I took my big kid to his 9 year well child check! I feel so very fortunate that I don't frequently have to take my kids to the doctor. I did a little recap on how he's doing as a big NINE year old here.
My little kitchen helpers - they have to be separated at this point, because they always want to do the task I asked the other one to do lol
I read this in my devotions one day and felt like so many needed to hear it. The overall gist of the day was that if you are feeling ashamed or guilty without the inclination to reconciliation Christ drawing you back to himself, it's not from him. If you feel convicted and prompted to pull closer to Christ, it IS from him. His aim and goal is restoration, not to beat you down.
I have been so thoroughly challenged by the book I'm reading called "Calling in 'The One'" by Katherine Woodward Thomas. I started back at the beginning a while back so that I could actually do the activities, and it has been SO incredibly insightful. This particular exercise was to look around my home and see the things that make it uninviting. It also talks about how I need to basically stop being so busy with my time that I would never have time down the road for someone to fill that space in my life effortlessly. This was my list of things to change. Basically, I need to make room for someone to feel comfortable down the road in my home and in my life, without feeling like they are interrupting or as though they are an outsider. It was very insightful, and it helped me realize how much further I have to go.
I've yet to be gutsy enough to try making sushi on my own, even though I have the supplies. I figure if I start with imitation crab meat, I might even be able to convince my kids to try it. It's one of my very favorite foods, and I'd like for my kids to enjoy it too!
I started intermittent fasting on the 4th, and this was the first morning where I was in my fasting period during breakfast, and before I realized that a small splash of my non-dairy creamer was alright to add to my morning coffee. It felt really wrong, as I've always been told that breakfast is the most important part of the day, but honestly, as the month went on, I realized I didn't miss it, nor was I actually hungry, in the morning.
This was my first day during Intermittent Fasting at the gym. In that first month, I went down 4lbs, and aside from just basically skipping breakfast, I changed pretty much nothing.
When you ask the boys what they want to order with their grade money, it's always toys or Pokemon cards or Nerf guns or something along those lines. When you ask Kinsley, it's this lol
I seldom sit down to eat without a lap full of children lol
While we had snow on the ground, this was a pretty common occurrence in the house lol
I've got to scale back on playing around with Snapchat filters when the kids are around, because they end up kinda stealing my phone and taking over, and posting who knows what lol
There's this new art studio just outside of Windom in Bingham Lake called Ashes to Art, and it's amazing! They had a kids' story time around Valentine's Day, so I took the kids to listen and then paint a little blue (or pink) truck (the story had been Little Blue Truck's Valentine's). The kids had a lot of fun!
I finally have reached the place where my kids no longer watch these Baby Einstein videos. A huge thank you to my friend Carrie (at least I THINK it was Carrie...) who sent us the first one when Cashel was born! I have added so many more to the list. It felt good to clear up all that space in my closet, but a little bittersweet parting with them after all these years.
I love it when my big kids come to snuggle with me. After work and the gym, I usually come home and just crash.
Of course, the little two don't ever allow that without popping in to claim their space as well.
Cashel and Kendrick have been asking for the past few years if they can go up in the attic, so after all this time putting it off, I decided that after it had been too many boring weekends lounging around the house, it was time to let Cashel cross this off his official "bucket list" lol At first, they were SO excited, and told me it was the coolest thing ever. It didn't take long before they admitted that it was super boring and not really exciting at all lol
We did a LOT of building with these magna tiles this month.
My kids figured out that you don't have to unlock my phone to take pictures, so yeah lol My camera roll was filled with these types of things this month.
Kins has taken a major interest in my makeup these days lol I usually give her an extra makeup brush and an old palette of powder and let her go to town, but I've more recently found her carrying around my lip glosses too lol I remember my favorite thing to do was to organize my Mom's purse as a kid. I now see how maddening that is and how frustrating it is too lol Lord, help me!
We spent SO many weekends in January and early February doing exactly this, pretty much the entire weekend. We're very much ready for spring so we can get back outside more.
The kids and I basically had a charcuterie tray for the Superbowl, but I also made these bars, which was a BAD idea. Oh, they were so yummy!!
I spent a little time this month catching up on some 2018 scrapbooking. I had to take it in little spurts, because in general, it was sobering and kinda depressing.
I absolutely LOVE this entryway. Isn't it so beautiful?
Kendrick wanted to go shopping to find some Legos on his date day in February, and then we went home and worked on building his set. On a side note, I'm not really sure why he started smiling like this, but it's not his normal smile lol
Miss Kinsley got to celebrate her half birthday at school in February, and was just BEAMING when she came home. It was so adorable!
The visits this month were harder. Mark no longer seems to be able to express his excitement when I come for visits, which he has always been able to do in the past. I can tell he's slowing down a lot, and he's just more tired in general. I mostly just laid by him most visits and showed him videos and pictures of the kids from more recently, which he DID have reactions too. He doesn't speak at all anymore, and only smiles after a LOT of coaxing. I'm still having to catch the times he has headaches, and while they don't seem quite so bad (the Gabapentin does help curb them, it seems), I can still tell that it's not taking it all the way away.
Kins joined the piggy tail train this month, and I'm LOVING it! lol
My aunt posted this picture on a private facebook group for our relatives, and I had never seen it before. It has been so long that my grandparents have all been gone that sometimes I forget all the fun, sweet times I'd have when we visited. I miss their home so much, and all the fun adventures we had rolling or sledding down their big hill in the back yard, gathering around the kitchen and living room during holidays, and playing downstairs in the basement with all the toys, and adventuring into the rooms with all my grandpa's old office stuff, notably his old ham radio that my brothers laughed about, saying it looked nothing like a ham lol Sometimes I just wish I could go back to those days when life was so much simpler. I miss him singing "Twenty Froggies went to School" and finding all the empty toilet paper rolls in their bathroom closet upstairs, and the wonder of pocket doors lol This picture just brought all that and so much more back to my memories.
I finished out a pretty lengthy, exhausting migration this month for work, and was surprised to find this card and a nice gift card from a co-worker, acknowledging just how exhausting and absurd it had been. I'm so glad to put it in the past. It sure brought a smile to my face (and a massage and drinks out with my friend Jill). Sometimes it's these little things that just really seem to be missing from the workplace. Everything has become completely about work, and so much less about building relationships, and I really miss that facet of work. I'd like to say it's all the pandemic, but the truth is, it's a downward trend over the years, and it makes me really sad :(
An accurate representation of Kinsley these days lol
I sure do enjoy my time spent with my Jil :)
My sweet friend Lana told me she was going to pick up my kids from daycare this particular Friday and feed them and entertain them the whole evening while I had a night off. She then brought them home, got them to get their jammies on, and sat while Kendrick read to her that evening. Life is busy, everyone is in their own space, but I will say this...when people ask what they can do to help, THIS is an excellent example of what you can do. I cannot express what a wonderful evening I had out with Jill, knowing my kids were having a blast.
While they were out with Lana, she took them to the Ashes to Art studio and they made this canvas, which they gave to me on Valentine's Day. I was so stunned! What a beautiful keepsake, and the kids were SO excited to make it for me.
Our church held their annual Valentine's Bowling event this year again, and Kinsley was SO stinkin' adorable. She didn't want to let go of her ball, and had so much fun rolling it (extremely slowly) down the lane.
On the upside, it was a "warm" -26, with a "feels like" temp of only -15!
This is how I like to dress on days like that when I have to mask up for work lol Should've put the sunglasses on too!
Sometimes "constants" like laundry or dishes in our lives are overwhelming. But what I see here is such a blessing. I *get* to do laundry in my *own* house. I have the capability of washing large comforters that were leaked through while sleeping every few days. I have enough clothes for myself and my kids that, when the laundry gets backed up like this (and worse), we all still have enough to stay warm and clothed and clean. Life sometimes gets away from me, and I get caught up in things, but it just takes little reminders like this...or being able to pick up the groceries on my order without having to panic about how much is left in my bank account to cover it...those little things are really the BIG things.
They always have such a wonderful time at daycare! This has been SUCH a blessing for me in this phase of life: Knowing that when they aren't with me, they are LOVED, and they are warm and cozy and cared for, and HAPPY.
I started following r.m. drake in February and am just so encouraged by most of his quotes. This one gives me such hope.
This reminds me of my Daddy so much! My siblings and I joke around about all the crazy concoctions we came up with kids ("Dave" casserole, anyone?), but this is what I remember my Dad sitting down, watching TV in the evening with as a snack. I can't even fathom how many bags of chips we used to go through as a family of 8 in a week. I don't buy this often, but when I do, it always makes me smile.
Another day, another dollar! I was trying to get a cute pic of Kinsley and I in the entryway before heading out the door to work and daycare, but she got crabby, and Cashel was in a crazy mood lol
My sister posted this one, and I laughed so hard lol I try to keep things simple these days, but I definitely recall an enormous pile of dishes covering the entire counter as a kid...with no dishwasher. It felt like ages! lol
Sometimes they really get along ♥
i don't completely hate the no napping phase. It's a lot easier to get them down to bed when they pass out while snuggling.
Three years later, I'm really starting to take charge of my health, but it's so hard to see the progress some days. Seeing this side by side is the motivation I need to keep going. I still have some great goals in place, but I'm feeling so good!
Another one my aunt posted, and it makes me grin seeing my Mama's face. I totally get it, Mama - two rowdy boys and a baby...oy! I love her and miss her so much! There are so many things I wish I could just sit down and talk to her about. If your Mama is still alive, hug that woman ASAP!
Getting SO close to spring! The kids were SUPER antsy to ride their bikes outside on the first 40ish degree day.
Daddy called while we were outside, which was exciting! He doesn't really tend to get to see the kids do much, since he doesn't answer his video calls when we call him, so it was fun to let the littles show off their new bikes, even if he wasn't actually watching.
When it's nice out and it's still breakfast time.
It's crazy to me to think that this Indiana transplant to Iowa girl is raising Minnesota boys! Cashel definitely has the dress code down for days like this lol
For such a tiny little back yard, we sure do have a lot of fun packed in! I always wanted a big jungle gym type of thing, but just don't have the space.
I think it's safe to say we won't see so many sub-zero temps anymore this winter!
I had my first and only Thai massage in Manhattan Beach with my girl Lauren, and while it was HORRIBLY painful at the time, I literally didn't have an ounce of back pain for MONTHS afterward. I'm thrilled that they have one in Worthington, and you'd better bet I'm giving it a try again soon. I mean...assuming I don't actually die from it, becuase if it's anything like that one in Manhattan Beach, I actually thought I might lol
Trying to document these last days/weeks/months where I can still hold this little guy in my arms like this. He's growing SO MUCH, and even with all my intense lifting, it's still getting to be a bit much for this Mama :( He'll be FIVE in March!!
Cashel is SUCH a great big brother (when he wants to be lol). This particular morning, I was getting ready in the bathroom and came out to find Cashel working with Kinsley on learning fractions and telling time lol I told him, "Honey, she doesn't even know how to write her name fully yet", to which he responded, "It's okay, Mom, because she doesn't have to write her name to understand fractions or time. I'll make her the smartest girl ever, and everyone will be amazed when I'm done with her." lol
More journaling from "Calling in 'The One'". A good reminder for myself that I get to determine my future.
This one made me actually spit out my coffee when I read it lol My kids don't often say they're bored, but when they do, this is about right lol
I took the kids to the Children's Museum in Mankato (highly recommended, btw!), and they had this painting area with a huge piece of glass with squeegies and all that stuff. They also have an incredible climbing tree with stairs going up around the trunk and all sorts of crawling nets and what not, and it just was such a great day! I snapped this picture of Kins doing her painting, and it was one of those moments where I felt like things are going to be alright. We're going to be okay. We ARE okay. It isn't often that I think back about all we've been through, but this moment felt very full-circle. My baby girl, who was in my tummy during some of the very worst days of my entire life, and born into a family that was broken, and unbeknownst to me, about to be obliterated into dust, is three and a half years old. And she knows nothing about what happened, and I want to keep it that way. She knows and adores her Daddy, but she doesn't know all the effort it took to get to a place where she knows and loves him and isn't damaged because of what we went through. She's innocent and sweet and kind and compassionate...you know...when she's not kicking me in the face or screaming about how I put her pony tail in wrong...I mean, she is a threenager right now lol I'm so grateful that the Lord brought me through this. I'm not naive enough to think that we're all unscathed, but knowing what could have been, I'm just so grateful and so glad that thus far, it has been worth it.
My little kitchen helpers - they have to be separated at this point, because they always want to do the task I asked the other one to do lol
I read this in my devotions one day and felt like so many needed to hear it. The overall gist of the day was that if you are feeling ashamed or guilty without the inclination to reconciliation Christ drawing you back to himself, it's not from him. If you feel convicted and prompted to pull closer to Christ, it IS from him. His aim and goal is restoration, not to beat you down.
I have been so thoroughly challenged by the book I'm reading called "Calling in 'The One'" by Katherine Woodward Thomas. I started back at the beginning a while back so that I could actually do the activities, and it has been SO incredibly insightful. This particular exercise was to look around my home and see the things that make it uninviting. It also talks about how I need to basically stop being so busy with my time that I would never have time down the road for someone to fill that space in my life effortlessly. This was my list of things to change. Basically, I need to make room for someone to feel comfortable down the road in my home and in my life, without feeling like they are interrupting or as though they are an outsider. It was very insightful, and it helped me realize how much further I have to go.
I've yet to be gutsy enough to try making sushi on my own, even though I have the supplies. I figure if I start with imitation crab meat, I might even be able to convince my kids to try it. It's one of my very favorite foods, and I'd like for my kids to enjoy it too!
I started intermittent fasting on the 4th, and this was the first morning where I was in my fasting period during breakfast, and before I realized that a small splash of my non-dairy creamer was alright to add to my morning coffee. It felt really wrong, as I've always been told that breakfast is the most important part of the day, but honestly, as the month went on, I realized I didn't miss it, nor was I actually hungry, in the morning.
This was my first day during Intermittent Fasting at the gym. In that first month, I went down 4lbs, and aside from just basically skipping breakfast, I changed pretty much nothing.
When you ask the boys what they want to order with their grade money, it's always toys or Pokemon cards or Nerf guns or something along those lines. When you ask Kinsley, it's this lol
I seldom sit down to eat without a lap full of children lol
While we had snow on the ground, this was a pretty common occurrence in the house lol
I've got to scale back on playing around with Snapchat filters when the kids are around, because they end up kinda stealing my phone and taking over, and posting who knows what lol
There's this new art studio just outside of Windom in Bingham Lake called Ashes to Art, and it's amazing! They had a kids' story time around Valentine's Day, so I took the kids to listen and then paint a little blue (or pink) truck (the story had been Little Blue Truck's Valentine's). The kids had a lot of fun!
I finally have reached the place where my kids no longer watch these Baby Einstein videos. A huge thank you to my friend Carrie (at least I THINK it was Carrie...) who sent us the first one when Cashel was born! I have added so many more to the list. It felt good to clear up all that space in my closet, but a little bittersweet parting with them after all these years.
I love it when my big kids come to snuggle with me. After work and the gym, I usually come home and just crash.
Of course, the little two don't ever allow that without popping in to claim their space as well.
Cashel and Kendrick have been asking for the past few years if they can go up in the attic, so after all this time putting it off, I decided that after it had been too many boring weekends lounging around the house, it was time to let Cashel cross this off his official "bucket list" lol At first, they were SO excited, and told me it was the coolest thing ever. It didn't take long before they admitted that it was super boring and not really exciting at all lol
We did a LOT of building with these magna tiles this month.
My kids figured out that you don't have to unlock my phone to take pictures, so yeah lol My camera roll was filled with these types of things this month.
Kins has taken a major interest in my makeup these days lol I usually give her an extra makeup brush and an old palette of powder and let her go to town, but I've more recently found her carrying around my lip glosses too lol I remember my favorite thing to do was to organize my Mom's purse as a kid. I now see how maddening that is and how frustrating it is too lol Lord, help me!
We spent SO many weekends in January and early February doing exactly this, pretty much the entire weekend. We're very much ready for spring so we can get back outside more.
The kids and I basically had a charcuterie tray for the Superbowl, but I also made these bars, which was a BAD idea. Oh, they were so yummy!!
I spent a little time this month catching up on some 2018 scrapbooking. I had to take it in little spurts, because in general, it was sobering and kinda depressing.
I absolutely LOVE this entryway. Isn't it so beautiful?
Kendrick wanted to go shopping to find some Legos on his date day in February, and then we went home and worked on building his set. On a side note, I'm not really sure why he started smiling like this, but it's not his normal smile lol
Miss Kinsley got to celebrate her half birthday at school in February, and was just BEAMING when she came home. It was so adorable!
The visits this month were harder. Mark no longer seems to be able to express his excitement when I come for visits, which he has always been able to do in the past. I can tell he's slowing down a lot, and he's just more tired in general. I mostly just laid by him most visits and showed him videos and pictures of the kids from more recently, which he DID have reactions too. He doesn't speak at all anymore, and only smiles after a LOT of coaxing. I'm still having to catch the times he has headaches, and while they don't seem quite so bad (the Gabapentin does help curb them, it seems), I can still tell that it's not taking it all the way away.
Kins joined the piggy tail train this month, and I'm LOVING it! lol
My aunt posted this picture on a private facebook group for our relatives, and I had never seen it before. It has been so long that my grandparents have all been gone that sometimes I forget all the fun, sweet times I'd have when we visited. I miss their home so much, and all the fun adventures we had rolling or sledding down their big hill in the back yard, gathering around the kitchen and living room during holidays, and playing downstairs in the basement with all the toys, and adventuring into the rooms with all my grandpa's old office stuff, notably his old ham radio that my brothers laughed about, saying it looked nothing like a ham lol Sometimes I just wish I could go back to those days when life was so much simpler. I miss him singing "Twenty Froggies went to School" and finding all the empty toilet paper rolls in their bathroom closet upstairs, and the wonder of pocket doors lol This picture just brought all that and so much more back to my memories.
I finished out a pretty lengthy, exhausting migration this month for work, and was surprised to find this card and a nice gift card from a co-worker, acknowledging just how exhausting and absurd it had been. I'm so glad to put it in the past. It sure brought a smile to my face (and a massage and drinks out with my friend Jill). Sometimes it's these little things that just really seem to be missing from the workplace. Everything has become completely about work, and so much less about building relationships, and I really miss that facet of work. I'd like to say it's all the pandemic, but the truth is, it's a downward trend over the years, and it makes me really sad :(
An accurate representation of Kinsley these days lol
I sure do enjoy my time spent with my Jil :)
My sweet friend Lana told me she was going to pick up my kids from daycare this particular Friday and feed them and entertain them the whole evening while I had a night off. She then brought them home, got them to get their jammies on, and sat while Kendrick read to her that evening. Life is busy, everyone is in their own space, but I will say this...when people ask what they can do to help, THIS is an excellent example of what you can do. I cannot express what a wonderful evening I had out with Jill, knowing my kids were having a blast.
While they were out with Lana, she took them to the Ashes to Art studio and they made this canvas, which they gave to me on Valentine's Day. I was so stunned! What a beautiful keepsake, and the kids were SO excited to make it for me.
Our church held their annual Valentine's Bowling event this year again, and Kinsley was SO stinkin' adorable. She didn't want to let go of her ball, and had so much fun rolling it (extremely slowly) down the lane.
On the upside, it was a "warm" -26, with a "feels like" temp of only -15!
This is how I like to dress on days like that when I have to mask up for work lol Should've put the sunglasses on too!
Sometimes "constants" like laundry or dishes in our lives are overwhelming. But what I see here is such a blessing. I *get* to do laundry in my *own* house. I have the capability of washing large comforters that were leaked through while sleeping every few days. I have enough clothes for myself and my kids that, when the laundry gets backed up like this (and worse), we all still have enough to stay warm and clothed and clean. Life sometimes gets away from me, and I get caught up in things, but it just takes little reminders like this...or being able to pick up the groceries on my order without having to panic about how much is left in my bank account to cover it...those little things are really the BIG things.
They always have such a wonderful time at daycare! This has been SUCH a blessing for me in this phase of life: Knowing that when they aren't with me, they are LOVED, and they are warm and cozy and cared for, and HAPPY.
I started following r.m. drake in February and am just so encouraged by most of his quotes. This one gives me such hope.
This reminds me of my Daddy so much! My siblings and I joke around about all the crazy concoctions we came up with kids ("Dave" casserole, anyone?), but this is what I remember my Dad sitting down, watching TV in the evening with as a snack. I can't even fathom how many bags of chips we used to go through as a family of 8 in a week. I don't buy this often, but when I do, it always makes me smile.
Another day, another dollar! I was trying to get a cute pic of Kinsley and I in the entryway before heading out the door to work and daycare, but she got crabby, and Cashel was in a crazy mood lol
My sister posted this one, and I laughed so hard lol I try to keep things simple these days, but I definitely recall an enormous pile of dishes covering the entire counter as a kid...with no dishwasher. It felt like ages! lol
Sometimes they really get along ♥
i don't completely hate the no napping phase. It's a lot easier to get them down to bed when they pass out while snuggling.
Three years later, I'm really starting to take charge of my health, but it's so hard to see the progress some days. Seeing this side by side is the motivation I need to keep going. I still have some great goals in place, but I'm feeling so good!
Another one my aunt posted, and it makes me grin seeing my Mama's face. I totally get it, Mama - two rowdy boys and a baby...oy! I love her and miss her so much! There are so many things I wish I could just sit down and talk to her about. If your Mama is still alive, hug that woman ASAP!
Getting SO close to spring! The kids were SUPER antsy to ride their bikes outside on the first 40ish degree day.
Daddy called while we were outside, which was exciting! He doesn't really tend to get to see the kids do much, since he doesn't answer his video calls when we call him, so it was fun to let the littles show off their new bikes, even if he wasn't actually watching.
When it's nice out and it's still breakfast time.
It's crazy to me to think that this Indiana transplant to Iowa girl is raising Minnesota boys! Cashel definitely has the dress code down for days like this lol
For such a tiny little back yard, we sure do have a lot of fun packed in! I always wanted a big jungle gym type of thing, but just don't have the space.
I think it's safe to say we won't see so many sub-zero temps anymore this winter!
I had my first and only Thai massage in Manhattan Beach with my girl Lauren, and while it was HORRIBLY painful at the time, I literally didn't have an ounce of back pain for MONTHS afterward. I'm thrilled that they have one in Worthington, and you'd better bet I'm giving it a try again soon. I mean...assuming I don't actually die from it, becuase if it's anything like that one in Manhattan Beach, I actually thought I might lol
Trying to document these last days/weeks/months where I can still hold this little guy in my arms like this. He's growing SO MUCH, and even with all my intense lifting, it's still getting to be a bit much for this Mama :( He'll be FIVE in March!!
Cashel is SUCH a great big brother (when he wants to be lol). This particular morning, I was getting ready in the bathroom and came out to find Cashel working with Kinsley on learning fractions and telling time lol I told him, "Honey, she doesn't even know how to write her name fully yet", to which he responded, "It's okay, Mom, because she doesn't have to write her name to understand fractions or time. I'll make her the smartest girl ever, and everyone will be amazed when I'm done with her." lol
More journaling from "Calling in 'The One'". A good reminder for myself that I get to determine my future.
This one made me actually spit out my coffee when I read it lol My kids don't often say they're bored, but when they do, this is about right lol
I took the kids to the Children's Museum in Mankato (highly recommended, btw!), and they had this painting area with a huge piece of glass with squeegies and all that stuff. They also have an incredible climbing tree with stairs going up around the trunk and all sorts of crawling nets and what not, and it just was such a great day! I snapped this picture of Kins doing her painting, and it was one of those moments where I felt like things are going to be alright. We're going to be okay. We ARE okay. It isn't often that I think back about all we've been through, but this moment felt very full-circle. My baby girl, who was in my tummy during some of the very worst days of my entire life, and born into a family that was broken, and unbeknownst to me, about to be obliterated into dust, is three and a half years old. And she knows nothing about what happened, and I want to keep it that way. She knows and adores her Daddy, but she doesn't know all the effort it took to get to a place where she knows and loves him and isn't damaged because of what we went through. She's innocent and sweet and kind and compassionate...you know...when she's not kicking me in the face or screaming about how I put her pony tail in wrong...I mean, she is a threenager right now lol I'm so grateful that the Lord brought me through this. I'm not naive enough to think that we're all unscathed, but knowing what could have been, I'm just so grateful and so glad that thus far, it has been worth it.
