There are no words for how much freedom from guilt this gives me when it comes to grief. I started a little post series about Moving Forward this month, and it has been really interesting to me how completely perfectly it all seems to line up with what I'm reading in this book by Megan Divine. For links to the posts I've done in the series, click here.
It makes me chuckle thinking that this is now my very favorite tea. See, I used to HATE it, but it was the ONLY thing that calmed my stomach in that first trimester period with each of my pregnancies.
By the end of 4 pregnancies, it's now my go-to in the late morning and early evening. after all my coffee is down the hatch.
A few things on this picture:
1) My Galaxy S9+ drives me nuts with how easily it takes screen shots. (this wasn't an intentional one - it seems to happen every time I attempt to adjust the volume)
2) This is one of my very best FTD Spouse friends, Brian. He is one of the most level-headed people I know. Great, great guy! We try to meet up for dinner or drinks every few months in Kato, but it has been too long!
3) As you can see, the poor guy gets to see me as I'm getting ready in the mornings on these polos some of the time lol Hot freaking mess!
Video chats with cousins are a favorite, even if they're a little blurry on account of all the movement.
Feels like an eternity again ♥ This was for Mark's 30th birthday.
Maybe you remember from last October that I had a sleep study. Turns out I had a pretty mild sleep apnea (1-2 events per hour). It qualified me for a CPAP machine that I used for a few months. Honestly, though, I never felt any more rested, even after 3 months of using it, and I had started getting headaches over the past few weeks from it, so I am retiring it, at least for now. It's really nice to not have to wear that mask at night anymore lol
This little guy is working hard at preschool, even with the quarantine going on. He's really into spelling his name, which I think is so cute.
Every once in a great while, the kids pull out the floor puzzles. I love seeing them do them, but it never lasts long, because inevitably, someone decides that racing around the house is a good idea and someone gets the floor knocked out from under them.
I added these pictures to my living room last year, and I still love seeing them at home. The 1st and 3rd ones are from my trip to Vancouver in 2018, and the 2nd and 4th ones are from a trip Mark and Cashel and I took to visit Mark's brother's family in Washington State in 2012.
Preschool homework is more fun than elementary school homework ;)
Kinsley is REALLY into helping in the kitchen lately.
Facebook post from April 4th. This is pretty much what my days look like with the kids home for long periods of time.
I've completely given up on caring what the kids wear in public unless it's not weather-appropriate or we're headed to church.
I finally got Miss Kins's 0-6 month book finished at the end of March and it came in early April.
I LOVE doing these books for the kids whenever I get a few extra minutes to sit down and do some digital scrapbooking.
So I've already banned any more fires for the rest of 2020. #DontAsk
Hot.Freaking.Mess.
My little mini me ♥
This is normal.
I'm slowly saying goodbye to little kid toys, of which this alligator is on the verge of going. I feel like I should be sadder about it, but I'm just not.
Until I get a hitch put on the Palisade, I can't attach a bike rack to go anywhere with the kids, so this was the compromise: They ride while I drive alongside them with the little two in tow.
I was thinking the other day, "Why is it that so many of my pictures depict this calm environment?
That is totally NOT the norm!" And then I realized that was because I didn't feel like taking pictures of my insane children when I was in the middle of losing my mind and all.
The day after I banned anymore fires in the fire pit, Kendrick miraculously forgot. He would NOT let it go about me having not done the marshmallows the night before, so I finally just decided to let them roast them by lighter. They were perfectly content, so I guess win-win, right?
I have to sign a care plan about every 6 months. It still makes my heart sink every time I am caught off guard with this.
Medical bills from 2019...for Mark alone.
Chlidcare has been extremely up and down over the past month. Schools closed, I scrambled, 2 options fell through for nannies, then the kids qualified for emergency childcare at the school, then the littles' daycare closed for 2 weeks, so then the kids started at a new daycare after a week at temporary childcare arrangements. Ryan spent a week going to the school with the big kids, but it was far too structured for him. Then, just as everything was settling again, our new daycare for the littles ended up having an allergic reaction that kept her out for the first three days of the next week, so in the end, I just ended up burning a couple vacation days and staying home.
My only grocery store visit in two months was quite a change from what it used to be. (I have been doing grocery pick up or delivery for the past 3 years). The major changes were that there were directional arrows with masking tape, a spot to stand on further back when waiting in line, signage up that directs only one person per family should come in, and a plexiglass shield put up to protect the cashiers with this little sign.
This little guy lights up my world! He's also 4. These two do not mesh well.
This is the last bike ride this kid will take without protective gear and his helmet. Totally biffed it going down a hill. He's quite the trooper though, and has hardly complained about it, aside from the peroxide stinging.
I LOVE nights like this one - family walks down to the park, hanging out together, gorgeous temps, the slightest breeze, and working up a sweat.
This was such a pleasant surprise in my inbox the other day! So proud of my kiddos and how hard they're working to get their schoolwork done. Cashel is VERY much a self-starter, and I know he really misses his teacher and friends at school. It's just good to hear such good news every once in a great while ♥
This bike is all of 2 years old, and Cashel is getting so tall that I'm not entirely sure it's going to be big enough for him by next year!
I'm going to be so sad when the day comes that I no longer have little kid art work on my fridge and all over the walls.
Our sweet friends Kimm and Gabriella brought us some cookies with this sweet little note attached. Let's just say that by the time I thought to take a picture of the cookies, they were already gone lol So...thank you, ladies!
I've been slowly picking away at a slideshow to commemorate Mark's life. It's certainly not something I've been powering away at lately, but I put in a couple hours while I was home so much. There's definitely a reason I don't pull out the photo books often, because this...it hurts.
I miss him so, so much. ♥ These two were in the midst of what we deemed "wedding season", in which I think we had 2 weddings a month for the summer. These particular two were for our friends Rach and Ben (pic 1) in Sioux Falls and Joe and Kala (pic 2) in New Ulm. And MAN did we ever look energetic! (This was a couple years still before having any kids lol)
I never really ever thought of us as a "power couple", but man...we brought the sass lol He was SO much fun back in the day - and the guy didn't drink at all, but MAN did he tear up the dance floor!
It still catches me off guard when I see the tape around the playgrounds :( While we do still like to frequent the parks themselves, having the playgrounds off limits has been HARD on the kids.
Cashel specifically asked for a picture proving how tall he was compared to me. Pretty soon we'll be the same height!
Love to video chat with this guy (especially now that he's not calling me 50 times a day like he did last summer)
The kids LOVE to do "funny faces" with Daddy on Facebook messenger. Their favorite, and the one that gets ALL of them rolling with laughter is the "foot face" one lol Also, this is pretty much all we see of Mark for a good chunk of our video chats. Either this tiny portion of his face, or his back while he walks away and out the door or to go lay in his bed.
Fairly typical weekend morning around here.
My eyes sparkle just a tinge more when I've had my coffee ;)
I'm afraid I pulled out the big guns too soon this spring already. I've threatened over a dozen times (in this specific hour long window) that we're no longer going for walks or bike rides at all the entire rest of the year. #ImpulsiveMuch? This kid takes FOREVER to do anything. And he whines about all of it. And when he doesn't feel like doing what we're doing, he legit takes his bike and puts it on its side and will sit in the middle of the road. I know many of you tell me that I'll miss these days, but I can, without a doubt, tell you that I will not miss this.
Nor will I miss this crap. In the course of a week, someone (I'm pretty sure I know who, Mr. Bull in a China shop) busted our fence locking mechanism AND busted all three valves (that Mark's brother had JUST replaced a few weeks prior) on the grill. I honestly try not to complain much about my situation in general, and I handle all the added basic household responsibilities, but this stuff enrages me! I did not handle it well and did a LOT of yelling and screaming before calling my sister and yelling and screaming at her to get it out of my system. I did end up finding the piece that broke off and re-securing it and it's holding up well, so I'm crossing my fingers here that by the time Ryan or Kinsley are strong enough to break it again, they'll be old enough to be in the front yard without me having to pull them out of the road 15 times an hour.
This picture makes me giggle lol I had gotten the kids clothes for Easter long before this virus stuff got serious, so I figured they'd better dress up in it, even if we weren't going to go anywhere, and then do our little Easter egg hunt around the back yard.
Johnson Family minus the big guy
Can someone tell me how in the world they got so big?? What intrigues me most about this picture is how tall Cashel is, but also how tall KINSLEY is! I mean, I know Ryan is kinda more my little shrimpo kid, but Kinsley - I mean, I think she's going to pass him up here shortly!
Her face here...♥
When the big kids snatch the camera. It's weird actually being in pictures that aren't selfies. It's also crazy that they're beginning to take pictures that aren't horrendously unflattering lol
I hadn't realized that Ryan had found Pac-man on his tablet. Talk about nostalgia! It brings me right on back to the Flag Pole in Warsaw as a kid where they had the big arcade game and we used to get those super giant banana splits that were the length of 2 or 3 picnic tables at the end of soccer season as a team. The bubble gum ice cream was the BEST!
Working my best to stimulate the local economy. #DuffysBarAndGrill I try to get takeout from somewhere locally at least once a week, although sometimes twice. It's so nice that they have delivery so I don't have to leave and go anywhere.
Kinsley has reached the "more clothes is better" phase I remember giggling about with my niece Caitlin. Goodness, this girl will have on no fewer than 5 pairs of pants at a time when she's home usually.
Prepping for a summer with possibly no pools open and no parks. The kids LOVE the basketball hoop, which arrived last Saturday. Also, isn't my friend Erica a knockout? She's one of my very best FTD spouse friends ♥ Love you, lady!
We took a short little trip to Mankato to drop some things off for Mark and saw these motivational signs. I kept thinking to myself for days afterwards about what "positive pants" must look like. I'm assuming there's elastic of some sort...
My dear friend Lauren gifted me this beautiful keychain, which I promptly attached to my car keys and then lost.
Turns out they were in my coat pocket, but I hadn't been wearing my coat all month. "IMUA" means "Moving Forward with Strength". I like it!
I've been chuckling at pandemic memes for a bit now, but for some reason, I think this is my favorite lol
My sweet friends Leesa and Waylon brought us supper one night - SO.YUMMY!!!!! Thank you so much, guys!
Every once in a great while, this happens. I'm SO ready to eventually (once the bathrooms and entryway are finished) get the peninsula installed back in the kitchen again to get the rest of the clutter off my counters!
It got a little interesting trying to figure out how to explain to the kids why Kinsley didn't get her kite from the Easter Bunny just yet. Also...Cashel now knows that the Easter Bunny isn't fo sho...so...yeah. At one point, I had Cashel and Kendrick in the one room, and Kendrick was a little suspicious, and Cashel looks at me, dead in the eyes, and says, "Mom, I think it's time we told him" lol Fair warning, Mamas with kids who are in Cashel's class: I have a feeling this Christmas is going to be "the one" where he realizes that Santa doesn't bring the presents. So two questions: 1) Is this typical for this age (he's 8, but will be almost 9 by Christmas), and 2) How the heck do you keep them from not telling all the people when they find out? I've never really played up Santa at home, it has been more of a thing where they talk to their friends and hype it up. I don't want him to ruin it for other peoples' kids.
This pretty well goes with both this post as well as this one, and I just love it!
This book has sat in my bathroom for years at this point, and I've not been able to get too far in it, if I'm being honest. It's not that I don't want to aspire to be this positive parent, but right now, I'm just trying to survive and all.
Anyone who knows me really well knows that I'm kinda obsessive about beets. I LOVE them. Growing up, I didn't know that this salad my maternal grandma made had them in them, but now I know why I love them. I was going to make this for Easter, but for some reason I keep buying raspberry jello instead of lemon jello and keep thinking I need to put crushed pineapple in it instead of just pineapple juice.
This is pretty much how "watching" our Easter service online went on Easter Sunday. I'm seriously fearing September when we'll likely be back to normal church services (maybe) and I have to then corral FOUR children during the service. I've decided to switch to watching Cornerstone Kids YouTube clips with them, and they really seem to be reacting well to that (they actually sit still there and watch).
My, oh my, how the times have changed.
This was the first really enjoyable time we've had dying eggs! The kids had fun with it, and no one was screaming or spilling the dye or breaking the eggs.
Easter was kinda a bust this year. I woke up on the cusp of a migraine that lingered until about 5pm. I am assuming it was mostly due to excessive stress coupled with dehydration, since, when I rested and drank lots of water, it subsided. I still put on the big meal, but I didn't end up eating any of it, and the kids weren't super on board with it either.
The kids have been a little obsessive about seasoning their food lately. While resting later, I ended up finding a salt and pepper bomb ALLLL over the living room.
Since this whole thing started, these two have been getting along SO much better! I know they've loved having more time at home in general (even if that changed once they started going to the emergency daycare program). It isn't like this all the time, but they seem to be bonding a lot more, whether it's building something, playing Minecraft or Roblox together, or cooking up something in the kitchen.
My sweet photographer friend Tina Mesner with Chrystina Jayne Photography in town here had this sweet idea to do "front porch" pictures for Easter this year. I had already taken some with my kiddos all dressed up on Friday, but later that day, after we had all changed back into our comfy clothes, she swung by and captured a couple photos lol This is pretty much my reality, aside from usually having to chase Kins and Ryan around, since they love to press their limits and run into the road or down the sidewalk out of sight. You rock, Tina! Thanks for being so creative and spreading cheer!
More wise words from "It's Okay That You're Not Okay" by Megan Divine
One of my favorite breakfasts! I love a little sprinkle of garlic salt as well as a generous pinch of hemp hearts.
Also, I've resorted to a lot of paper plates these days.
Gearing up for my Zoom call for PBS NewsHour! It kinda came out of the blue and happened quickly. I added a "Media" tab at the top to capture the different clips we've been featured on, so if you want to check it out, you'll have to click on that and scroll down to the bottom.
I got us each a personalized water cup as part of the kids' Easter gifts this year. Can you guess how often the kids are actually using theirs? Grrrr!
Kendrick challenged me to a "snowball" fight. The issue was that his "snowballs" were basically half a snowman lol
I think I got him a few times more than he got me!
Matchy matchy! I have been really into bright florals lately for my accessories (and drinkware, apparently). They just make me smile!
It's so fun to watch the kiddos learn to write their own names! ♥ What hasn't been as much fun, however, is that now Ryan wants to write "R" on every.single.surface. Lots of magic erasers around here these days.
Apparently Kendrick thinks he's much taller than he really is and has no feet, tiny arms and no hands. He must've not really been into it or got stopped early, because he's usually pretty detail oriented.
A typical part of our mornings when dropping the boys off. I'd say they're doing a pretty darn good job trying to do their part to prevent spread here.
This is also part of it. I'm also not allowed to walk them back to the classroom: one of the teachers comes up to get them.
LOVING this app! If you haven't heard from me as much lately and you normally do, this is the reason. (I mean, either that, or one of a handful of projects I've been tackling around the house). It's a karaoke app, and I love singing without an audience lol
#JustMe
Another one of those "in action" photos Cashel snapped with my phone. A pretty normal part of my day. I know if I put a big push for it, Kinsley would be potty trained in short order, but I'm just not in the mood to deal with actual accidents, so for the time being, giving myself and her a little grace and just going with the flow.
So glad Mark insisted I try Swedish pancakes once. I finally have pretty well perfected the recipe (hint - sometimes you just have to add an extra egg or two and go a little bit thinner with the batter). The little ones especially have been super helpful in the kitchen lately.
I know I'm not alone in this (hello, 6lbs I had previously lost), but this whole "home all weekend every weekend" thing has brought baked goods I wouldn't typically have time to make. This is one of my very favorite cakes, and this was my very first time making it!
Literally covered in toddlers much of the day. If they aren't clinging to me like this, they're causing major messes, so I figure the lesser of two evils, right?
Lil' miss Kins passed out on our way to go fly kites at the farm on a day so windy half the kites broke. She adores her little kitty "Meow Meow" as well as the blankie that Kendrick bought her for Christmas last year.
He's reaching that age where I probably would've started sending him out with Daddy on a Saturday morning to help at the farm. Kendrick is a country boy at heart. It's hard for him not having his Dad at this phase in life. I do try to have him follow along when I do repairs and such, and he LOVES to be given a handful of screws and some boards to build something. (as an aside, yes, that's a dead raccooon, and no, he didn't touch it)
Oh, the treasures they find at the farm.
This guy also really loves it out at the farm. Heck, all the kids do. But the boys were like a little pack of wolves out there this time. I'm thinking one of these days soon, I'll take them out there to just build a fort or something out in the grove. They were eating it up like crazy!
We had a little time before our Chinese food was ready from Panda House (we happened to go down on what ended up being their last day open, period, which makes me so sad!), so we swung by to Dean and Barb's to do a little front lawn dance party for Barb and Grandma Vi. They said it was the most excitement they've had in a while lol
Another one of my favorite breakfasts: pancakes topped with an egg, bacon and syrup. Probably not quite as healthy as the avocado toast, but oh well!
It was back to the allergist for this guy this month. Still allergic to peanuts and tree nuts.
I so dearly miss two of the people in this picture. Loss is so hard :(
I feel like I'm slowly getting my groove back in the kitchen. I spent a really long time in the midst of the hardest season when my hair was on fire being completely incapable of making a good roast (it was always so dry) or, really, any good cut of meat. It's refreshing to make food that we all enjoy.
Distance learning is a little more fun at home.
This kid has been sneaky about his reading. He never wants to read aloud to me, and when I force it, he acts like I'm pulling teeth. AND YET...when I'm not paying attention, he'll read to his siblings and I can hear him in the background. I just let it be, but I think it's so sweet!
It's hammock season! This year, I've had the hammock in our front yard in the side pad of the driveway, and it has been wonderful!
Goodness is she ever fun! Also, I can't eat my quinoa around her, because homegirl steals it all.
Of course, if I actually made it for supper, she wouldn't eat it, so that plan doesn't work.
I was super bummed to find my favorite mug busted the other morning. I'll probably fix it, since it's a simple, clean break, but it sparked a thought on the morning I found it: Are all broken things worth fixing? Hmmm...I feel like I can sense a rambling blog post coming from that.
I feel like God has been pretty darn harsh with me lately. I've been in an insanely busy season of life, and yet when I plead to God for calm or peace, he tends to draw me to passages in Exodus about the "whiny" Israelites and reminders of how they suffered like that for 40 years in the desert. I constantly find myself rolling my eyes a bit (I know, I know), and thinking to myself, Geesh - can't you give me SOME encouragement here? I'm tired of being made to feel like complaining about stuff given my situation is me being eccentric. But then this...this here...I'm on board with THIS passage of scripture. It resonated with me a lot.
I did more of a recap on this post (Day 42) yesterday about all our home reno projects and the progress we've made, so go check that out for more on that for more pertaining to the entryway. However...here is the latest for the downstairs bathroom!.
Weight loss efforts drastically curtailed this month. Mirror cleaning efforts also curtailed.
The boys really miss their classmates, although they really don't talk about it too terribly much.
However, given the opportunity to do a video chat with some of his classmates, he was ECSTATIC! It was so fun to see him light up! They did a scavenger hunt around the house. Miss Kins wanted to get in on the action too lol I think we need to do video chats with our cousins and friends soon!
I think it's time I consolidated all the tools we've got floating around here. I can enver find what I'm looking for and end up dragging 3 tool boxes around to find the right-sized wrench or socket or drill bit or what not. I've been in "fix the broken stuff" and "paint all the things" mode lately. But seriously...I need a break!
Pink pants, a fun shirt, my favorite little 4 year old, and grilling: All some of my favorites!
I was bummed for quite some time last fall when, after buying myself flowers every week, realized that the reason I was feeling so crappy was because I'm allergic to flowers. Kendrick is allergic to alternaria mold as well, so that keeps any growing plant that requires soil to be out of the question as well. Enter fake plants and flowers! I can't wait for these to arrive to brighten up the entryway a tinge.
It has been FAR too long since this has been a regular thing at our house. Also, this woman single-handedly swapped out the manifest and ordered a few missing parts. I'm getting handier and handier as the days go on.
I come up from getting the little ones' jammies to find them in here checking out birdies in the yard and chatting with our neighbor Linda.
It makes me chuckle thinking that this is now my very favorite tea. See, I used to HATE it, but it was the ONLY thing that calmed my stomach in that first trimester period with each of my pregnancies.
By the end of 4 pregnancies, it's now my go-to in the late morning and early evening. after all my coffee is down the hatch.
A few things on this picture:
1) My Galaxy S9+ drives me nuts with how easily it takes screen shots. (this wasn't an intentional one - it seems to happen every time I attempt to adjust the volume)
2) This is one of my very best FTD Spouse friends, Brian. He is one of the most level-headed people I know. Great, great guy! We try to meet up for dinner or drinks every few months in Kato, but it has been too long!
3) As you can see, the poor guy gets to see me as I'm getting ready in the mornings on these polos some of the time lol Hot freaking mess!
Video chats with cousins are a favorite, even if they're a little blurry on account of all the movement.
Feels like an eternity again ♥ This was for Mark's 30th birthday.
Maybe you remember from last October that I had a sleep study. Turns out I had a pretty mild sleep apnea (1-2 events per hour). It qualified me for a CPAP machine that I used for a few months. Honestly, though, I never felt any more rested, even after 3 months of using it, and I had started getting headaches over the past few weeks from it, so I am retiring it, at least for now. It's really nice to not have to wear that mask at night anymore lol
This little guy is working hard at preschool, even with the quarantine going on. He's really into spelling his name, which I think is so cute.
Every once in a great while, the kids pull out the floor puzzles. I love seeing them do them, but it never lasts long, because inevitably, someone decides that racing around the house is a good idea and someone gets the floor knocked out from under them.
I added these pictures to my living room last year, and I still love seeing them at home. The 1st and 3rd ones are from my trip to Vancouver in 2018, and the 2nd and 4th ones are from a trip Mark and Cashel and I took to visit Mark's brother's family in Washington State in 2012.
Preschool homework is more fun than elementary school homework ;)
Kinsley is REALLY into helping in the kitchen lately.
Facebook post from April 4th. This is pretty much what my days look like with the kids home for long periods of time.
I've completely given up on caring what the kids wear in public unless it's not weather-appropriate or we're headed to church.
I finally got Miss Kins's 0-6 month book finished at the end of March and it came in early April.
I LOVE doing these books for the kids whenever I get a few extra minutes to sit down and do some digital scrapbooking.
So I've already banned any more fires for the rest of 2020. #DontAsk
Hot.Freaking.Mess.
My little mini me ♥
This is normal.
I'm slowly saying goodbye to little kid toys, of which this alligator is on the verge of going. I feel like I should be sadder about it, but I'm just not.
Until I get a hitch put on the Palisade, I can't attach a bike rack to go anywhere with the kids, so this was the compromise: They ride while I drive alongside them with the little two in tow.
I was thinking the other day, "Why is it that so many of my pictures depict this calm environment?
That is totally NOT the norm!" And then I realized that was because I didn't feel like taking pictures of my insane children when I was in the middle of losing my mind and all.
The day after I banned anymore fires in the fire pit, Kendrick miraculously forgot. He would NOT let it go about me having not done the marshmallows the night before, so I finally just decided to let them roast them by lighter. They were perfectly content, so I guess win-win, right?
I have to sign a care plan about every 6 months. It still makes my heart sink every time I am caught off guard with this.
Medical bills from 2019...for Mark alone.
Chlidcare has been extremely up and down over the past month. Schools closed, I scrambled, 2 options fell through for nannies, then the kids qualified for emergency childcare at the school, then the littles' daycare closed for 2 weeks, so then the kids started at a new daycare after a week at temporary childcare arrangements. Ryan spent a week going to the school with the big kids, but it was far too structured for him. Then, just as everything was settling again, our new daycare for the littles ended up having an allergic reaction that kept her out for the first three days of the next week, so in the end, I just ended up burning a couple vacation days and staying home.
My only grocery store visit in two months was quite a change from what it used to be. (I have been doing grocery pick up or delivery for the past 3 years). The major changes were that there were directional arrows with masking tape, a spot to stand on further back when waiting in line, signage up that directs only one person per family should come in, and a plexiglass shield put up to protect the cashiers with this little sign.
This little guy lights up my world! He's also 4. These two do not mesh well.
This is the last bike ride this kid will take without protective gear and his helmet. Totally biffed it going down a hill. He's quite the trooper though, and has hardly complained about it, aside from the peroxide stinging.
I LOVE nights like this one - family walks down to the park, hanging out together, gorgeous temps, the slightest breeze, and working up a sweat.
This was such a pleasant surprise in my inbox the other day! So proud of my kiddos and how hard they're working to get their schoolwork done. Cashel is VERY much a self-starter, and I know he really misses his teacher and friends at school. It's just good to hear such good news every once in a great while ♥
This bike is all of 2 years old, and Cashel is getting so tall that I'm not entirely sure it's going to be big enough for him by next year!
I'm going to be so sad when the day comes that I no longer have little kid art work on my fridge and all over the walls.
Our sweet friends Kimm and Gabriella brought us some cookies with this sweet little note attached. Let's just say that by the time I thought to take a picture of the cookies, they were already gone lol So...thank you, ladies!
I've been slowly picking away at a slideshow to commemorate Mark's life. It's certainly not something I've been powering away at lately, but I put in a couple hours while I was home so much. There's definitely a reason I don't pull out the photo books often, because this...it hurts.
I miss him so, so much. ♥ These two were in the midst of what we deemed "wedding season", in which I think we had 2 weddings a month for the summer. These particular two were for our friends Rach and Ben (pic 1) in Sioux Falls and Joe and Kala (pic 2) in New Ulm. And MAN did we ever look energetic! (This was a couple years still before having any kids lol)
I never really ever thought of us as a "power couple", but man...we brought the sass lol He was SO much fun back in the day - and the guy didn't drink at all, but MAN did he tear up the dance floor!
It still catches me off guard when I see the tape around the playgrounds :( While we do still like to frequent the parks themselves, having the playgrounds off limits has been HARD on the kids.
Cashel specifically asked for a picture proving how tall he was compared to me. Pretty soon we'll be the same height!
Love to video chat with this guy (especially now that he's not calling me 50 times a day like he did last summer)
The kids LOVE to do "funny faces" with Daddy on Facebook messenger. Their favorite, and the one that gets ALL of them rolling with laughter is the "foot face" one lol Also, this is pretty much all we see of Mark for a good chunk of our video chats. Either this tiny portion of his face, or his back while he walks away and out the door or to go lay in his bed.
Fairly typical weekend morning around here.
My eyes sparkle just a tinge more when I've had my coffee ;)
I'm afraid I pulled out the big guns too soon this spring already. I've threatened over a dozen times (in this specific hour long window) that we're no longer going for walks or bike rides at all the entire rest of the year. #ImpulsiveMuch? This kid takes FOREVER to do anything. And he whines about all of it. And when he doesn't feel like doing what we're doing, he legit takes his bike and puts it on its side and will sit in the middle of the road. I know many of you tell me that I'll miss these days, but I can, without a doubt, tell you that I will not miss this.
Nor will I miss this crap. In the course of a week, someone (I'm pretty sure I know who, Mr. Bull in a China shop) busted our fence locking mechanism AND busted all three valves (that Mark's brother had JUST replaced a few weeks prior) on the grill. I honestly try not to complain much about my situation in general, and I handle all the added basic household responsibilities, but this stuff enrages me! I did not handle it well and did a LOT of yelling and screaming before calling my sister and yelling and screaming at her to get it out of my system. I did end up finding the piece that broke off and re-securing it and it's holding up well, so I'm crossing my fingers here that by the time Ryan or Kinsley are strong enough to break it again, they'll be old enough to be in the front yard without me having to pull them out of the road 15 times an hour.
This picture makes me giggle lol I had gotten the kids clothes for Easter long before this virus stuff got serious, so I figured they'd better dress up in it, even if we weren't going to go anywhere, and then do our little Easter egg hunt around the back yard.
Johnson Family minus the big guy
Can someone tell me how in the world they got so big?? What intrigues me most about this picture is how tall Cashel is, but also how tall KINSLEY is! I mean, I know Ryan is kinda more my little shrimpo kid, but Kinsley - I mean, I think she's going to pass him up here shortly!
Her face here...♥
When the big kids snatch the camera. It's weird actually being in pictures that aren't selfies. It's also crazy that they're beginning to take pictures that aren't horrendously unflattering lol
I hadn't realized that Ryan had found Pac-man on his tablet. Talk about nostalgia! It brings me right on back to the Flag Pole in Warsaw as a kid where they had the big arcade game and we used to get those super giant banana splits that were the length of 2 or 3 picnic tables at the end of soccer season as a team. The bubble gum ice cream was the BEST!
Working my best to stimulate the local economy. #DuffysBarAndGrill I try to get takeout from somewhere locally at least once a week, although sometimes twice. It's so nice that they have delivery so I don't have to leave and go anywhere.
Kinsley has reached the "more clothes is better" phase I remember giggling about with my niece Caitlin. Goodness, this girl will have on no fewer than 5 pairs of pants at a time when she's home usually.
Prepping for a summer with possibly no pools open and no parks. The kids LOVE the basketball hoop, which arrived last Saturday. Also, isn't my friend Erica a knockout? She's one of my very best FTD spouse friends ♥ Love you, lady!
We took a short little trip to Mankato to drop some things off for Mark and saw these motivational signs. I kept thinking to myself for days afterwards about what "positive pants" must look like. I'm assuming there's elastic of some sort...
My dear friend Lauren gifted me this beautiful keychain, which I promptly attached to my car keys and then lost.
Turns out they were in my coat pocket, but I hadn't been wearing my coat all month. "IMUA" means "Moving Forward with Strength". I like it!
I've been chuckling at pandemic memes for a bit now, but for some reason, I think this is my favorite lol
My sweet friends Leesa and Waylon brought us supper one night - SO.YUMMY!!!!! Thank you so much, guys!
Every once in a great while, this happens. I'm SO ready to eventually (once the bathrooms and entryway are finished) get the peninsula installed back in the kitchen again to get the rest of the clutter off my counters!
It got a little interesting trying to figure out how to explain to the kids why Kinsley didn't get her kite from the Easter Bunny just yet. Also...Cashel now knows that the Easter Bunny isn't fo sho...so...yeah. At one point, I had Cashel and Kendrick in the one room, and Kendrick was a little suspicious, and Cashel looks at me, dead in the eyes, and says, "Mom, I think it's time we told him" lol Fair warning, Mamas with kids who are in Cashel's class: I have a feeling this Christmas is going to be "the one" where he realizes that Santa doesn't bring the presents. So two questions: 1) Is this typical for this age (he's 8, but will be almost 9 by Christmas), and 2) How the heck do you keep them from not telling all the people when they find out? I've never really played up Santa at home, it has been more of a thing where they talk to their friends and hype it up. I don't want him to ruin it for other peoples' kids.
This pretty well goes with both this post as well as this one, and I just love it!
This book has sat in my bathroom for years at this point, and I've not been able to get too far in it, if I'm being honest. It's not that I don't want to aspire to be this positive parent, but right now, I'm just trying to survive and all.
Anyone who knows me really well knows that I'm kinda obsessive about beets. I LOVE them. Growing up, I didn't know that this salad my maternal grandma made had them in them, but now I know why I love them. I was going to make this for Easter, but for some reason I keep buying raspberry jello instead of lemon jello and keep thinking I need to put crushed pineapple in it instead of just pineapple juice.
This is pretty much how "watching" our Easter service online went on Easter Sunday. I'm seriously fearing September when we'll likely be back to normal church services (maybe) and I have to then corral FOUR children during the service. I've decided to switch to watching Cornerstone Kids YouTube clips with them, and they really seem to be reacting well to that (they actually sit still there and watch).
My, oh my, how the times have changed.
This was the first really enjoyable time we've had dying eggs! The kids had fun with it, and no one was screaming or spilling the dye or breaking the eggs.
Easter was kinda a bust this year. I woke up on the cusp of a migraine that lingered until about 5pm. I am assuming it was mostly due to excessive stress coupled with dehydration, since, when I rested and drank lots of water, it subsided. I still put on the big meal, but I didn't end up eating any of it, and the kids weren't super on board with it either.
The kids have been a little obsessive about seasoning their food lately. While resting later, I ended up finding a salt and pepper bomb ALLLL over the living room.
Since this whole thing started, these two have been getting along SO much better! I know they've loved having more time at home in general (even if that changed once they started going to the emergency daycare program). It isn't like this all the time, but they seem to be bonding a lot more, whether it's building something, playing Minecraft or Roblox together, or cooking up something in the kitchen.
My sweet photographer friend Tina Mesner with Chrystina Jayne Photography in town here had this sweet idea to do "front porch" pictures for Easter this year. I had already taken some with my kiddos all dressed up on Friday, but later that day, after we had all changed back into our comfy clothes, she swung by and captured a couple photos lol This is pretty much my reality, aside from usually having to chase Kins and Ryan around, since they love to press their limits and run into the road or down the sidewalk out of sight. You rock, Tina! Thanks for being so creative and spreading cheer!
More wise words from "It's Okay That You're Not Okay" by Megan Divine
One of my favorite breakfasts! I love a little sprinkle of garlic salt as well as a generous pinch of hemp hearts.
Also, I've resorted to a lot of paper plates these days.
Gearing up for my Zoom call for PBS NewsHour! It kinda came out of the blue and happened quickly. I added a "Media" tab at the top to capture the different clips we've been featured on, so if you want to check it out, you'll have to click on that and scroll down to the bottom.
I got us each a personalized water cup as part of the kids' Easter gifts this year. Can you guess how often the kids are actually using theirs? Grrrr!
Kendrick challenged me to a "snowball" fight. The issue was that his "snowballs" were basically half a snowman lol
I think I got him a few times more than he got me!
Matchy matchy! I have been really into bright florals lately for my accessories (and drinkware, apparently). They just make me smile!
It's so fun to watch the kiddos learn to write their own names! ♥ What hasn't been as much fun, however, is that now Ryan wants to write "R" on every.single.surface. Lots of magic erasers around here these days.
Apparently Kendrick thinks he's much taller than he really is and has no feet, tiny arms and no hands. He must've not really been into it or got stopped early, because he's usually pretty detail oriented.
A typical part of our mornings when dropping the boys off. I'd say they're doing a pretty darn good job trying to do their part to prevent spread here.
This is also part of it. I'm also not allowed to walk them back to the classroom: one of the teachers comes up to get them.
LOVING this app! If you haven't heard from me as much lately and you normally do, this is the reason. (I mean, either that, or one of a handful of projects I've been tackling around the house). It's a karaoke app, and I love singing without an audience lol
#JustMe
Another one of those "in action" photos Cashel snapped with my phone. A pretty normal part of my day. I know if I put a big push for it, Kinsley would be potty trained in short order, but I'm just not in the mood to deal with actual accidents, so for the time being, giving myself and her a little grace and just going with the flow.
So glad Mark insisted I try Swedish pancakes once. I finally have pretty well perfected the recipe (hint - sometimes you just have to add an extra egg or two and go a little bit thinner with the batter). The little ones especially have been super helpful in the kitchen lately.
I know I'm not alone in this (hello, 6lbs I had previously lost), but this whole "home all weekend every weekend" thing has brought baked goods I wouldn't typically have time to make. This is one of my very favorite cakes, and this was my very first time making it!
Literally covered in toddlers much of the day. If they aren't clinging to me like this, they're causing major messes, so I figure the lesser of two evils, right?
Lil' miss Kins passed out on our way to go fly kites at the farm on a day so windy half the kites broke. She adores her little kitty "Meow Meow" as well as the blankie that Kendrick bought her for Christmas last year.
He's reaching that age where I probably would've started sending him out with Daddy on a Saturday morning to help at the farm. Kendrick is a country boy at heart. It's hard for him not having his Dad at this phase in life. I do try to have him follow along when I do repairs and such, and he LOVES to be given a handful of screws and some boards to build something. (as an aside, yes, that's a dead raccooon, and no, he didn't touch it)
Oh, the treasures they find at the farm.
This guy also really loves it out at the farm. Heck, all the kids do. But the boys were like a little pack of wolves out there this time. I'm thinking one of these days soon, I'll take them out there to just build a fort or something out in the grove. They were eating it up like crazy!
We had a little time before our Chinese food was ready from Panda House (we happened to go down on what ended up being their last day open, period, which makes me so sad!), so we swung by to Dean and Barb's to do a little front lawn dance party for Barb and Grandma Vi. They said it was the most excitement they've had in a while lol
Another one of my favorite breakfasts: pancakes topped with an egg, bacon and syrup. Probably not quite as healthy as the avocado toast, but oh well!
It was back to the allergist for this guy this month. Still allergic to peanuts and tree nuts.
I so dearly miss two of the people in this picture. Loss is so hard :(
I feel like I'm slowly getting my groove back in the kitchen. I spent a really long time in the midst of the hardest season when my hair was on fire being completely incapable of making a good roast (it was always so dry) or, really, any good cut of meat. It's refreshing to make food that we all enjoy.
Distance learning is a little more fun at home.
This kid has been sneaky about his reading. He never wants to read aloud to me, and when I force it, he acts like I'm pulling teeth. AND YET...when I'm not paying attention, he'll read to his siblings and I can hear him in the background. I just let it be, but I think it's so sweet!
It's hammock season! This year, I've had the hammock in our front yard in the side pad of the driveway, and it has been wonderful!
Goodness is she ever fun! Also, I can't eat my quinoa around her, because homegirl steals it all.
Of course, if I actually made it for supper, she wouldn't eat it, so that plan doesn't work.
I was super bummed to find my favorite mug busted the other morning. I'll probably fix it, since it's a simple, clean break, but it sparked a thought on the morning I found it: Are all broken things worth fixing? Hmmm...I feel like I can sense a rambling blog post coming from that.
I feel like God has been pretty darn harsh with me lately. I've been in an insanely busy season of life, and yet when I plead to God for calm or peace, he tends to draw me to passages in Exodus about the "whiny" Israelites and reminders of how they suffered like that for 40 years in the desert. I constantly find myself rolling my eyes a bit (I know, I know), and thinking to myself, Geesh - can't you give me SOME encouragement here? I'm tired of being made to feel like complaining about stuff given my situation is me being eccentric. But then this...this here...I'm on board with THIS passage of scripture. It resonated with me a lot.
I did more of a recap on this post (Day 42) yesterday about all our home reno projects and the progress we've made, so go check that out for more on that for more pertaining to the entryway. However...here is the latest for the downstairs bathroom!.
Weight loss efforts drastically curtailed this month. Mirror cleaning efforts also curtailed.
The boys really miss their classmates, although they really don't talk about it too terribly much.
However, given the opportunity to do a video chat with some of his classmates, he was ECSTATIC! It was so fun to see him light up! They did a scavenger hunt around the house. Miss Kins wanted to get in on the action too lol I think we need to do video chats with our cousins and friends soon!
I think it's time I consolidated all the tools we've got floating around here. I can enver find what I'm looking for and end up dragging 3 tool boxes around to find the right-sized wrench or socket or drill bit or what not. I've been in "fix the broken stuff" and "paint all the things" mode lately. But seriously...I need a break!
Pink pants, a fun shirt, my favorite little 4 year old, and grilling: All some of my favorites!
I was bummed for quite some time last fall when, after buying myself flowers every week, realized that the reason I was feeling so crappy was because I'm allergic to flowers. Kendrick is allergic to alternaria mold as well, so that keeps any growing plant that requires soil to be out of the question as well. Enter fake plants and flowers! I can't wait for these to arrive to brighten up the entryway a tinge.
It has been FAR too long since this has been a regular thing at our house. Also, this woman single-handedly swapped out the manifest and ordered a few missing parts. I'm getting handier and handier as the days go on.
I come up from getting the little ones' jammies to find them in here checking out birdies in the yard and chatting with our neighbor Linda.
