the right timing. Maybe one day.
Guys...she lost the race. These were some rough times.
My first taste of Tavis's t-bones, and let's just say Cashel and I know how good they were. I don't know what's wrong with my other kids that they wouldn't even try it. We're not going to talk about how there were no leftovers.
My first time ever making my Mom's potato salad recipe. I've been such a huge fan of Mrs. Gerry's original potato salad for so long that I just never attempted making my own (not since the not-quite-all-the-way-cooked potato salad incident circa summer 2006 - still makes me giggle, Jamie and Heather). I didn't have pickle relish (only onion relish), so I think that's what made it a little off, but I still loved it! Kenrick was holding his nose saying, "Oh my gosh, mom - that smells so bad" lol Apparently he doesn't enjoy the smell of the sauce that goes into it, which makes me wonder if he's my child. It was delicious, just slightly off from what my Mom made.
Okay, I need some help here in this room. It's Cashel's. He insisted on this red colored rug. I HATE it, but very long story short, it ended up being free (it's a $200 rug). But I HATE it. It's oversized for the room, but he LOVES it. So...the wall color, I think, is what's ruining it for me. What do I do? How can I make this not want to make me stab my eye out when I see it? I know the combination of it with the floor color is part of the problem, but that can't change, so I need new options.
My sweet friend Becky was in the area for her Dad's funeral, so she stopped by for the afternoon and we got a chance to visit.
Felt cute ;)
Ryan and Kinsley have been pretty darn clingy lately, which has been hard. I know they need more Mama time, but man - I have been stretched SO thin. And then when I am just about finished with stuff and ready to snuggle them, they make a mess to get attention that takes me even more time to help them clean up. As things are beginning to settle with all the changes we've had recently with childcare and home improvement and such, I finally have a little time to focus on these guys, which I'm loving! I picked Ryan up early from daycare this day and we had a cookie and park date out by the lake. He was GIDDY. I can't wait to get started doing this with ALL the kids!
One of the perks of their daycare provider dating one of their Phy Ed teacher is that they are now trying to impress him with all their physical activity lol So...they asked me if they could run home from the park. It's almost a mile, guys. It wasn't cool out, but I told them sure, but I'd be following along beside them in the car. I cannot even envision how cool it would be if they started to take up running! I've been wanting to get back into it, but then FTD hit and then I hurt my hip flexor, and then COVID-19 hit, and well...motivation is now in play if my kids would actually run WITH me!
I was in a little fender bender on the 16th :( I'm tired of talking about it, but everyone is fine, the fender was able to be snapped back on (although needs to still be replaced, as a lot was damaged).
It's weird, being in an accident and not being injured. I hadn't been in one before that I can ever recall, certainly not one in which an ambulance was necessary, but it's like, they get done asking you questions (while the other guy was being prepped for an ambulance) and then they just...they're like "alright then - thanks!" And then everyone just leaves. And you stand there like, "Ummm...what am I supposed to do next?" I ended up grabbing my fender and the broken off pieces and putting them in the back of the Palisade and just drove home, after filing my claim, of course. It just...it's weird. I feel like there should be more to do.
After 20 minutes at DeFries Collision Center, she at least looked mostly back to normal.
On the upside, I came home to my bathroom floor installed, and with the tile about halfway done, it's really starting to come together!
The evening before the flooring was to be installed, I had this epiphony (at 9pm, no less) that if I wanted to paint, NOW would be a great time to do so, as the vanity and toilet were already removed and the walls were clear. I ripped out the old border (which was a piece of cake), and then painted quickly, and it looked SO NICE! Two days later, I put up the new trim, both in the bathroom upstairs and the entryway (doing the lower level bathroom a few days later) which I also just absolutely LOVED!
It's kinda fun to have power tools and know how to use them! Mark and I flipped a house down in Worthington back in 2007 (hallelujah for no more student loans as a result!), so he had gotten some of these to do the jobs himself. Watching him, I knew how to use them, so mitre saw and air compressor and trim gun...check, check, check!
These are dangerous to have around. I can eat an entire box, no problem, in a handful of minutes.
I ate a LOT of sushi in my car in June compared to a "normal" month. This is my favorite roll: The crunchy roll from Tokyo Sushi and Hibachi in Mankato. I was there a handful of times, mostly to get more supplies for the home renovations.
I spent a LOT of time masked and shopping at Menards this month. From emergency runs to get more tile for the bathrooms (I had told my designer I only wanted to go up 5 feet, but decided when they started working on it to go to the ceiling instead, so we didn't have enough) to trim to waterproofing membrane to other random stuff, I took 3 trips for that stuff, and an additional trip to pick up our new garage door (which was the very last project!)
#WorthIt I'll be doing recaps if I ever get the time to sit down and focus on them and remember to take pictures of the finished product. But this is the basic gist, and I LOVE it!
For some reason, this alone just makes me giddy. Having my own little space to put my stuff, and high enough that the little ones aren't grabbing my razor finally!
I did a little update on Mark recently, but want to emphasize again what an incredible blessing Freedom Homecare has been for Mark. Their staff have been so wonderful with him, engaging, and encouraging and just so attentive and kind. If you are looking for homecare in the Mankato area, I would HIGHLY recommend them. This particular aide, I would say, has gone way over and above for Mark. They all like to do knucks with him (which has now become elbows, which is so cute to watch), and they are so great at figuring out what he still CAN do and having him do it. He likes to help water the garden in the outdoor patio and she was bouncing a ball with him while he was looking at photo books during our visit. It's just absurd to me how much he can still do when his brain is so, so gone.
After our window visit (recapped in the recent update), I took the kids to one of the trails I had discovered a few weeks prior on an afternoon off I spent in Mankato doing a little home reno shopping, where I had some spare time. This one in particular just makes you feel so small
It's hard some days to believe they're all mine. I feel like I know them all so individually that when I see them all together like this, it overwhelms me. The enormity of all we've been through, and coming out on the other side of this slowly, it's beautiful, really. It's a good reminder to me that while each day may feel like we're just surviving, in reality, we're thriving, and they're growing, and it's just...it's overwhelming. Also noted: Each of the boys has on one of Daddy's hats.
The cutest strawberry pickers I've ever seen ;)
I still can't believe it's (almost) done! I've still got to make a decision on what to do ont hat left wall, and where to put the new hand towel rack, but you better believe we've moved back in and are fully on board with using this bathroom again!
Everyone has been all "gyms are horrible places to be during this pandemic", which has worked very much to my benefit. They were given clearance to open back up, but there's hardly anyone there. Ever. I literally have the place to myself most days. The changes are basically that instead of using a wipe collectively on all the machines, you're supposed to use one wipe for each machine. You're also supposed to sanitize your hands between machines. Upon arrival, you're also supposed to sanitize your hands, then take your temp, write it down, then sanitize your hands again. I am THRILLED to be back!
This kid's eyes! ♥
Miss Kins is a hot mess to dress these days! She refuses shirts at all costs, so in an effort to not letting her run around topless in public, I've had to get creative. Apparently she DOES like dresses, so I've picked up a number of them more recently. Even then, though, she's pretty darn picky. She wanted the butterfly to be on her chest with this particular dress, so it's inside out and backwards. #PickYourBattles
Video chatting with Daddy draws a crowd. I mean, for the kids it tends to be doing "silly faces" as they call it (basically Snapchat for the portal), but I'll take it! Mark loves to see them, but they honestly don't stick around for very long most of the time without doing the silly faces or else doing a watch party on there.
Painting with Preschoolers is basically a lesson in body painting. Thankful for the little painting vests I got a handful of years ago!
I'm kinda thrilled that I'm done with big projects and can now focus on little ones. Like this closet! I had been wanting to add a half shelf at the top for a LONG time. it's perfect for housing all my photo books and leaving space underneath for storage. I'm giddy!
My favorite part of the day ♥
My Mixtiles came earlier than I had anticipated, and it made what had been an extremely stressful, exhausting day so, so, so much better. I know these pictures by heart. I know exactly where to find them on my computer and my backup storage, and they are engrained in my mind. But my kids? My family? No one else has seen many of these. To put them in our home as reminders of our past and the love in our home is so, so good for me. I had a good conversation with my dear friend Steff the other day that it's hard to remember many days that people do love us. Many, many days it doesn't feel like it. Many, many days it feels so dark. Add in the pandemic and isolation associated with that, and it's even worse. But putting the faces of those who love us on the walls is beyond therapeutic. Looking those people in the face and telling them they don't care is absurd, but I do it in my head when I don't see their faces. I've got SO many more I want to print still (this was just a bunch of ones I had posted to Instagram), but it's a good start. Sometimes I feel like I've completely forgotten that our lives were ever easier. I've forgotten that I wasn't always a single Mom with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I've forgotten what good is many days. This is a very small picture of what I've forgotten. Sometimes I just need to remember.
I absolutely love these sandals. I have horribly flat feet, so finding flat sandals that don't kill my feet (and thus back, legs, etc.) is hard.
Date #2 was with Cashel. For his date, he wanted to go to the gas station to buy all the junk food and Pokemon cards (he had money burning a hole in his pocket), and then go look for frogs and clam shells. #boymom
