Impact Statement

Yesterday, I faced the woman who hit and killed my Dad last June. It sure was a rough morning. She will be in a women's prison for 10 months and then have a chance for reconsideration. Her sentence is 10 years. Please be praying for our family as we continue to mourn the loss of such a wonderful man. Please also be praying for Georgia's family, and for strength for her. Perhaps through all this, she will come to know the Lord.



How My Father’s Death (Lance Ropte) has Impacted Me
by: Amy Johnson

It has been almost a year since Dad died, and I still find myself in disbelief each and every day. I still find myself saying, “I have to call Dad and tell him about this!” and then coming to the sad realization that I can’t. In fact, at first, there were times when I’d dial his phone number only to reach the “This number is no longer in service” message.

Working in the agriculture industry, the more I become acquainted with the new equipment and technology, the first person I think of is my Dad, and how much I want to call and tell him about how cool our newest system works, and to feel him out on it. I can now appreciate his fascination with the farm and the land, and now he’s not here to share it with me.

I know I still have my memories of my Dad, but they’re so much more bittersweet now that he’s not here to reinforce them. He was always there to make me laugh, to share in my successes, and to encourage me when I failed. He’d always remind me to “hold your horses”, and not jump to conclusions. My Dad was my steady voice, constantly reminding me to just take the next step. He is such a large part of who I am today, and now I find myself so lost without him.

Going “home” to the farm is just not the same anymore. He's not going to come bursting through the door at 8 o'clock to give me a big hug and kiss and to tell me all about his little sheep, or to talk about married life, and how things are going for us – and all our plans for the future.

I think perhaps the hardest thing for me right now is to think about how a year and a half ago, Dad walked me down the aisle at my wedding. And now, a year and a half later, my little sister doesn’t get the same honor. She doesn’t get her Daddy to walk her down the aisle, or to dance with her during the Father/Daughter dance. He and Mom raised six phenomenal children, and the fact that he won’t be able to see four of his six children marry and start families of their own makes me just sick.

He only got to see his first grandson three times, and was just a few weeks away from seeing his first granddaughter. They will have no memories of their Grandpa, and they will never know just exactly what a wonderful man he was. He also won’t be there when any of the rest of his grandchildren are born. My future children won’t have the same wacky, fun, spontaneous Grandpa I always knew as my Dad. He won’t be there to hold them in his arms. He won’t be there to show them around the farm and tell them crazy old stories about when he was a kid. They won’t have the honor of knowing him the way we all did. He won’t be there to teach them how to ride a bike or fish.

Dad also won’t be there to take care of Mom, to be there with her to support her as she battles Parkinson’s. It has been so hard over the past few years to watch my Mom slowly decline in health, but knowing my Dad would be there to help her through it made things seem somehow better. He was so good with her – always so patient, kind, loving, understanding, and encouraging. His death has left all us kids now thinking of the future, and how we can prepare for a future in which we’ll be forced to deal with how to best care for Mom when we all know the one who could care for her best was Dad.

Georgia, I fully realize that you had no intentions of killing my Dad on June 14. Yet I struggle between feeling the desire to forgive you and being overcome with frustration and anger. I realize that while we were all sleeping soundly that night, you were experiencing something so appalling that we can’t even imagine. I realize that you are scarred for life after what you went through that night. I know you have been through an incredible amount of pain and suffering through this whole experience. I know you didn’t intend for this to happen, and I know if you could take it all back, you would.


I don’t consider you a cold, callus person: You just made a horrible error in judgment that night. You decided to get behind the wheel after drinking, and due to your error in judgment we now have a huge emotional, physical, and financial burden to bear throughout many more years.

One of the things that my Dad instilled in me since I was a child was that actions have consequences, and that if we made the conscious choice to do the wrong thing, we would need to live with those consequences. The decision you made cost my siblings and I our Dad; my Mom the love of her life; our future children their Grandpa. Your decision also took the life of a man who served his country proudly for over twenty-five years.

While there is nothing I can do or say to lessen the loss we all have felt through this tragedy, I do know that one day I will see my Dad again: For that day, I have nothing but anticipation. One of the greatest things my Dad taught me was to have a reverence and awe of our Lord. While I can sit here and try to blame you for taking my father’s life, I am reminded that while you may have been instrumental in ending his life here on earth, he is now rejoicing with the Lord.

I want you to know that I pray for you, that the Lord would show himself to you and comfort you. If it weren’t for the Lord, I would have no comfort right now. But because of his grace and mercy, please know that the same can be true for you as well. Because Christ died on the cross for me and saved me from all condemnation, I am in absolutely no position to condemn you, Georgia. I know that you still have a long, grueling journey ahead of you, but I want you to know that I forgive you.

Horrible Customer Service

The past 2 days have most certainly been trying my patience! I seldom (if ever) get so angry that I shake, but the past 2 days this has happened twice!

Yesterday over my lunch break, I headed over for a quick lunch at Spicy Pickle and then a short shopping trip to TJ Maxx. I found this really cute dress at TJ Maxx, so I tried it on and then headed up to the checkout. There was a pretty long line (3 medium to large sized carts) in front of me, but the checker had called up 2 other checkers to speed up the process. The second checker came up and took the next person in line, and the first checker had finished checking out the first person in line, so there was just one person in front of me now. Behind me, quite a line had formed (about 4 other largish carts and a girl right behind me who, like myself, had only one item). Well, the checker called up another 2 people to help check, so I was a bit relieved, as I'd already been standing in line for 10 minutes! However, those other two checkers grabbed customers at the END of the line - people who had barely even been standing there 30 seconds! I waited 23 minutes in line to purchase ONE dress! I was so irate by the time I got to the checker that I had to refrain myself from screaming at the top of my lungs at her! I did give her a very stern talking to..."Excuse me, ma'am - I don't mean to be rude, but I've been standing in line for over 20 minutes along with this other girl, and it was incredibly inconsiderate of you to grab that lady with a whole cart full of things who had been standing there such a short amount of time. I understand that it's busy, but that doesn't mean that everyone else should be helped before those of us who were first in line." It took me 45 seconds to check out. I was shaking for almost an hour afterwards!!

Then tonight, we went to eat at one of our favorite places in town, and they just so happened to have a large party in their back room. Of course, no one told us that until we'd been sitting there about a half hour. It took them 15 minutes to even acknowledge that we were there, and then another 10 minutes after that to take our orders. It took 50 minutes after we placed our order to even get our salads, and another 10 minutes after that to get our food! Then, after waiting another 10 minutes to get our bill, we had had enough after 10 minutes of waiting for the waitress to come and pick up our credit card, so I wrote a check for the exact amount, wrote "VERY disappointed with the service" at the bottom, and circled the items on our bill and wrote "It took almost 2 hours for us to get bar food". Again - I was so furious I was shaking!

I think what bugs me the most about these types of situations is that while I am the one who is getting such horrible service, I get so angry that I turn into a monster! And I absolutely HATE being that way - I hate being rude! I hate it when my patience is tried so much that I feel like being violent!

Sorry for the vent - just HAD to get that all out before I burst! :)

Wednesday Monotony

I guess I shouldn't really title this "Wednesday Monotony", since a lot of exciting things are happening this week! For one thing, last night I got my new cookware set, and it is so freaking sweet! I don't think Mark has seen me so giddy! lol (And so excited to clean my new pots and pans!) It's a sort of be-lated Christmas present for me - we just now found a good deal on them. And within an hour of opening up all the pots and pans, I promptly ruined my first meal in them lol Well...it wasn't SO bad, but I couldn't remember whether or not I was supposed to put mustard in my homemade bbq recipe, so I just put it in, and while it wasn't really that bad, it wasn't my best. I suppose that while I seldom cook with an actual recipe, I really ought to actually write the recipe down so I don't make these mistakes regularly.

Today at 4:30 we close on the Eleanor house! I stopped by there on my way home from work to pick up the dehumidifier and a few other odds and ends, and man was that weird. It'll be the last time to be in the house we put so much blood, sweat and tears into, and it's such a huge accomplishment for us. We're like proud parents watching our baby ride a bike for the first time or something lol

This weekend, we're headed up to the cities for a HS buddy of mine's wedding, and we're both super excited about that! After reading through the wedding party on their RSVP site, I realized I actually know more than half of them from HS, which is cool! I went to get their gift earlier this week, and once again had that "I want one of those too!" moments, where I find the perfect gift, it's the last one they've got (can't get anymore in), and I want it too! lol

In other news, I'm still just so grateful to have my new car to drive! We had been taking the MMC (Mark's car) everywhere for the past few days, and then I drove to Sioux Falls yesterday and had another wave of excitement come - especially with all the fabulous weather (it's in the 40s here!). I felt like a teenager again - blasting music with my shades on and windows down lol Of course, that was short-lived when I got on I-90 to head home :)

Well, I'd better focus a bit here - hope all is well!

Amy

Writing the Impact Statement

I'm struggling today, to find the words to write. Mom said the impact statements for the judge are due on Monday. Kinda a rough day, when I have to try to rehash last June all over again in order to compose something that slightly resembles an impact statement.

I've always been good with words, but I find myself stonewalling on this; Trying to put it off. How exactly do they expect me to write in words what this woman has done to our lives? How can I sit here and write something that may impact just exactly how long she is in prison? I struggle back and forth with forgiveness, and that makes it even harder to know what to say or do.

I think it would be a lot easier if there wasn't someone to blame for killing my Dad. It makes it all too easy to stay angry at her, and then shell up and try to forget about it. I honestly don't know how I feel about her.

I keep to myself a lot more, and it's difficult to explain to anyone how exactly it feels to lose a parent. It's even more difficult to know how to deal with people who take everything for granted. Sometimes I just want to slap people upside the head for thinking life is all about themselves, and how petty their problems are in the big scheme of things. But since that isn't my tendency, I just continue to keep quiet.

I guess I've got it better than a lot of other people - at least I know without a doubt that I'll see my Dad again in Heaven. I can't even fathom what it would feel like if I didn't have that assurance.

So I guess I'm asking for prayer - to know how to best put into words the impact that this woman's mistake has had on my life. And also to have enough compassion to one day forgive her for this.

You Are My Friend (from cousin Megan)

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces here -
just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsiness.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.

Love and Respect

Recently at our church, we've been doing a study on Love and Respect, which truly has revolutionized how I look at my husband. There are so many things I hadn't thought about before this study. It has opened my eyes SO much as to the things I fail to do as a wife (and for that matter, a person), and how I many times, unknowingly, burst Mark's bubble.

The basic gist of the study: Women need love; Men need respect. This is based off Ephesians 5:33 - "However, each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

Some highlights of the study for me:

1) I need to unconditionally respect my husband, regardless of what he does. Mark needs to know that I value him, whether he is right or wrong. I need to support him and his decisions, even when they might be the wrong ones. He needs to know that no matter what, I will be there for him, and that I'm not going to walk away when he says or does the wrong thing. When everyone else is kicking him while he's down, I need to be there to build him back up.

2) I cannot blame my husband (or others) for the way I react. It is my responsibility to determine how I will react, and that is the ONLY thing I will be judged for. My response is my responsibility. And adding on to that, I have to constantly remember that I will not be held responsible for the way that someone else responds to the things I do or say, and that I can't beat myself up about it. I have to take responsibility for the things I've done or said and own up to them - whether they be 20% my fault, or 80% my fault. My husband does not cause me to be the way I am, he reveals the way I am.

3) The key to motivating another person is by meeting their deepest need.

4) It is okay for my husband to have a need that I don't have and I need to respect that. In the same way, it is okay for me to have a need that my husband does not have.

5) The one who is most mature moves 1st. This is in regard to arguments - isn't it so easy to "stonewall" and give the other person the silent treatment? It's so important to deal with the issues and not put them off. Of course, sometimes you do need time to cool off so you don't say things you regret.

6) The Devil does everything to get us together before marriage, and everything to seprate us after marriage. We need to realize that the Devil is trying to constantly attack our marriage, and that we need to be prepared!

7) We don't lack ability, we lack incentive. We all have the ability to have a good attitude, but we choose not to.

8) My husband is not out to get me - he loves me and wants only the best for me. This is SO easy to forget sometimes! When I feel hurt or offended, I have to keep in mind that Mark is not being malicious - even when sometimes I may feel otherwise. It's so easy for me to get emotional and let those emotions drive me, and I have to stop and think first.

Anyways - those are just some thoughts, and the things I've taken away from this study. I feel so lucky and so blessed to know that we have these types of resources! Hopefully some of these encourage you!

Amy

February 2008 Newsletter

March 3, 2008

Well, I feel like I was just writing about January, and here February is over and done with too! What a whirlwind month this was, but not without some major events!

Starting February off right, we went to Mark's cousin, Brian's hockey game in Fairmont, MN. Beforehand, we met up with Uncle Roger and Aunt Cathy for dinner at Perkins and visited a while. After Perkins, we enjoyed the game - and they won!

The next day, we had decided we were going to go up around the New Ulm area to check out a newer model Monte Carlo for Mark. On the way to the dealership, we stopped at Jensen Motors in New Ulm and test drove a 2007 Grand Prix. We made our way to the other dealership, only to find out that the Monte Carlo was actually a bluish-purple color, so Mark decided to pass on it. Instead, we decided to buy the Grand Prix for me! I finally was able to pick it up that next Wednesday - and what a difference!

Mark and I had a pretty eventful day on that next Saturday (the 9th) as an early celebration of Valentine's Day :) I got to go to the scrapbook superstore, after which we ate lunch at HuHot. After lunch, we went to see Into the Wild. After the movie, we went and checked into our hotel in downtown Sioux Falls and sat in the hot tub for a little while. We met up with Mark's Aunt and Uncle for dinner at Minerva's, and then went to the Symphony with tickets I got for free from work.

After the Symphony, we went back to the hotel and sat in front of the fire for a while before heading up to bed. There was a bug in the fire alarm system at the hotel that night, though, which made for a pretty junky night of sleep. We got woken up 3 times! But overall, we had such a wonderful time :)

We heard that my Grandma wasn't doing very well, and that she wouldn't be with us much longer, so Mark and I drove my mom out to Michigan the next weekend for a quick trip to see her. Dan and Sarah joined us (as did little Jacob and Hannah) :) and we celebrated Dan and Mom's birthdays on Friday night at Red Robin.

Saturday in the late morning, we went to visit Grandma, which was a pretty tough time, as she looked so emaciated and run down, not to mention bruised and battered after a nasty fall she took a few weeks before. After visiting Grandma, we joined my cousins Cheryl and cute little preggo Katy, Cheryl's daughter, Sarah, and my other cousin Christy's daughter, Maggie, for lunch at Broadway Cafe. Mark and I went with Katy to pick up a few things at Meijer, and then went to see Katy and Jake's house. Shortly after that, I went shopping with Sarah and little Hannah Joy at Target, and then back to the hotel to pick up Dan and Jacob. We all went back to Katy and Jake's for pizza and visiting. My cousin Bryan and his friend Ted also stopped over for a while.

After pizza at Jake and Katy's, we headed back to the hotel for swimming and then facials. it was a super late night, but I think we definitely had a good time :)

Sunday morning, we got up early to take off and try to beat the bad weather to get home, and got all the way through Illinois before deciding we didn't want to chance the blizzard ahead, and we pulled over to get a hotel in Moline, IL. After about 3 hours in the hotel, we didn't think things looked too bad out, so we got half the cost of our room back, and started back on the road. It is 100% of the Lord that we made it home that night! Since we stayed in Moline for 3 hours, we avoided the majority of the horrible blizzard, and while the roads were still beyond horrendous, we made it home! We counted 193 cars in the ditch (7 of them being semis)!! And had we not stopped in Moline, we would've been car 194!

It was a pretty crazy weekend, but it was good to see everyone, and nice to be able to celebrate Dan's birthday with him this year! The Lord continues to blow me away with how faithful he is, and how he watches over us!

Unfortunately (and fortunately), Grandma didn't make it much longer, so we made the 12-hour return trip less than 2 weeks later for Grandma's funeral. For the first time in probably 10 years all my mom's side of extended family all came together in Michigan to say goodbye to Grandma. After being in and out of hospice care for the past few years, she's finally gone home to be with Jesus, Grandpa, and Dad :)

Mark and I drove out Thursday morning and arrived after a long, grueling drive with about an hour left of the visitation. After the visitation, we all went over to Christy & John's house in Zeeland for dinner and visiting with the extended family. After that, Mark and I went back over to Katy & Jake's for the night. We were up the next morning and visited with Katy over breakfast, and then headed to the church a little early for Grandma's funeral.

After the funeral, we had a luncheon at the church, and then everyone headed their separate ways for a while. Mark and I went to make a return at the mall, after which we got caught up there for a good couple hours. After the mall, we headed back to the hotel to hang out with the family. Shortly afterwards, my old college roommate, Missy, called me up and came to pick me up for coffee in downtown Holland at JPs. Was SO fun to meet up with her and catch up!

A little while later, we met up with the family back at the hotel, and then (after a few wrong turns) made our way to dinner at Crazy Horse which, by the way, has fantastic ribs! Afterwards, we headed back to Katy & Jake's house for bed.

The next morning, I met MIssy at Perkin's for breakfast so we could hang out a little more after our coffee time got cut a little short. I went back to Katy and Jake's to finish packing the car and pick up Mark, and then we headed over to Christy's for Katy (and soon-to-be-little-Berrit)'s baby shower. Mark and I had to cut out a little early, though, to get started on our LONG drive home.

Well, it's finally Friday, and is DEFINITELY time to get off the computer and make some plans! :)

Amy

Update: Eleanor House

Well, we accepted an offer on the Eleanor House!! We're finally selling it, and none too soon :) We're so excited how the Lord has worked in our lives the past 9 months with this house, and we're excited to see the new things he will do! It's sorta bittersweet, really, as I really loved that house, and kept going back and forth in my mind, wondering if we should've made it our home and sold the house in Windom. BUT...I know the buyer will love it just as much (if not more), and that's exciting :) We should be closing on it in a couple weeks, although the buyer has expressed that the sooner the better, so maybe even before then!

Please be praying that everything goes fine, and that there aren't any complications!

Grandma Cole's Obituary via HollandSentinel.com

Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Ida Mae Cole, 89

Ida Mae Cole, age 89, a long time resident of the Holland/Zeeland area, went to be with Jesus on Sunday, February 24, 2008, at Heritage Nursing Home in Zeeland following a lengthy illness. She was born October 8, 1918, in Millbrook Township, Mecosta County, Michigan, to Richard and Daisy Fountain. On December 2, 1939, she married Roger Foster Cole. They made their home in Lansing, Michigan until they moved their family to Holland in 1957.
Ida was a member of Immanuel Church where she served for a number of years on the Missionary Committee, as a Sunday school teacher, and as a leader and treasurer for the Pioneer Girls program. For several years, Mrs. Cole held Good New Clubs meetings in her home during the summer months for the children in her neighborhood, as well as hosting a Bible Study group for women. Ida will be remembered by many as a woman of prayer who deeply loved Jesus and shared His love with anyone willing to listen.

Ida is survived by three daughters and one son, Nancy Snyder of Holland, MI, Ruth Ropte of Humboldt, IA, Gayle & Eric Johnson of Nashville, TN, and Ken & Victoria Cole currently living in Kuwait. She is also survived by two sisters and one brother, Virginia Hutson of Blanchard, MI, Betty May of Folsom, CA, and Arnold (Ike) Fountain of Welston, OH.

Ida leaves behind 15 grandchildren, Christy & John McGeehan, Cheryl & Paul Saxton, Bryan Snyder, Wesley Snyder, Katy & Jake Woodbury; David Ropte, Dan & Sarah Ropte, Amy & Mark Johnson, Joshua Ropte, Amanda Ropte and fiancee Michael, Jason Ropte, Ben, Rachel & Asher Johnson, and Jordan Cole; 11 great-grandchildren, Travis, Graham, Maggie & Branch McGeehan; Curt, Greg, Kellie & Sarah Saxton; Jacob & Hannah Ropte, and baby Woodbury due in April; sisters & brother in-law, and several nieces and nephews.

Ida is preceded in death by her husband, Roger Foster Cole in 1997; a son, Douglas Leroy in 1943; a daughter, Sarah Elizabeth in 1960; a son-in-law, Lance Ropte in 2007; her parents, Richard Fountain in 1947 and Daisy Fountain in 1984; two sisters, Marie Stephenson in 1980, and Rose French in 1992; and three brothers, George Fountain in 1939, James Fountain in 1959, and Harold Fountain in 1964.

Services for Mrs. Cole will be Friday, February 29, 2008 at 11:00 a.m. at Immanuel Church, 97 West 22nd Street in Holland, with Rev. Robert Terpstra officiating. Burial will be in Pilgrim Home Cemetery. Visitation with her family will be Thursday, February 28 from 5:00-8:00 p.m. at Notier-Ver Lee-Langeland Funeral Home, 315 East 16th Street in Holland. Memorials may be made to Immanuel Church Missionary or Expansion funds or toHospice of Holland. An online registry is available at www.notierverleelangeland.com.

Michigan twice in three weeks!

Well, life for Mark and I has been pretty crazy the past few weeks, as we've taken two trips to Michigan in the past three weeks. Once, to see my Grandma Cole before she passed, and once again just this past weekend for her funeral. We praise the Lord he has kept us safe both there and back two times!

We are so grateful to the Lord that he has taken Grandma home! We're so excited that she is no longer in pain, and that she is finally able to walk, and to talk, and to hear, and to see again! While it's always a hard thing to say goodbye, we know we will see her again one day, and we look forward to that day!

It was a lot of fun catching up with all the extended family, some of whom we haven't seen in probably 12 years! Hopefully we'll see many of them at Amanda and Michael's wedding in June in Iowa!!

Before we left for Michigan, Mark and I had dinner with Gretchen and Ryan in Worthington at Ground Round, and had a good time catching up! I also got my bridesmaid dress for their wedding in July, which was exciting!!

While in Michigan, I was also able to play catch up with my old college roommate, Missy! We had coffee at JP's Friday afternoon, and then breakfast at Perkin's Saturday morning. We had a blast catching up and reminiscing about old college days and all the fun and crazy things we did lol

Well, company will be here shortly, so I'd better get going! God bless!

Amy