This guy is the craziest sleeper of the bunch.
Just a friendly reminder to all my parent friends to lock up any permanent markers you may have laying around. We've tried getting it off with a ton of different cleaners, magic eraser, etc. to no avail. I'd work harder at it or cover it up with paint, but we're going to be replacing the wall and painting it a different color anyway, so for now, it stays.
It isn't easy carting around these crazy kiddos much of the time, but it does help tremendously to have such great parks around the area. My older ones are old enough to explore a little less supervised, and the little ones are young enough to not be too fast for me yet, so that's a HUGE help!
It also helps to have this little one still sort of willing to stay in the Tula carrier.
It's hard to get this kid to stay still long enough to take his picture without it looking like a blur.
Baby girl shoes are going to do me in! ♥♥♥♥♥
It's harvest time! Our first without Daddy helping :( I think it was harder for me than the kids, but I don't think the enormity of it really sank in full force for any of us this particular day.
I'll give you one guess who was left behind on the first round...
I have been a part of this experience for the past 14 years. I've been through the range of emotions as far as it is concerned. I think for anyone who considers themselves a "farm widow" during planting and harvest, it's easy to understand feeling frustration or anger or resentment towards the farm work. But there's also an immense pride in seeing it all come together, and "feeding the world". It doesn't feel right out there not having Mark be in the driver seat or whipping around the field giving 4-wheeler rides to the boys. It does give me great joy thinking of Mark's grandpa and him and my Dad and my grandpa working together in heaven to bring in the harvest one day, but also great sorrow to think of the day when there is no more harvest here on earth for my boys to experience. Mark had always dreamed of taking over the farm and continuing on the tradition, but it's just not in the cards for him, and that makes me so sad.
Kendrick will be the one to be the most devastated when that day comes. He was, quite frankly, meant to be a farmer. He has it in his blood. He spent his 2nd, 3rd and 4th birthdays wishing and dreaming for more farm equipment. He talked about tractors nonstop for YEARS. In fact, if there is any way to preserve the farm for this kiddo, you know I'd do it. I never really cared much for the whole concept, and there were years I wished it would just go away (especially when Kendrick and Cashel were too little to care much and I was bearing the full burden at home), but I just can't envision it not being a part of our lives anymore.
On a lighter note, I *won't* miss all the field corn in nooks and crannies of my home on account of the boys bringing it home and "harvesting" using the toy tractors. Field corn with toddlers underfoot is NOT the best idea.
Getting home with overly tired kids is beginning to be a problem at our house. Cashel and Kendrick are WAY too heavy for me to carry them inside anymore, but I have to work pretty hard to get them to actually climb the stairs by themselves these days.
I had to take this picture to document what was probably the worst Sunday morning I've ever had. I ended up getting the kids all ready, dropping them off at Sunday School, and then going home and collapsing into a puddle of tears. Single parenting is HARD. It's cleaning up mess after mess after mess, Having food flung at you, cleaning up 3 poopy diapers, then followed by 2 pairs of poopy underwear. It's kids who claim to be STARVING, but yet you could make 6 different foods you KNOW they like, and they refuse to eat any of them, and then go telling everyone they "didn't get any food". It's kids who can't tell you they're teething, or why they're screaming. It's kids who feel it's a form of entertainment to throw an entire box of puzzle pieces up in the air and let them rain down on them, or a whole box of Cookie Crisp cereal. Marbles in the toddler's mouth. Milk spilled all over the throw rug, and an entire jar of pickles broken on the floor, followed by a Corelle plate shattered into splinters. None of it is completely out of the norm, but when it all hits in the same 1 hour period, it's just too much sometimes. It comes out of nowhere, and before you can even locate your cellphone to text an "SOS" to your friends, it's all over and done with, and you just want to be alone to process what just happened and grieve.
I did finally get myself together and composed, but it didn't really get much better when we got to church. It has been HARD to keep us all going to church on Sunday mornings. The big boys tell me all the time they "hate it" (even though I know they enjoy parts of it). Kendrick especially says he doesn't want to go and it's "boring" and he "hates" it. I've been trying to just find little ways for them to at least be there and hear some of the message, even if they don't appear to be paying attention, so it has been a major challenge to just keep that up. For a while, they sat on the stairs and colored. For a while, we sat in the chairs in the foyer and watched on the TV. For a couple Sundays we sat in the library and watched.
More recently, we started sitting up in the balcony far up in the back, and are just very slowly trying to ease that up now and migrate back down to the "land of the living" below.
I just want my kids to know that the body of Christ is important. It's not about the ritual or the requirement to go to church on Sunday, but so much more about the need to be surrounded by people who know and love Christ. Who we can be Christ to, and who can be Christ to us. But also (and this is a big one), I want the boys to know that they aren't the ones calling the shots. I want them to know that sometimes in life, you don't get to just let your emotions rule your life. Sometimes you have to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep doing the mucky things we don't want to do or don't feel like doing.
They don't get to just walk out because they're wiggly or disruptive (I mean, unless they're REALLY disruptive, and at that point, it's for a spanking, or having a major privilege taken away), because that then sends the message that if they act up, they get what they want. I cannot begin to tell you how hard that has been to enforce as a single Mom with two boys I can no longer physically manage due to their sheer size. However, I know it's important to get under control at this point for two reasons: 1) Because if I don't get it figured out now, they'll think they have a choice later, and it'll be harder, and 2) Because come mid-March, I'll be adding Ryan to the mix and starting all over again, which will be SIGNIFICANTLY harder.
I ordered "a box" of these, thinking it'd be like...a single box. Yeah...this is what I got. We weren't huge fans. The texture was just a little too odd for the likes of my kiddos.
In fact, the night I made those for supper was the night we instead had popcorn for supper.
After a few busy weeks, this guy needed a haircut! He looks so much more handsome when he's kept up well :)
I don't get to catch up with these two anywhere even remotely near often enough! I'm trying to make it a point to make it way more frequently!
Or these two! I am beginning to think ALL my half days off work should consist of friends and family.
Arguably my favorite part of the morning.
Cashel is at this ridiculously awkward posing stage. Can't get him to smile normal for a picture for the life of me!
I have met some pretty incredible people along this FTD journey. Martha happens to be one of them, and this compilation of interviews with caregivers has been a WONDERFUL addition to my morning devotions. If you're wondering how to support a dementia caregiver, take a look at this: It's SO good!
Getting ready in the morning with toddlers underfoot is dicey business. Maybe one day I will get around to finishing this "day in the life" post.
One of my happy places :) (aka: Anywhere with coffee in hand)
Working on photo books for the Grandparents (and also Daddy) for Christmas is one of my favorite parts of the year! I am always so glad to be done with them when I'm done, but it brings me such joy to relive the past year.
For an HOUR, the kids sat there watching the Windows 10 upgrade on the computer. I had told them that most of the games they wanted to play on there wouldn't work unless we upgraded from 8.1, and man were they ever STOKED!
This kid is such a little monkey. I'm in big trouble when he goes through another growth spurt!
I feel like this exemplifies everything in my life right now lol
The big boys had so much fun decorating photo frames for their teachers for Christmas gifts this year. I'm not entirely sure what their teachers will want to do with a framed picture of one single student in all their years of teaching, but I guess they'll find out!
I still feel like everything is so crowded up here now, but it also feels so "lived in", and I like that too.
A REALLY good date for ice cream and groceries with my man! ♥
The Veteran's Day program at Cashel's school was SO incredible!
In case you've been struggling with your past...words to the wise.
Got these puppies on Zulily and LOVE them! I do need to get some insoles put in, but these are so great, and they slip on so easy!
Ryan had his first "big" ouchie this month. Couldn't really avoid a scar, but he handled it like a champ. I hear chicks dig scars too, right? I know I did. #DaddyHasOneToo
No personality with these two. None.
Why we don't come here every day, I'm not really sure. It's so beautiful! The lake was beginning to freeze over this particular day, and there was a huge gaggle of geese making a pit stop on their way south for the winter.
Yes, I do timer photos and then get in the picture. No, I don't care if that's weird.
Typical mealtime at our place.
This girl LOVES her some "bear bear"
Of all the kids, I'd say Kendrick has the most Christmas spirit. They all do, of course, but this kid is ON it.
Not to be outdone...
So...I had to stop buying myself flowers. Turns out, I'm ALLERGIC to them.
It's not often I get to have lunch with my Des Moines siblings! We missed Elicia and Ben, but I had a fun (albeit short) visit with Dave, JJ and Molly and my sweet niece Cat. I had to run off to...
...a BABY SHOWER for one of my very, very best friends, who I lovingly call "The Steff". And she's having a BABY!! I was so excited to get to shower her with love and gifts :)
I'm glad I only spent $5 and not $30 on this pumpkin. Took the kids all of about 10 minutes upon walking in the door to find it and break it. Seriously.
Thanksgiving morning was pretty sweet!
Thanksgiving morning crafts after the parade. Cashel got so mad at himself for putting d's instead of b's that he just opted to stop writing "gobble".
Thanksgiving Day lunch. Don't worry - we did have an actual big old meal on Saturday, but I wasn't out to impress anyone on the big day. I asked the kids what they wanted, and this was their choice!
The visit with Daddy this particular day was short and not so sweet. This was the highlight of it: Mark was stroking Kendrick's hair really sweetly. I tried to get a video of it, but my phone was full #cheapphoneproblems and by the time I got it emptied enough to take a video, Mark had stopped. He doesn't do those kinds of things anymore, so it just melted my heart.
This pretty much sums up the visit: The big boys were cranky and uncooperative, Kinsley was happy as a clam and making messes everywhere, and Ryan just wanted to snuggle, but no one wanted to snuggle with him. I had to convince Mark to stay in the chair approximately 15 times before we could get this picture. He kept getting up over and over and over again. Happy Thanksgiving from us!
I didn't come prepared to go to Minneopa Falls this particular day, so Kinsley is wearing sock mittens, and Ryan has a pair of adult size thin gloves on.
It was so beautiful with all the snow!
This kid lol
I think by kid #4, I should have a PhD in wrangling wiggly toddlers.
When you take away electronics for the morning, suddenly, the 6 year old decides he wants to make muffins for everyone for breakfast. He's got a little work to do to make them actually edible, but he was so proud of them!
"Chicken chalafun" (Chicken Chow Fun) is the choice of my kiddos for Chinese takeout.
This is where it's at for me! Is it any wonder I struggle to lose the baby weight?
My kids now pose like this until I take their picture. They know pictures like this will show up in the family movie down the road, so yeah. I'm working on curbing the practice so they're not still doing this when they're in high school.
"Let me just take your picture quick and then you can open the presents!" 20 Shots, and this was the best I got...
Personalized popcorn tins from PersonalizationMall.com were a HUGE hit for the kids this year! I let them open their "Christmas Eve" boxes on the night we decorated for Christmas this year, since I realized last year that it didn't really make any sense to have them wait and not get to enjoy their Christmas jammies all season long, or wait to put their ornaments on the tree. It worked out great!
"Okay, guys - one picture all together now. Smile big!" And then the toddlers both lay down. #bigfamilyproblems
Kinsley Jo is in the "feed popcorn to all the people" phase right now.
It wasn't until this picture that I realized that Kinsley can no longer wear the baby headbands anymore. Also, how is her hair long enough to fall down around it?
Cashel made the green bean casserole all by himself this year! He was so proud!
These kiddos and their "Pa".
The turkey was, hands' down, the BEST I've ever done. This was such a yummy meal this year!!
These guys are so incredible! I'm so thankful for them and the encouragement they've been this past year to myself and the kiddos.
ESPECIALLY these two. There aren't enough words!
When you leave a toddler alone for two minutes, but she didn't want to eat in her actual high chair and there is leftover pie sitting on the table.
I messed up the time when we were supposed to go down to the courthouse to see Santa, and the boys were CRUSHED. Fortunately, I happen to know Santa, so I messaged Mrs. Claus, and she had Santa stop on over later that evening. The kids were so surprised and elated! Well...maybe not Kinsley. I'm so thankful for our community of support!
Just a friendly reminder to all my parent friends to lock up any permanent markers you may have laying around. We've tried getting it off with a ton of different cleaners, magic eraser, etc. to no avail. I'd work harder at it or cover it up with paint, but we're going to be replacing the wall and painting it a different color anyway, so for now, it stays.
It isn't easy carting around these crazy kiddos much of the time, but it does help tremendously to have such great parks around the area. My older ones are old enough to explore a little less supervised, and the little ones are young enough to not be too fast for me yet, so that's a HUGE help!
It also helps to have this little one still sort of willing to stay in the Tula carrier.
It's hard to get this kid to stay still long enough to take his picture without it looking like a blur.
Baby girl shoes are going to do me in! ♥♥♥♥♥
It's harvest time! Our first without Daddy helping :( I think it was harder for me than the kids, but I don't think the enormity of it really sank in full force for any of us this particular day.
I'll give you one guess who was left behind on the first round...
I have been a part of this experience for the past 14 years. I've been through the range of emotions as far as it is concerned. I think for anyone who considers themselves a "farm widow" during planting and harvest, it's easy to understand feeling frustration or anger or resentment towards the farm work. But there's also an immense pride in seeing it all come together, and "feeding the world". It doesn't feel right out there not having Mark be in the driver seat or whipping around the field giving 4-wheeler rides to the boys. It does give me great joy thinking of Mark's grandpa and him and my Dad and my grandpa working together in heaven to bring in the harvest one day, but also great sorrow to think of the day when there is no more harvest here on earth for my boys to experience. Mark had always dreamed of taking over the farm and continuing on the tradition, but it's just not in the cards for him, and that makes me so sad.
Kendrick will be the one to be the most devastated when that day comes. He was, quite frankly, meant to be a farmer. He has it in his blood. He spent his 2nd, 3rd and 4th birthdays wishing and dreaming for more farm equipment. He talked about tractors nonstop for YEARS. In fact, if there is any way to preserve the farm for this kiddo, you know I'd do it. I never really cared much for the whole concept, and there were years I wished it would just go away (especially when Kendrick and Cashel were too little to care much and I was bearing the full burden at home), but I just can't envision it not being a part of our lives anymore.
On a lighter note, I *won't* miss all the field corn in nooks and crannies of my home on account of the boys bringing it home and "harvesting" using the toy tractors. Field corn with toddlers underfoot is NOT the best idea.
Getting home with overly tired kids is beginning to be a problem at our house. Cashel and Kendrick are WAY too heavy for me to carry them inside anymore, but I have to work pretty hard to get them to actually climb the stairs by themselves these days.
I had to take this picture to document what was probably the worst Sunday morning I've ever had. I ended up getting the kids all ready, dropping them off at Sunday School, and then going home and collapsing into a puddle of tears. Single parenting is HARD. It's cleaning up mess after mess after mess, Having food flung at you, cleaning up 3 poopy diapers, then followed by 2 pairs of poopy underwear. It's kids who claim to be STARVING, but yet you could make 6 different foods you KNOW they like, and they refuse to eat any of them, and then go telling everyone they "didn't get any food". It's kids who can't tell you they're teething, or why they're screaming. It's kids who feel it's a form of entertainment to throw an entire box of puzzle pieces up in the air and let them rain down on them, or a whole box of Cookie Crisp cereal. Marbles in the toddler's mouth. Milk spilled all over the throw rug, and an entire jar of pickles broken on the floor, followed by a Corelle plate shattered into splinters. None of it is completely out of the norm, but when it all hits in the same 1 hour period, it's just too much sometimes. It comes out of nowhere, and before you can even locate your cellphone to text an "SOS" to your friends, it's all over and done with, and you just want to be alone to process what just happened and grieve.
I did finally get myself together and composed, but it didn't really get much better when we got to church. It has been HARD to keep us all going to church on Sunday mornings. The big boys tell me all the time they "hate it" (even though I know they enjoy parts of it). Kendrick especially says he doesn't want to go and it's "boring" and he "hates" it. I've been trying to just find little ways for them to at least be there and hear some of the message, even if they don't appear to be paying attention, so it has been a major challenge to just keep that up. For a while, they sat on the stairs and colored. For a while, we sat in the chairs in the foyer and watched on the TV. For a couple Sundays we sat in the library and watched.
More recently, we started sitting up in the balcony far up in the back, and are just very slowly trying to ease that up now and migrate back down to the "land of the living" below.
I just want my kids to know that the body of Christ is important. It's not about the ritual or the requirement to go to church on Sunday, but so much more about the need to be surrounded by people who know and love Christ. Who we can be Christ to, and who can be Christ to us. But also (and this is a big one), I want the boys to know that they aren't the ones calling the shots. I want them to know that sometimes in life, you don't get to just let your emotions rule your life. Sometimes you have to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep doing the mucky things we don't want to do or don't feel like doing.
They don't get to just walk out because they're wiggly or disruptive (I mean, unless they're REALLY disruptive, and at that point, it's for a spanking, or having a major privilege taken away), because that then sends the message that if they act up, they get what they want. I cannot begin to tell you how hard that has been to enforce as a single Mom with two boys I can no longer physically manage due to their sheer size. However, I know it's important to get under control at this point for two reasons: 1) Because if I don't get it figured out now, they'll think they have a choice later, and it'll be harder, and 2) Because come mid-March, I'll be adding Ryan to the mix and starting all over again, which will be SIGNIFICANTLY harder.
I ordered "a box" of these, thinking it'd be like...a single box. Yeah...this is what I got. We weren't huge fans. The texture was just a little too odd for the likes of my kiddos.
In fact, the night I made those for supper was the night we instead had popcorn for supper.
After a few busy weeks, this guy needed a haircut! He looks so much more handsome when he's kept up well :)
I don't get to catch up with these two anywhere even remotely near often enough! I'm trying to make it a point to make it way more frequently!
Or these two! I am beginning to think ALL my half days off work should consist of friends and family.
Arguably my favorite part of the morning.
Cashel is at this ridiculously awkward posing stage. Can't get him to smile normal for a picture for the life of me!
I have met some pretty incredible people along this FTD journey. Martha happens to be one of them, and this compilation of interviews with caregivers has been a WONDERFUL addition to my morning devotions. If you're wondering how to support a dementia caregiver, take a look at this: It's SO good!
Getting ready in the morning with toddlers underfoot is dicey business. Maybe one day I will get around to finishing this "day in the life" post.
One of my happy places :) (aka: Anywhere with coffee in hand)
Working on photo books for the Grandparents (and also Daddy) for Christmas is one of my favorite parts of the year! I am always so glad to be done with them when I'm done, but it brings me such joy to relive the past year.
For an HOUR, the kids sat there watching the Windows 10 upgrade on the computer. I had told them that most of the games they wanted to play on there wouldn't work unless we upgraded from 8.1, and man were they ever STOKED!
This kid is such a little monkey. I'm in big trouble when he goes through another growth spurt!
I feel like this exemplifies everything in my life right now lol
The big boys had so much fun decorating photo frames for their teachers for Christmas gifts this year. I'm not entirely sure what their teachers will want to do with a framed picture of one single student in all their years of teaching, but I guess they'll find out!
I still feel like everything is so crowded up here now, but it also feels so "lived in", and I like that too.
A REALLY good date for ice cream and groceries with my man! ♥
The Veteran's Day program at Cashel's school was SO incredible!
In case you've been struggling with your past...words to the wise.
Got these puppies on Zulily and LOVE them! I do need to get some insoles put in, but these are so great, and they slip on so easy!
Ryan had his first "big" ouchie this month. Couldn't really avoid a scar, but he handled it like a champ. I hear chicks dig scars too, right? I know I did. #DaddyHasOneToo
No personality with these two. None.
Why we don't come here every day, I'm not really sure. It's so beautiful! The lake was beginning to freeze over this particular day, and there was a huge gaggle of geese making a pit stop on their way south for the winter.
Yes, I do timer photos and then get in the picture. No, I don't care if that's weird.
Typical mealtime at our place.
This girl LOVES her some "bear bear"
Of all the kids, I'd say Kendrick has the most Christmas spirit. They all do, of course, but this kid is ON it.
Not to be outdone...
So...I had to stop buying myself flowers. Turns out, I'm ALLERGIC to them.
It's not often I get to have lunch with my Des Moines siblings! We missed Elicia and Ben, but I had a fun (albeit short) visit with Dave, JJ and Molly and my sweet niece Cat. I had to run off to...
...a BABY SHOWER for one of my very, very best friends, who I lovingly call "The Steff". And she's having a BABY!! I was so excited to get to shower her with love and gifts :)
I'm glad I only spent $5 and not $30 on this pumpkin. Took the kids all of about 10 minutes upon walking in the door to find it and break it. Seriously.
Thanksgiving morning was pretty sweet!
Thanksgiving morning crafts after the parade. Cashel got so mad at himself for putting d's instead of b's that he just opted to stop writing "gobble".
Thanksgiving Day lunch. Don't worry - we did have an actual big old meal on Saturday, but I wasn't out to impress anyone on the big day. I asked the kids what they wanted, and this was their choice!
The visit with Daddy this particular day was short and not so sweet. This was the highlight of it: Mark was stroking Kendrick's hair really sweetly. I tried to get a video of it, but my phone was full #cheapphoneproblems and by the time I got it emptied enough to take a video, Mark had stopped. He doesn't do those kinds of things anymore, so it just melted my heart.
This pretty much sums up the visit: The big boys were cranky and uncooperative, Kinsley was happy as a clam and making messes everywhere, and Ryan just wanted to snuggle, but no one wanted to snuggle with him. I had to convince Mark to stay in the chair approximately 15 times before we could get this picture. He kept getting up over and over and over again. Happy Thanksgiving from us!
I didn't come prepared to go to Minneopa Falls this particular day, so Kinsley is wearing sock mittens, and Ryan has a pair of adult size thin gloves on.
It was so beautiful with all the snow!
This kid lol
I think by kid #4, I should have a PhD in wrangling wiggly toddlers.
When you take away electronics for the morning, suddenly, the 6 year old decides he wants to make muffins for everyone for breakfast. He's got a little work to do to make them actually edible, but he was so proud of them!
"Chicken chalafun" (Chicken Chow Fun) is the choice of my kiddos for Chinese takeout.
This is where it's at for me! Is it any wonder I struggle to lose the baby weight?
My kids now pose like this until I take their picture. They know pictures like this will show up in the family movie down the road, so yeah. I'm working on curbing the practice so they're not still doing this when they're in high school.
"Let me just take your picture quick and then you can open the presents!" 20 Shots, and this was the best I got...
Personalized popcorn tins from PersonalizationMall.com were a HUGE hit for the kids this year! I let them open their "Christmas Eve" boxes on the night we decorated for Christmas this year, since I realized last year that it didn't really make any sense to have them wait and not get to enjoy their Christmas jammies all season long, or wait to put their ornaments on the tree. It worked out great!
"Okay, guys - one picture all together now. Smile big!" And then the toddlers both lay down. #bigfamilyproblems
Kinsley Jo is in the "feed popcorn to all the people" phase right now.
It wasn't until this picture that I realized that Kinsley can no longer wear the baby headbands anymore. Also, how is her hair long enough to fall down around it?
Cashel made the green bean casserole all by himself this year! He was so proud!
These kiddos and their "Pa".
The turkey was, hands' down, the BEST I've ever done. This was such a yummy meal this year!!
These guys are so incredible! I'm so thankful for them and the encouragement they've been this past year to myself and the kiddos.
ESPECIALLY these two. There aren't enough words!
When you leave a toddler alone for two minutes, but she didn't want to eat in her actual high chair and there is leftover pie sitting on the table.
I messed up the time when we were supposed to go down to the courthouse to see Santa, and the boys were CRUSHED. Fortunately, I happen to know Santa, so I messaged Mrs. Claus, and she had Santa stop on over later that evening. The kids were so surprised and elated! Well...maybe not Kinsley. I'm so thankful for our community of support!
