Eulogy for my Dad

My dad was an amazing man, and I have so many incredible memories of him, which will stay with me forever.

I remember going to find my first car with my dad. I was embarrassed beyond belief when we went to the dealership, and my dad walked around kicking all the tires on the cars, and making some sort of guttural sound while trying to low-ball the dealers. We had been looking all over the place for a car for me, but were having a hard time agreeing on exactly the right one. One night, we ended up at Smithway, where he had carefully selected this horrific looking beast of a car for me to buy. He just went on and on for a good 20 minutes about the great engine in it, and all the wonderful things this car had to offer. All I could see was that it had about 6 different colors and that it sounded like a scary monster when he started it up and took me on a test drive. I didn’t end up getting that car, but instead got a ford probe, but I did learn a good lesson a few months down the road. After paying about 3 times the value of the car for repairs, I realized that my dad was right about the car. My dad taught me that sometimes things (and people) aren’t always what they seem, and my dad was always so good at looking past the exterior to see what is deep down inside.

My dad taught me that there is no gray space in between right and wrong – we could either do the right thing or the wrong thing, and that we’d need to live with our choices.

My dad taught me that money can’t solve your problems, and that if your goal in life is to have money and things, that you’ll never be happy. Some of my favorite memories of my dad were when he took us kids on walks down to the bait & tackle shop to get a couple cans of pop, which we all shared on the way home. We never needed things – just each other.

My dad taught me that to get anywhere in life, you have to work hard, and you have to do the job right. Sometimes I wish that my dad didn’t instill this quality in me as a kid, because it makes things much more difficult when you have to do things the right way.

I remember going to Grissom Air Force Base with my dad, and seeing what he did in the radar room. It always felt so important to go on base and see all the officers and guardsmen. I couldn’t be more proud of my dad when he was in uniform, and I know he felt a great sense of pride for his country.

While we are grieving our father this Father’s Day, we know that he is having the best Father’s Day ever – and that even tops the promise of specialty mustards and ring bologna.

It seems so unfair and so wrong that something so awful could happen to someone that I love so much. The only way I’ve been able to make it through these past few days has been the assurance and hope that my Dad is being held by our Lord.

1 Thessalonians 4:13 says “But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as those who have no hope.” And though I still sorrow and grieve the loss of my Dad, it is not the same sorrow as those who have no hope. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a life without Christ as my rock.

Anyone who has ever met my dad can’t help but have a smile on their face today – even through all the tears. My dad’s mission in life was to exude joy and compassion, and to do it while having the best time of his life. So today, although we are overwhelmed by grief, let’s make our best attempt to be joyful, and honor our father, friend, husband, brother, uncle, co-worker, and grandpa.

I found this poem, and felt like it described my Dad to a "T":

“Your dreams were all for us, Dad – all for us
You traded your own dreams to purchase ours
Willing to accept lesser opportunities
So that we could have every opportunity

Every possibility
Every chance for a good education
Every security and confidence
Everything!

And our dreams became your hopes and aspirations
We knew that we were never alone in our dreams
For you were right there with us

We have a life that was paid for in advance
Through the difficult and dedicated efforts of a loving father
Who traded the best years of his own life
To make sure we’d have the best years of ours

"Falls On Me" by Fuel

I've seen you hanging round
This darkness where I'm bound
And this black hole I've dug for me
And silently within
With hands touching skin
The shock breaks my disease
And I can breathe

[Chorus]
And all of your weight
All you dream
Falls on me it falls on me
And your beautiful sky
The light you bring
Falls on me it falls on me

Your faith like the pain
Draws me in again
She washes all my wounds for me
The darkness in my veins
I never could explain
And I wonder if you ever see
Will you still believe?

[Chorus]

Am I that strong
To carry on?
I might change your life
I might save my world
Could you save me?

[Chorus X 2]

"Tomorrow" by Out of Eden

There are times in our lives
When we all feel inside
Something's wrong, there's gotta be
Something better for me
So we try on our own
To change our paths,
But we don't realize that joy comes after rain
And Life begins again

Chorus:
Tomorrow
Is a better day
Tomorrow
You will see the way
When God is by your side to stay
Just keep on movin', don't you dare give up

There are times, times we
Can be swayed so easily
Doubt can come in my mind
And I'm ready to give up this time
But I've got to keep on goin', got to keep on movin'
Got to keep on pressing it through
'Cause I know my God is able, oh He's more than able
It's no thing to take care of you, I say....

Repeat Chorus

Bridge
He knows of everything you're goin' though
Has enough love to take good care of you
You know exactly what you need to do
So just keep movin', don't you dare give up
He knows of everything you're goin' though
Has enough love to take good care of you
You know exactly what you need to do
So just keep movin'

Repeat Chorus

Long Tuesday...Disappointing Wednesday

I wasn't entirely sure I was going to be able to get out of bed this morning. I'm pretty sure I hit "snooze" about 15 times. Luckily, it's my day to work from home, so I just woke up 20 minutes later.

I worked in Sioux Falls yesterday, which means up at 5:20am and on the road by 6:30. It was a pretty productive day work-wise, which was nice. Holly and I went to Puerta for lunch and then to Walgreens for a bit. After work, I made my way across town to Lowe's to order a front storm door and entry door for the Eleanor house, so I didn't make it out of town until 6:30. For some strange reason, I decided to run around the lake (about 4 and a half miles) - which leaves me completely exhausted today...hence, paragraph 1 of this update :) What I don't understand is how feet can hurt so stinkin much, and yet they still work!

Mark had a church softball game at 9 last night, which they WON 28-8!! I'm not sure why they felt that they needed to schedule the game so late, but oh well. We got home around 11 or so, and showered up/went to bed.

Stepped on the scale this morning, and was once again disappointed. I was supposed to reach my 165 goal on July 1, but I only have 4 days left, and I weighed in at 168.2 this morning. (Disclaimer: I'm really not obsessive about 3.2 lbs, except for the fact that I set a goal in January to drop 30 lbs by July 1...so although I've done a great job and dropped 26.8 lbs, it's frustrating that I won't be meeting my goal...at least not healthily, at this point) Oh well...such is life, I guess.

I've been listening to a lot of good stuff lately, but my favorite song right now is most definitely "Tomorrow" by Out of Eden, followed closely by "Falls On Me" by Fuel. I'll post the lyrics to both here too...

Well, I'd best focus a little more on working...

Thoughts on a Monday morning

It actually feels good to be back in the swing of things on this beautiful monday morning. After the numbing week last week with my dad's funeral, I'm trying to look ahead to things to come. I went for a short run this morning, and then talked to my mom for a little while. She's holding up alright, but what a huge blow for her, and in the midst of the mess of moving around bedrooms and finishing off the bathroom. It makes me extremely grateful that I get to come home to a home that isn't under construction.

Gretch asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding Saturday night, so that's definitely something to look forward to! The last wedding I was a bridesmaid in was my cousin's - 3 years ago. I think it's kinda fun, and I'm looking forward to Gretch and Ryan's wedding because I won't have to drive so far for it (the 2 I have been in thus far have been about 8-10 hours away).

Well, I'd best get something accomplished this morning :)

The longest week of my life thus far

A week ago at this moment, I was on my way to the funeral home with my family to meet with the funeral home director to discuss preparations for my dad's funeral. Last Thursday night, June 14, my dad was driving his tractor home from Badger when he was struck from behind by a drunk driver and thrown from his tractor. He died upon impact. My mom called me Friday morning around 9am to tell me the news..."Amy? Daddy's dead!" She was sobbing...I could hear my little sister Amanda sobbing in the background as well. I was sobbing...how could something like this happen?

This past week has been the most painful week of my life. I really don't know how on earth I would have made it through without the support and prayers from so many friends and family.

Saturday night, after setting in place the funeral preparations, Mark and I headed back to Windom for what would prove to be yet another incredibly intense night. At the funeral home, I had volunteered to write the eulogy, and also to create a slideshow with pictures of my dad and our family. I'm not really sure how I slept that night - I never in a million years would've thought that I would be making a slideshow for my dad's funeral...or writing the eulogy for his funeral.

I really don't know what else to say. The visitation was this past Sunday, and his funeral at 2pm this past Monday. I just can't believe that he's gone, and that he's not going to come bursting through the door tonight at 8 o'clock when I get home to Humboldt. He won't be there to give me a big hug and to tell me all about his little sheep, or to talk about married life, and how things are going for us. He won't be there to see our children born someday, or to walk my little sister down the aisle when she gets married. He won't be there to make us all laugh like he used to. My dad was such a wonderful man, and I'm not entirely sure how things will work without him around.

The saddest day of my life :(

Friday morning after I finished my morning run, I called my mom, as I normally do. She was a bit flustered, since she didn't think my dad had come home last night. She said she'd call back a little later once she figured out where he was. She called back about 25 minutes later sobbing, and told me that my dad was killed last night by a drunk driver. There is so much to say, but I don't have the words...I don't know where to start.

I cannot tell you how awful the past two days have been for me. I have a few small fits of sanity in between long stretches of sobbing. My dad was by far the best man I have ever known, and I can't believe that he's gone.

I love you, daddy! Happy Father's Day!

Article about Dad's accident

My dad was hit and killed by a drunk driver Thursday night. Here's the article in the Des Moines Register about it:



https://qconline.com/news/iowa/farmer-killed-in-tractor-crash/article_3a21f47c-d603-574a-aac1-94a26087b9eb.html

Busy Weekend

After an incredibly busy week this past week, it looks like it's going to be another busy weekend too. I completely forgot to do the Vickie Shendel Fun Run this morning, but decided to run a 5K anyways - I most likely would have beat everyone with my stellar time :) (okay, maybe not, but I had a pretty good time!)

Mark has a softball tournament today, so I'm on my way there shortly. I like watching him play - he's a really great hitter - generally at least one over the fence every game!

After the tournament, I guess we're off to Worthington again to work on the Eleanor house. Last night we went there too, and got a LOT done! I planted all the plants in the back yard until we tackle the landscaping in the front of the house. Then, we actually got the bathroom primed, and all the outside lights put up. The house is actually almost liveable now, although i think I'll still be fine staying put in Windom when it's done :) It was a very productive day yesterday, which is making me feel much better about this project. Hopefully we'll make enough on it to be at least mostly debt-free a year from now!

On another note, looks like my car is done for. We've shelled out a lot of cash for repairs on it since my little trip to the ditch last October, and we just found out that it needs somemore work on the back end that will be another $700. I think we'll take our $700, and instead get me a newer car. (It's about time, anyways) It's too bad the ditch did so much damage to it, but it's an old car, and I've had it for 3 years, so it's about time to upgrade, I guess. It's just ominous thinking about adding on more debt when we're just trying to get out from under student loans and Mark's car payment. At least mine won't be nearly as expensive as his, so it won't take us 2 years to pay it off (hallelujah!) We're looking at a 2001 Grand Prix that is super decked out with a 3.8L V6 with all the options - only for $8.4K. Also, we're thinking maybe this 2000 Bonneville, but not sure yet. It's shocking to think about paying that much for a car - nothing I've ever had has been anywhere near that. Then again, Mark's MMC was double that, so he thinks it's cheap lol I'll take it!

Well, I'd better get Mark his frosty beverages or he may faint in the heat here today. Adios!

Flipping Houses is lots of work!

We didn't make it down to the Eleanor house tonight, but we're going down tomorrow night. It sure is a lot of work flipping a house! Last night we were at the house until after 11 just cleaning the walls and prepping them for paint. We spent 3 hours there cleaning just the kitchen! I was up at 5:15 yesterday since I worked in Sioux Falls, so with 3 hours on the road, a trip to Lowes, Menards, sitting through Mark's softball game, an hour visiting at McDonald's, 3 hours working on the house, and then the 30 minute ride home...yesterday was a long day. Today was much better, though! I haven't had a nap yet, but bed sure is looking good right now...only a little after 9...

This weekend should be alright - it's Riverfest here in Windom, so there's all sorts of stuff going on - fireworks on Friday night, and Mark has a softball tournament all day Saturday. Hopefully Saturday will be a beautiful day for a run - I'm already 4 miles behind for the week with all the wind here lately.

My sister-in-law is flying in from San Diego this weekend too, and we're headed to Wisconsin for the day on Sunday for Mark's cousin's HS graduation open house. I have a feeling that Monday will be a welcome one - back into the regular routine!